DO YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO APOLOGIZE?

I Was Thinking About Apologies And I'm Pretty Sure I Came Up With A
Perfect Analogy. What Are Apologies Like? Apologies Are A Lot Like
Weeds: Once In A While, They're Pretty, But They're Usually Just
Annoying. Similarly, If You Think About The Countless Apologies You've
Probably Heard In The Past Year Alone, You Can Only Remember One Or
Two Specifically- And Those Were Either Really Good Ones Or Really Bad
Ones.
Bottom Line On Apologies: Most Of Them Aren't Thoughtful Or Sincere.
For Most Of Us, Making A Mistake Usually Results In The Fear That We
Will Get In Trouble Or Be Punished, So We Throw Out A Quick "I'M
SORRY" To Stop A Potential Argument And Avoid Getting In Trouble.
Often Someone Issues An Obligatory Apology And Makes A Sad Face To Go
Along With It, Convinced That All The Necessary Components Of An
Apology Have Been Met. Did I Say, "I'M SORRY?" Check. Did I Look Sad?
Check. Which Brings Us To How To Offer An Apology The Right Way.
I Don't Actually Have To Say The Words, "I'm SORRY?"
It's A Total Paradox But A Good Apology Doesn't Have To Include The
Words "I'm Sorry" Or "I Apologize." The Truth Is That A Good Apology
Includes Three Components: Acknowledging The Other Person's Feelings;
Taking Ownership Of What You Did That Caused Upset; And Assuring Him
Or Her That You Won't Make The Same Mistake Again. For Specifics, I'll
Give You Some Examples Of Good And Bad- No, Atrocious- Apologies•
EXAMPLES OF GOOD APOLOGIES
"I Know You've Asked Me Not To Flirt With Other People. At The Time, I
Honestly Didn't Think I Was. Now I Realize You Were Right, And That
Wasn't Right Of Me To Do That. I Won't Do It Again." NOTE: Did You See
The Words, "I'M Sorry?" Okay, Then My Job Is Almost Done Here!
"I Have Spent The Day Trying To Understand Why You Were Upset. I
Finally Get It. I Wasn't Thinking About Your Feelings, Only My Own. If
I Ever Do That Again, Honey; I Will Deal With This Because I Care
About You." Note: This One Is Especially Good Because The Apologizer
Actually Took Time To Reflect On The Behaviour (e.g, "I Have Spent The
Day Trying To Understand Why...). In Each Of The Good Apologies, It
Feels As If The Apologizer Is Conceding, And Is No Longer In A Power
Struggle To Win Or Be Right•
BAD APOLOGIES
"I Heard You; You Keep Saying It. I'm Sorry, Okay? I Said I Won't Do
It Again." Note: I Don't Know About You, But I Don't Want To Be On The
Receiving End Of This Apology.
"Apologize To You? What About Me? You Think You're The Only One Who
Did Anything Wrong Here?" Note: Enough Said. "I Know I Shouldn't Have
Done What I Did, But You Kind Of Set Me Up For It. You Bring It Out Of
Me, And It's Hard To Control Myself When You Push Me Too Far." Note:
Turning The Tables Is Of The Most Common Tactics For Narcissists. They
Avoid Accountability At Costs And Frequently Try To Turn The Tables,
Causing The Other Person To Feel Confused And To Ultimately Back Down•

This Kind Of Apology Is Especially Toxic. If You Get This Type Of
Apology From Your Partner, You Need To Seriously Evaluate The
Relationship. Among The Bad Apologies, You'll See How They Keep The
Disconnect And Arguments Alive. Bad Apologies Are Yet Another Attempt
To Try To Show The Other Person You Were Right All Along•

WHEN IS IT TIME TO APOLOGIZE?

Because Everyone Has A Different Personality Style, Everyone Deserves
A Little Wiggle Room When It Comes To The Timing Of An Apology. The
Ideal Apology, Of Course, Involves Someone Apologizing Right Away. Yet
Some People Need A Little Time To Retreat To Their Own Corner Before
They Can Return To The Group And Play Nicely. I Crawl Out Of My Skin A
Bit Each Time Someone Flippantly Announces Their Approach To
Relationship Problems In The Following Way: "We Have A Rule Where WE
Never Go TO Bed Angry." Child, Please! If Only Life Were That Easy. If
Someone Needs An Evening Or Even A Couple Of Days To Reflect Before
Coming Back With An Apology, Its Okay. If You Are Waiting For An
Apology, Distract Yourself With An Activity That Absorbs Your Mental
Energy And Be Patient. The Apology May Come Sooner Than You Imagine,
But You Can Also Always Ask For An Apology In A Couple Of Days If You
Haven't Yet Received It. By That Time, The Two Of You Will Probably
Have A Much More Effective Conversation As A Result•

Have You Received Any Good Apologies Lately? Or Just The Toxic Kind?

DOES THE BIBLE SAY IT'S A SIN FOR WOMEN TO WEAR PANTS?

THE TRUTH ABOUT Deuteronomy 22:5
"The Woman Shall Not Wear That Which Pertaineth Unto A Man, Neither
Shall A Man Put On A Woman's Garment: For All That Do So Are
Abomination Unto The LORD Thy God." This Verse-- Deuteronomy 22:5-- Is
One Of The Most Commonly Quoted And Debated Verses In The Old
Testament.
Some Christians Have Taken This Verse To Mean That Christian Women
Shouldn't Wear Pants, Arguing That Pants Are That Which "Pertaineth
Unto A Man." Many Sincere And Honest Christians Have Grappled With
This Issue, Wanting To Be Pleasing To God. This Teaching, As With All
Teachings Regarding The Scriptures, Needs To Be Carefully Examined. It
Is Just As Much An Error To Teach Something That The Scriptures Don't
Say As It Is To Ignore What The Scripture Do Say.
The Teaching That It Is Wrong For Christian Women To Wear Pants Is
Based Upon The Following Beliefs:
1) Deut 22:5 Teaches That Women Should Not Wear That Which Pertains Unto A Man.
2) Pants Pertain To A Man Because They Were Not Only Exclusively
Invented For Men, But They Also Have Historically Been Worn Only By
Men.
3) The Bible Teaches Separation Of The Sexes And Since There Is So
Little Distinction Between Men's And Women's Pants, They Are
Essentially Unisex And Therefore Do Not Provide Adequate Separation.
The First Assertion, Which States That Deuteronomy Specifically
Forbids The Wearing Of "That Which Pertaineth Unto A Man," Deserves
Careful Study. As With The Study Of Any Scripture, It Is Important To
Read The Passage In Context And Examine The Relevant Words And Their
Meanings In The Original Text. A Reputable Bible Dictionary Or Lexicon
Can Be An Invaluable Aid.
The Phrase "That Which Pertaineth," Or Simply The Word Petaineth In
The King James Version Of The Bible, Is Translated From The Hebrew
Word Keliy, Which Means "Article, Vessel, Implement, Or Utensil," 1
Translators Commonly Render Keliy As Weapon, Armor Or Instrument In
The Old Testament. The Word Man, In Both The First And Last Part Of
Deut 22:5, Is The Hebrew Word Geber Meaning "Man, Strong Man, Or
Warrior (Emphasizing Strength Or Ability To Fight)."
2. It Is Important To Note That This Is Not The Only Word For Man In
Hebrew. Verse 13 Of This Very Same Chapter Uses The Hebrew Word "Iysh,
Which Is Also Translated Man And Means Just That- "Man, Male (In
Contrast To Woman, Female)."
3• It Is Apparent That Moses, When Writing Deut 22:5, Was Quite
Intentionally Not Talking About A Man In General, But A Very Specific
Kind Of Man- Namely, A Warrior Or Soldier. Considering This, Perhaps A
Better Translation Of This Verse Would Be As Follows:
"The Woman Shall Not Put On [The Weapons/Armor Of A Warrior], Neither
Shall A [Warrior] Put On A Woman's Garment: For All That Do So Are
Abomination Unto The LORD Thy GOD."
"As The Word... Geber Is Here Used, Which Properly Signifies A Strong
Man Or Man Of War, It Is Very Probable That Armour Is Here Intended;
Especially As We Know That In The Worship Of Venus, To Which That Of
Astarte Or Ashtaroth Among The Canaanites Bore A Striking Resemblance,
The Women Were Accustomed To To Appear In Armour Before Her."
4• John Gill In His Exposition Of The Entire Bible Sees A Similar
Meaning In 22:5:
"...And The Word [Keliy] Also Signifies Armour, As Onkelos Renders It;
And So Here Forbids Women Putting On A Military Habit And Going With
Men To War, As Was Usual With The Eastern Women; And So Maimonides
Illustrates It, By Putting A Mitre Or An Helmet On Her Head, And
Clothing Herself With A Coat Of Mail; And In Like Manner Josephus
Explains It, 'Take Heed, Especially In War, That A Woman Do Not Make
Use Of The Habit Of A Man, Or A Man That Of A Woman...' "
Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen Of The United Synagogue Of Conservative Judaism
Writes In An Excerpt From An Article Entitled "Cross Dressing And
Deuteronomy 22:5,"
"In Another Attempt To Identify The Quintessential 'Men's Items; Rabbi
Eliezer Ben Jacob, Quoted In The Talmud (Edited About 800 C.E.), Says,
'What Is The Proof That A Woman May Not Go Forth With Weapons To War?'
He Then Cites Our Verse [Deuteronomy 22:5], Which He Reads This Way:
'A Warrior's Gear May Not Be Put On A Woman' (B. Naz. 59a). He Reads
Kli Gever [Geber] As The Homograph Kli Gibbor, Meaning A 'Warrior's
Gear' ."
Rabbi Tilsen Further States,
"This Same Understanding Is Followed By Midrash Mishlei (Proverbs)
Which Contends That The Biblical Character Yael In The Book Of Judges
Kills General Sisera With A Tent Pin Instead Of A Sword In Order To
Comply With This Law. It Would Have Been 'Unlady-Like' For Her To Use
A Sword--- Worse, A Violation Of The Law--- Because A Sword Is A Man's
Tool..."
Considering The Sheer Specificity Of Deut 22:5 And The Precise Nature
Of Those Things That Are Forbidden, Deut 22:5 Is Most Likely
Ceremonial Law Rather Than Moral Law, Which Would Mean That It Would
Have A Little, If Any, Implications For Christians Today. Many
Believe, However, That This Verse States That Violators Of This Verse
States That Violators Of This Law Are An Abomination To God And That
Which Was An Abomination To God In The Old Testament Would Also Be An
Abomination To God In The New Testament. However, The Usage Of The
Word Abomination In Deut 22:5 Does Not Necessarily Make It A Timeless
Moral Law Because Any Violation Of God's Mandates Is An Abomination To
Him, Whether It Is A Violation Of Ceremonial Law Or Moral Law.
Furthermore, Deut 22:5 Is Placed Squarely In The Middle Of, And Is
Completely Surrounded By, Ceremonial Laws. If It Is Indeed A Principle
To Be Literally Followed Today, Why Would God Choose To Bury This
Verse In The Middle Of What Are Clearly Ceremonial Laws? The Second
Argument Against Christian Women Wearing Pants Is That Pants Have
Historically Been Worn By And Associated With Men And Are Therefore
Men's Clothing. One Problem With This View Is That It Is Not A
Consistently Applied Principle Among Those That Advocate It. Many Of
The Articles Of Clothing Have Histories Of Orginating With A Certain
SEX. Consider T-Shirts- These Too Were Invented For Men And Originally
Worn Exclusively By Men. The T-Shirt Was Introduced To America During
WWI When American Soldiers Noticed European Soldiers Wearing Them. By
WWI, The T-Shirt Became Standard Issue In The American Military And
Was Quickly Introduced Into American Fashion.
6• Not Only Were T-Shirts Orginally Invented For Men, But They Were
Invented Specifically For The Military. Considering This In Light Of
The True Meaning Of Deut 22:5, Which Seems To Be Forbidding Women From
Wearing The Habilments Of A Soldier, It Would Logically Follow That A
Woman Wearing A T-Shirt Would Be In Much Greater Violation Of This
Verse Than A Woman Wearing Pants. Furthermore, There Is No Distinction
Between Men's And Women's T-Shirts.

If Clothing History Is The Sole Determining Factor Of What Constitutes
Clothing That Pertains To A Man, Then T-Shirts Must Be Forbidden As
Well If Consistency Is To Be Maintained. It Would Seem That In
Practice, However, Those That Teach That It Is A Sin For Women To Wear
Pants Seem To Believe That Clothing Distinctions Only Apply To What Is
Worn On The Legs While Ignoring The Obvious About Other Types Of
Clothing Commonly Worn By Women. In Order For The Teaching To Be
Consistent, The Very Reasons Cited For Prohibiting Women From Wearing
Pants Would Also Prohibit Baseball Caps, Team Jerseys, Work Boots And
Other Article Of Clothing Historically Worn By Men. Taking The Concept
Even Further, What Of The Colour Pink Or Blue? Should Women Also Be
Forbidden To Wear Blue, Or Should Men Forbidden To Wear Pink, As These
Colours Have Historically Been Associated With The Opposite Sex? How
Far Should This Concept Be Taken?

Finally, The Third Argument, Which States That God Requires A
Distinction Between Men's And Women's Clothing And That Pants Provide
Little If Any Distinction, Must Also Be Weighed In Light Of The
Scriptures. The Scriptures, As With Most Matters, Provide A Wealth Of
Information On This Issue As Well.

It Is Curious How Those That Forbid Pants On Women, Based On Their
Idea Of Separation, Never Seem To Consider The Clothing Norms In The
Bible.
Even The Most Basic Study Into Biblical Clothing Norms Reveals That
There Was Very Little Distinction Between The Articles Of Clothing
Worn By Men And Women. In Genesis, We Find The First Accounts Of
Clothing Mentioned In The Bible. First, We Find That Upon Recognizing
Their Nakedness, Adam And Eve Sewed Garments Of Fig Leaves Together To
Cover Themselves (Gen 3:7). This Is An Interesting Account In That We
Find Humans Attempting To Clothe Themselves, But Obviously God Was Not
Pleased With Their Choices, As Later We Find That God Made New Clothes
For Them. Gen 3:21 Records That God Made "Coats Of Skin" For Them To
Wear. The Word Coats In This Verse Is The Hebrew Word Kethoneth And
Means "A Long Shirt-Like Garment."
7• Interestingly, Moses, Under The Inspiration Of The Holy Spirit,
Chose The Exact Same Word To Describe The Specific Type Of Clothing
That God Made For Both Adam And Eve. Where Is The Distinction Here? If
God Chose To Make So Little Distinction Between A Man's And Woman's
Clothes That A Single Word Can Describe The Specific Clothing Worn
Both By Adam And Eve, Then Who Are We To Require A Greater
Distinction? Later, Throughout The Old And New Testament, Common Dress
Consisted Of Two Separate Pieces. In The Old Testament, The First Part
Of The Jewish Costume Was Still The Kethoneth Such As Was Worn By Adam
And Eve. In The New Testament, This Garment Is Called Chiton In The
Greek And Is Often Translated As Coat In The King James Version Bible.
According To The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, The
Kethoneth/Chiton Was,
"...A Long-Sleeved Tunic Worn Over The Sadhin, Likewise A Shirt With
Sleeves... Here The 'Coat' (Hebrew 'Kethoneth) Was The Ordinary "Inner
Garment' Worn By The Jew Of The Day, In Which He Did The Work Of The
Day (See Mt 24:18; Mk 13:16). It Resembled The Roman Tunic,
Corresponding Most Nearly To Our 'Long Shirt,' Reaching Below The
Knees Always, And In Case It Was Designed For Dress Occasions,
Reaching Almost To The Ground,"
8• Easton's Bible Dictionary States That This Basic Garment Was Worn
By Both Men And Women:
"The 'Coat' (Kethoneth), Of Wool, Cotton, Or Linen, Was Worn By Both Sexes."
Easton's Further States That,
"The Robes Of Men And Women Were Not Very Much Different In Form From
Each Other."
9• The Second Part Of The Common Jewish Costume Was The "Outer
Garment." Throughout The Old And New Testaments, The Outer Garment
Varied In Size, Shape And Purpose. It Is Given Various Names (Both In
The Original Hebrew And In Translation) And Is Used In A Variety Of
Ways. This Outer Garment Was Commonly Used To Cover The Head Of Both
Men And Women (Cf. Ruth 3:15, 2 Sam 15:30) And Was Also Commonly
Wrapped Around The Shoulders (Cf. Isa 3:22). While The Outer Garment
Served Many Purposes And Was At Times Used In Different Ways By Men
And Women, The Way It Was Used Was Not Consistent With Either Sex. The
Garment Itself Does Not Appear To Have Been Made Functionally
Different To Any Significant Degree, And The Distinctions Between The
Male And Female Outer Garments Were Merely Stylistic (i.e Colour,
Trim, Size, e.t.c).
In Light Of The Ample Information We Have On Male And Female Garments
In The Bible, It Is Hard To Justify The Radical Distinction Between
Men's And Women's Clothing Required By Christians That Forbid Women
From Wearing Pants. There Is No Evidence That Such A Radical
Distinction Existed In Biblical Times. While There Was A Difference In
Men's And Women's Clothing In The Scriptures, These Differences Were
Merely Stylistic And Not Functional Differences.
The Differences Were Only Found In Colour, Trim, Size. E.t.c. And Not
In The Actual Form Or Function Of The Clothing As Is Seen In Pants And
Skirts Or Dresses. The Differences Between Men's And Women's Pants
Today Are As Great As The Differences Between Men's And Women's
Garments In The Bible. Essentially, Christians Today That Forbid Women
From Wearing Pants Demand A Difference In Form And Function In Men's
And Women's Clothing, Whereas The Bible Only Records A Stylistic
Difference. This Amounts To Adding To God's Word And Placing
Requirements On Our Sisters In The Lord That The Bible Does Not
Support.
Many That Forbid Women To Wear Pants Argue That If It Is Acceptable
For Women To Wear Pants, Then It Should Be Acceptable For A Man To
Wear A Dress Or A Skirt. This Is A Valid Point. However, There Is No
Inherent Sin In A Man Putting On A Skirt-Like Garment, Which Is A
Common Practice In Some Cultures Around The World Just As It Was In
The Bible. The Error Would Be In The Fact That A Man Wearing A Skirt
In Modern America Society Would Be Deemed As Counter- Culture To The
Very People We, As Christians, Are Trying To Be Examples To-- Namely
Unbelievers. However, Women Wearing Pants Is Hardly Counter Culture.
While There Was Once A Time In Our Society When A Woman In Pants Would
Have Been Viewed Negatively By SOCIETY, Such Is Not The Case Today. Is
That Because Society's Morals Have Declined, And It No Longer Sees
Women In Pants As The Sin That It Is? Of Course Not, It Is Merely A
Change In Fashion. Just Because Society Had A Particular View In The
Past, Does Not Mean That Such A View Was Inherently More Moral. Ford
Once Made Only Black Cars And Refused To Make Any Other Colour. Today,
Fords Come In Every Colour Under The Sun. Was That The Result Of Some
Sort Of Moral Backsliding? No, It Is Just That Society's Tastes Have
Changed. In Renaissance Europe, Silk Hosiery Were Considered
Appropriate Attire For Men, Yet Today They Are Deemed As Feminine.
Changes In Style And Fashion Aren't Inherently Sinful And Most Of The
Time Only Reflect A Change In Taste. Women's Pants Are No Different.
Women Did Not Start Wearing Pants As A Means Of Rebelion Or To Be More
"Manly" But Because They Were More Comfortable And Functional. Fashion
Has Been Moving In The Direction Of More Function And Less Style For
Well Over A Century Now. This Is Evidenced Most Recently By The Fact
That Suits And Ties Are Much Less Common In The Workplace Now, Having
Been Replaced By Khakis And Button-Up Shirts. Does That Signal Some
Moral Decline? Absolutely Not-- It Only Reflects A Trend In Fashions
Did In Moving Toward Pants. It Is Important That We Do Not Have A
Knee-Jerk Reaction To Every Change In Fashion. Clearly, Some Are
Indicative Of Moral Decline, But Many Are Not. As With Everything,
Changes In Fashion Must Be Weighed Against Biblical Truths To Make The
Determination•
In Short, The Issue Of Clothing Must Always Be Carefully, Thoughtfully
And Honestly Studied From A Scriptural Perspective While Allowing The
Scriptures To Be The Ultimate Authority On Such Issues. A Thorough
Study Into The Clothing Norms Of The Bible Reveals That There Was No
Distinction Between Men's And Women's Clothing In The Bible Beyond
Stylistic Differences Such As Trim, Colour And Size. In Fact, God
Himself Made Clothing For Adam And Eve That Was So Similar That One
Word (Kethoneth) Could Describe The Specific Garment He Made For Each
Of Them. This Same Word Describes The Clothing Worn By Godly Men And
Women Throughout The Bible From The Old Testament To The New
Testament. Yet Today, Many Christians Demand Much More Than Even The
Bible Did By Requiring Not Only A Difference In Style But A Difference
In Function And Form As Well. If God Makes No Such Clothing Demands On
His People, Then Who Are We To Make Them? Do We Know Better Than GOD?

IS YOUR GUT LEADING- OR MISLEADING YOU?

One's Emotions Can Be Helpful In Pointing The Way Toward Love- Or As
Unreliable As A Broken Compass Whose Needle Points In Only One
Direction. That's Because Lots Of Things Influence Ouq Feelings.
Sometimes They Are Based On Logic. Sometimes They Are Influenced By
Fear. Sometimes We Can't Pinpoint The Reason, But We Just Have A
Nagging Sense About Something Or Someone•
In Your Dating Decisions, How Much Credence Should You Give To These
Gut Feelings? There's No Ironclad Answer For Every Person And Every
Circumstance. But As You're Trying To Figure Out How To Decipher That
Small Inner Nudge, Here Are Some Important Questions To Ask Yourself:
1• ARE MY GUT INSTINCTS IN LINE WITH MY LOGIC?
If Your Intuition And YOUR Rational Thinking Are Telling You The Same
Thing, You Probably Have Nothing To Worry About. That's Because When
All The Arrows Are Pointing The Same Direction, It's Pretty Clear
Which Way To Head. But When It Comes To Love And Romance, Things Are
Usually More Complicated Than That. It Might Be That You Are Wrestling
With The Idea Of Following A Third Arrow- Which Is What You Want To
Do, Even If Your Gut And Your Brain Are Assuring You It's A Horrible
Idea. If This Is The Case, Resist The Urge To Ignore What Your
Intuition And Your Brain Are Telling You•
2• ARE MY GUT FEELINGS FEAR-BASED?
If This Turns Out To Be The Case, That Doesn't Mean They're Wrong And
You Shouldn't Follow Them. But It Might Mean You Should Take Them With
A Grain Of Salt. Dig A Little Deeper. Is Your Fear Based On Actual
Danger, Or Is It Fueled By Old Baggage You've Yet To Unpack And
Unload? Sometimes What Seems Like Your Gut Talking Can Actually Be Old
Hurts And Wounds Getting Vocal. If So, Some Healing, Therapy, Prayer,
Or Straight Talk With Yourself Might Be In Order•
3• ARE MY GUT FEELINGS CONSISTENT OVERTIME?
Sometimes We Put Emotions On The Back Burner. Our Intuition Is Talking
To Us, But There's No Immediate Danger Or Need For A Quick Decision,
So We Give Things Time To See If Future Events Confirm Or Recalibrate
Our Instincts. But If That Nagging Small Voice Has Been Consistently
Giving The Same Warning For A While Now, It's Wise You Take Heed•

4• ARE MY GUT FEELINGS SAYING THE SAME THING AS CLOSE FRIENDS AND
FAMILY WHO KNOW ME WELL, AND WHOSE OPINION I RESPECT?

If So, It Adds Credence To The Intuition You May Be Trying To Dismiss.
Pay Close Attention When Your Intuition And People You Trust Are
Speaking In Unison•

5• AM I IN DENIAL?

It's Easy To Develop Blind Spots When Our Emotions Are Focused On The
Possibility Of Lasting Love. Still, Most Of Us Know The Stubborn Truth
Down Deep, Though We May Be Unwilling To Admit It To Ourselves Or
Anyone Else. Ask Yourself Honestly If You're Fighting Your Intuition,
Even If Somewhere Inside You Know It's Spot On•

6• WHAT KIND OF TRACK RECORD DO MY GUT FEELINGS HAVE?

Flip Through The Pages Of Your Memory And Consider The Times Your
Intuition Has Kicked In. Did You Follow Your Feelings Too Quickly And
Later Regret Your Haste? Or Did You Ignore Your Intuition And Wish You
Had Listened Instead? The Past Won't Necessarily Tell You Exactly What
You Should Do This Time Around, But It Will Indictate If Your
Intuition Is Typically Reliable.

Sometimes Circumstances Disprove Our Initial Gut Feelings. Sometimes
We Need Time To Admit To Ourselves That Our Intuition Was Right All
Along. But By Asking Ourselves Questions Like These, We Can Often
Hasten The Process Of Figuring Out Whether Our Gut Is Just Chattering
Or Providing Wise Counsel•

GETTING TO KNOW A MAN YOU MET ONLINE

One Of The Most Common Questions I Get Asked About Online Dating Is
What To Do To Get To Know And Attract A Man Through The Things You Say
In E-Mails Or Phone Calls In Order To Create Interest Before You Meet
In Person.

Ok, Let's Say You "Meet" A Man Online And Start To Correspond With Him
On A Daily Basis. He's Intelligent, Charming, Attractive And Has A Lot
Going For Him In General. You Have Fun Communicating With Him And
Make Sure To Do And Say Things That Would Help Determine If He's The
Right Guy And Capture His Attention If He Is.

But Then It Happens...

Out Of The Blue He Stops Writing Or Calling And You're Left Feeling
Confused And Disappointed Because Out Of All Your Matches, This Guy
Was The One You Were Most Excited About Meeting. This Is Never A Fun
Feeling. How Can You Get To Know The Right Man Online And Do It In A
Way That Increases The Chances You'll Keep Him Attracted From The
First "Hello" All The Way Through A First Date... And Beyond?

GET CLEAR ON WHAT ONLINE DATING IS FOR:

First Of All, I Want To Make A Distinction About What I Believe Online
Dating Is. Online Dating Is A Great Way To Get Introduced And To
Qualify Men Who Share Your Interests And Values, For The Purpose Of
Seeing If There Is Spark Enough There To Meet In Person.

A Few E-Mails, Phone Calls, And Text Messages Are A Kind Of Virtual
"Flirting." There Is No Real Relationship Yet In The Man's Mind.
Therefore, If You've Been Talking To A Man Online For A Little While
(Weeks Or Months) And He Suddenly Stops Writing Or Takes Longer To
Write You Back, Don't Take It Too Personally.

The Key Here Is Not To Overanalyze Why. There Is No Rhyme Or Reason
For Why A Man Will Do This, And Trying To Figure It Out Will Not Only
Drive You Crazy, But You'll Inadvertently Give Off A "Vibe" That Won't
Help You. As Disappointing As It May Feel, It's Best To Just Move On.
My Quick Tip Is To Qualify With A Phone Conversation First, Then Meet
A Guy For A Low-Pressure Or Fun "Get To Know Each Other" Event. This
Can And Will Save You Time, Energy And Confusion.

But There's More To It Than Just This....

THE DANGER OF THE "INSTANT CONNECTION"

When You Start Talking To A Man Online It's Easy To Get Addicted To
The Feeling Of Emotional Connection When You "Click" With Him And
You're Both Sharing Personal, Intimate Things About Yourselves With
Each Other.

For Some Women, Talking To A Man Online Can Be The Only Recent
Experience Of Dating Someone Their Own Age And Feeling Comfortable
With It. Becareful Here. Don't Make The Mistake Of Thinking That You
Ability To Share And Connect Will Translate Well When You Meet In
Person. He May Not Act Or Talk The Same Way That He Writes. You May
Not Feel As Comfortable With Him In Person As You Do Online, Or Feel
The Same Chemistry.

HOW TO STAND OUT AND BE UNIQUELY ATTRACTIVE:

When You're Moving Through The Steps Of Getting To Know A Man Online,
You Want To Communicate That You're Having Fun And Enjoying Yourself,
Without Pushing Toward The Next Step. If A Man Is Interested, He'll Be
Asking For Your Number Or Working Toward Setting Up A First Date.

You Want To Avoid Asking Him If He's Open To Having A Relationship
With You (He Isn't Thinking That Yet), Or Trying To Get Him To Approve
Of The Way You Look Or The Type Of Woman That You Are.

One Of The Most Common And Unattractive Things That Men Experience
Over And Over Online And In Their Dating Life Are Women Who Are
Constantly Seeking Approval Or Jumping Into "Relationship Mode" Too
Quickly. If You Want To Be Uniquely Attractive, It's Important To
Avoid Doing Thisඅ

ARE YOU SETTLING?

If You Find Yourself Focusing On What's Missing In Your Relationship,
Struggle Constantly With Wishing Your Partner Were Different, And Feel
Pressured To Change Who You Are Because It Makes Things Run Smoothly,
You Could Be Settling For A Partner Who Is, Simply Put, Not A Great
Match For You. In Healthy, Happy And Lasting Relationships There Are
Significant Similarities That Both Partners Share, And Without
Aligning Relatively Well In These Areas, Most Relationships Are Headed
For Undue Hardship And Unhappiness•
The Key To Dating Well Is To Know Yourself And Your Partner Deeply
Enough To Be Able To Accurately Observe The Ways That You Interact
From The Beginning Stages Of The Relationship's Development. The
Feeling Of New Love Is Like Nothing Else, But If You Are Completely
Swept Away In Emotion To The Point That You Are Ignoring Obvious
Incompatibilities, You Might Find That Months And Maybe Even Years
Down The Road That You Feel "CHEATED" In Your Relationship. By
Ignoring The Following Seven Similarities You Could Be Missing Out On
A Much More Satisfying And Happy Relationship•
1අ SPIRITUAL HARMONY:
Although Not Always Referring To Religious Affiliation, Spiritual
Harmony Refers To A Shared Perception Of God Or A Higher Power As Well
As How Much Weight Spiritual Belief Weighs In On Your Life. It Is
About The Relationship Of Spirituality In Your Life. If You Are
Religious Or Very Spiritual And Your Partner Has A Very Low Level,
There May Be Problems, Especially If Marriage And Children Follow•
2අ DESIRE FOR VERBAL INTIMACY AND ABILITY TO BE INTIMATE:
Intimacy Is What Romantic Relationships Are All About-Emotional
Intimacy, Mental Intimacy, Physical Intimacy, And For Many Spiritual
Intimacy. A Committed, Monogamous Relationship Is A Special Union In
Which You Can Share The Most Intimate Sides Of Yourself And So Can
Your Partner With You. As Part Of Sharing This Intimacy, There Are
Three Key Factors: The Ability To Express, And The Ability To Listen
Well. Beyond Those Skills, Both Partners Must Have Mutual Desire To
Get To Know The Other On All Of These Levels. LOVE Is A Total Package,
And One That Must Be Wanted Equally By Both Parties•
3අ ENERGY LEVEL:
The Energy Level Of A Person May Sound Like Something Simple, But It
Can Affect Many Things About A Person, Including Other Key
Similarities Partners Should Share Such As Ambition Level, Interests
And Personal Habits. If The Disposition Of Your Partner Is More
Low-Key And Your Disposition Is All About High Energy Wave Making, You
CaN Be Sure That There Will Be Future Problems To Contend With-You'll
Want To Go, Go, Go, And Your Partner Will Feel Pressured And May Even
Pressure You To Slow Down, Down, Down•
4අ AMBITION LEVEL:
Differences In Ambition Levels Can Wreak Havoc In Relationships
Because Work And Achievement Is Such A Large Part Of Our Culture, And
Work In Most Cases Is Necessary For Survival. Those Who Are Highly
Goal-Driven Will Have A Hard Time Understanding Why Their Partner
Seems To Be "Aimless" Or Is Not Interested In Accomplishing Anything,
When To Their Partner, They May Seem Like They Never Take Time To Stop
And Simply Enjoy Life For What It Is. And Yet, Life For What It Is To
The Ambitious Is Work And Achievement. Therefore, Ambition Level Is
Best When Relatively Similar•
5අ ROLE EXPECTATION:
Not Just About Traditional Roles Of Who Stays Home And Who Works, Role
Expectations Can Involve Everything From Who Does Particular Household
Tasks Such As Shopping And Taking Out The Trash To Who Pays On A Date
To How A Person Should Dress. Role Expectations Should Be Similar And
Compatible. It Is Not So Important What The Roles Chosen Are, But That
Both PartnerS Enjoy And Are Happy With Mutual Expectations That
Partners Have For Each Other•

6අ INTERESTS:

Relationships Are Built On Love, Attraction, Compatibility And A
History Of Shared Experiences. Interests Help To Create Those Shared
Experiences That Become Memories Of Happy Moments Spent Together.
Looking Back, Participating In Particular Interests Becomes Evidence
Of The Good Times And Love That You Have Shared. While All Interests
Do Not Have To Be The Same, And Partners Can Introduce Really
Enjoyable Independent Interests, The Major Ones Should Be Relatively
Similar. If Your Idea Of A Saturday Involves A Beach Chair And A Great
New Bestselling Book, But Your Partner Is More Into Hiking, Biking And
Rock Climbing On His Days Off, Or Your Partner's Idea Of Riveting
Entertainment Is Rental Movies And Take Out On A Saturday Night But
You're Already Dressed And Ready To Go Out To Paint The Town Red, You
May Want To Reconsider Whether Your Interest Aligns Enough For A
Long-Term Relationship•

7අ PERSONAL HABITS:

Personal Habit Are Often Overlooked During The "Honeymoon Stage" Of
Any Relationship. In Fact, Even Some Of The Most Off-Putting Habits
Later Declared As Near-Deal-Breakers Are Even Regarded As "CUTE" Or
Endearing. Whether Or Not Your Partner Is On Time Or Runs Chronically
Late, Is Clean Or Messy, Is Responsible Financially Or Plays Things
More "Loose"- All These Personal Habits Come Into Play. Additionally,
Habits Like Weight Management Or Fitness Activity Level Are Equally
Important. There May Be Other Personal Habits That Particularly
Resonate With You As Being Unacceptable-Make Sure You Watch Out For
Them Agree To Come To Terms With Them; Most Times Habits Are Hard To
Break And Even Harder When They're Not Likely To CHANGE•

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

So The Last Guy You Dated Turned Out To Be A Self-Centered Jerk Who
Ended Up Cheating On You While You Were Making Plans To Move In With
Him As A Prelude To Marriage. This Time You Are Not Going To Settle
For Less, And The Good News Is That The Guy You Just Started Dating
Has Everything You're Looking For:

1• Nice Guy. Check.
2• Well Built. Check.
3• Intelligent. Check.
4• Successful. Check.
5• Good Looking. Check.
6• Age Appropriate. Check.
7• Religiously Compatible. Check.
8• Wants To Get Married And Have Kids. Check.

After A Three-Week Courtship, He Even Asks You To Be His Girlfriend
And Says He Wants To Have A Committed And Monogamous Relationship With
You. Fantastic! You Say Yes Amid High Hopes That He Could Be The One
You've Been Looking For, The One With Whom You Can Finally Settle
Down.

And There You Are The Following Weekend, Sitting Next To Him On His
Couch The Entire Day Watching Football With His Friends Before Going
Out On The Boat To Be Surrounded By A Large Group Of People.

Yawn.

What Happened?

What Happened Is That You Were So Eager To Find Someone- And SO
Focused On The External Checlist- That You Forgot Some Important
Items:

1• Emotionally Available.
2• Wants To Spend Time Alone With You.
3• Enjoys One-On-One Conversations.

The First Item Is A Reccuring Theme In All My Columns And I Could
Write A Whole Book About It (Actually, I Did). But The Last Two Are
Just As Important And Not As Obvious. And All Three Of Them Boil Down
To Whether This IS A Person Who Even Knows How To Have A Deeper
Relationship.

You Might Ask Yourself The Same Questions. Are You Emotionally
Available? Do You Want To Spend Time Alone With Your Partner? Are You
Comfortable With One-On-One Conversation?

Bottom Line Is That You Need To Be Careful What You Wish For.

Put Another Way, Make Sure You're Precise Enough When You Put Your
Order In With The Universe. Because The Universe Is Very Literal And
Has A Very Ironic Sense Of Humour.

You May Just Get All The Qualities You Asked For. And None Of The Ones
You Didn't.

Have You Thought About What's Most Important To You In A Partner?

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR JEALOUSY HAVE GONE TOO FAR?

<@>Greatmindz<@>™
Jealousy Will Make You Crazy. When You Are In Its Grip The Feeling Is
Almost Unbearable. It Can Make You Physically Sick And Unable To Focus
On Anything Else. Jealousy Will Compel You To Do Things You Will Later
Regret And You Can Never Take Back. Jealousy Can Single Handedly
Destroy A Good Relationship•
If You Have A Boyfriend Or Husband That Openly Flirts With Other Women
Or Whom You Know Is Cheating, You Would Have To Be Made Of Stone Not
To Feel Hurt And Betrayed. Here Jealousy Is A Natural Response. But
When Jealousy Is Self-Created, Unrelated To Reality, It Acts Like A
Poison That Takes Over Your Life AND Destroys Your Self-Esteem. The
Jealousy I'm Refering To Is Based On Fear, Not On Fact, A Green
Monster That You Create Out Of Your Own Imagination•
I Have Worked With Many Women Who Make Excuses For Their Jealous
Behaviour. They Try To Justify The Actions They Take When They Spy On
Their Men As If They Are Not Responsible For Their Jealousy. But The
Truth Is Jealousy Feels Bad. It Is Unattractive And Kills The LOVE In
A Relationship.
HAS YOUR JEALOUSY GONE TOO FAR?
It Has If:
1• You Find Yourself Constantly Checking Up On Your Man's Facebook Or
Twitter Page.
2• You Can't Stop Yourself From Checking His Call History And
Listening To His Phone Messages Behind His Back
3• You Constantly Call Or Text Him During The Day Just To Find Out Where He Is.
If You Said Yes To Even One Of These Questions, You Are In Trouble.
When You Start Messing Around In Your Man's Personal Business, You
Have Lost Control Of Your Dignity And Your Pride. Your Relationship
Now Lacks One Of The Most Important Qualities It Needs To Thrive
Trust. Even If He Gives You A Reason To Be Suspicious, You Are Still
Responsible For How You Behave In The Relationship.
So What Can You Do To Get Rid Of The Jealousy That Is Sucking The
Energy And Happiness Out Of Your Life? yOU Have To Attack Jealousy At
Its Root. Jealousy Is About How You Feel About You More Than How Your
Man Feels About You. If You Find Yourself Obsessing On His Life And
What He's Doing It's A Sure Sign You Are Not Paying Attention To Your
Own.

If You Think Your Man Is More Interested In Other Women Than He Is In
You, It Can Mean You Think They Are More Worthy Of His Interest Than
You Are. If You Are Attracted To Your Man, You Will Believe That Other
Women Are As Well And That Can Be Scary, Especially If You Doubt Your
Own Value. You Can Find Yourself In A Downward Spiral Where It Seems
Every Other Woman Is More Attractive And More Interesting Than You
Are. By This Time You Have Lost Yourself.

SO HOW DO YOU CHANGE YOUR IRRATIONAL FEELINGS OF JEALOUSY?

You Have To Take Your Eyes Off Him And Start To Work On You. It's
Important That You Face The Challenge Of Taking Control Of Yourself
Before It Destroys Your Chance For Love.

Take Positive Actions That Will Increase Your Feelings Of Self-Worth.
The Only Way To Feel Good About You Is By Doing Things That Make You
Feel Proud; That Bring You Self-Respect. That Is The Exact Opposite Of
What You Have Been Doing. It Feels Terrible To Snoop And Sneak Into
Someone Else's Life. Negative Actions Bring With Them Negative
Emotions, So You End Up Feeling Guilt, Remorse And Shame•

Your Feeling About Your Man Will Always Be A Reflection Of How You
Feel About You. IF You Don't Trust Yourself You Can't Trust The Man In
Your Life If You Cannot Love Yourself, You Will Not Believe That You
Are Loved.

Pay Attention To What You Need To Do To Make Your Life More Fulfilling
And Satisfying And Start Doing It. You Will Find Your Mind Now
Occupied With Good Thoughts About You And Your Value As A Woman. You
Will See Things More Dearly And Invite Into Your Life A New Sense Of
Well Being And Confidence. As You Begin To Trust Yourself You Will Be
Creating Your Own Sense Of Emotional Security That Nothing Can Shake.
Your Jealousy Will Dissipate And You Will Be Able To Love From A Much
Deeper And More Trusting Place•

JEALOUSY In Romance Is Like Salt In Food. A Little Can Enhance The
Savour, But Too Much Can Spoil The Pleasure And, Under Certain
Circumstances, Can Be Life-Threatening•

LADIES: DO YOU INTIMIDATE MEN?

As A Dating Expert In The Community Full Of Sharp, Successful,
Powerful Women, I Often Hear The Line, "Men Are Intimidated By Me"
When I Hear This, I Listen Patiently And Empathetically And Then, When
The Time Is Right, I Explain That It's Just Not True. I Speak With Men
Every Single Day, And Have The Inside Scoop- The 411 On How Men Really
Feel.

Men Are Not Intimidated By Your Success Ladies. They Love That You Are
Successful. In Fact, They Admire Your Ambition AND Accomplishments.
What They Don't Like Is The Masculine Energy You Literally Bring To
The Dinner Table. What Men Want Most, What They Ask Me For When I Find
Them Matches, Is A Feminine, Nurturing, Kind, Caring, Easy-Going
Woman.

They Don't Care What College You Graduated From. They Don't Care How
Many Degrees You Have, How Much Money You Make Or If You Can Change
Your Own Tire.

I Often Stump On My Coaching Clients With The Following Question.
"What Is The Number One Thing That Will Make A Man Want To See You
Again?" The Answer: "It's The Way You Make Him Feel." Men Are Simple
And Straightforward. What They Want Most Of All Is To Feel Like MEN.

Inside Every Female Top-Notch Attorney, Investment Banker And CEO Is A
Soft Gooey Center- You're A Woman After All. So Get In Touch With Your
Softer Side, And Bring Your Feminine Energy To The Dinner Table.

HERE ARE 10 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO LET YOUR FEMININE ENERGY SHINE ON A DATE:

1• Go Home After Work And Change Into Something Feminine. Then Go On
Your Date. Don't Wear Your Work Clothes.

2• Dress Like A Girl- Wear Light Makeup, Soft Colours, A Skirt Or
Dress And Heels.

3• Let The Man Pick The Restaurant (Even If It's Not Your Favourite).

4• Don't Be Argumentative When You Disagree With Something He Says-
Agree To Disagree And Be A Good Listener.

5• Don't Talk About Work On Your Date.

6• Let Him Lead (Order For You, Open Doors, Hail The Cab, E.t.c)

7• Let Your Guard Down. Be Warm, Genuine- Be Yourself.

8• Smile

9• Be Appreciative. Thank Him For Choosing Such An Excellent
Restaurant And For Planning A Wonderful Evening. Let Him Know He Did A
Good Job And That You Had A Really Nice Time•

10• Don't Send A Thank You Email, Text Or Call Him After The Date. Let
Him Pursue You. If He's Interested, You'll Hear From Him- And Soon•

DOES PRESSING OR SUCKING MAKE BREAST LOOSE OR INCREASE SIZE?

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

The Breasts Does Not Have Any Muscles Inside. Where It Is Attached To
Your Body There Are Muscles That Support It. It Consists Of Fatty
Tissue, Contained By Your Skin That Forms A Natural 'Bra'. Massaging
The Fatty Tissue Does Not Make It 'Loose' Or Bigger. The Things That
Does That Are:

අ AGING (Getting Older). The Skin Becomes Less Elastic And Will Stretch.

අ Not Watching Your Weight So That Your Breast Increase In Size, Then
Shrink When You Diet, Repeatedly.

අ Pregnancy

අ Exercising Without The Proper Support That Will Cause Your Skin To Stretch.

To Damage Your Breasts During Sexual Play, It Will Have To Be Squeezed
Hard Enough To Leave It Purple And Blue From The Bruises.

When You Get Sexually Aroused, Your Breasts Swell Up With Blood
Flowing In. Sometimes By More Than A Cup Size. That Is Why It Feels So
Good To Take Your Bra Off And Having Your Breasts Squeezed And
Caressed When You Are Aroused.

To Protect Your Breasts, Wear A Good Fitting Bra, Keep Your Weight In
Check, Wear A Sports Bra When Exercising, Moisturizer Your Skin And
Keep Fit. Do Not Worry About The But Of Squeezing, Caressing And
Sucking During Foreplay•

The Other Times Your Breasts Can Fill Out A Bit Is During Ovulation,
During Menstruation, During Pregnancy And Sometimes When You Take
Birth Control Hormones• However, 'SMOKING' Can Cause Sagging Breast,
Because The Tobacco Smoke Contains Free Radicals That Damage Skin
Cells, Causing Them To Lose Elasticity. This Can Lead To More Facial
Wrinkles And Sagging Breasts•

If You Do Have Any Questions Regarding This Article, Please Drop Them
In The Comment Section•

5 REASON SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

You're Clicking, Compatible, And All Signs Are Pointing To The Fact
That Yes, This Girl Is Really Into You. There's Just One Thing. She
Hadn't Been Intimate With You. And You Don't Exactly Want To Broach
The Subject Of "If And When" For Fear Of Turning Her Off Completely.
So What Gives?

The Following Are Five Possible Reasons Your Love Interest Has Yet To
Give You The Green Light. Once You Understand What May Be Going On In
Her Head, You'll Also Understand Where The Relationship Stands And
Whether It's The Long-Term Match That You're Looking For•

1අ SHE'S STILL DECIDING HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT YOU:

Your Girlfriend's Decision To Hold Off On Getting Intimate With You
May Be As Simple As She's Still Figuring Out How She Feels About You.
Sure, She Knows She Likes You. But For Women, It's Not Enough To Just
Like A Guy. Because The Fairer Sex Equates Physical Intimacy With
Emotional Connection, She May Still Be Deciding How Much She Likes
You, And If You're Worthy Of Jumping Into Deeper Emotional Waters
With. Give Her The Benefit Of The Doubt By Allowing Her More Time To
Get To Know The Real You. Once She Does, She May Suprise You With An
Intimate Invitation In The Near Future•

2අ SHE'S NOT SURE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER:

Maybe Your Girl Has Already Decided That She Digs You, But Hasn't
Quite Figured Out Your Feelings For Her. And Before A Woman Decides To
Get That Close With Someone New, She Wants To Be Reasonably Certain
About His Intentions. If She's Unsure Of Your Interest Level,
Concerned About You Ability To Be Monogamous, Or In Any Way Has Doubts
Regarding Where Your Relationship Is Going, She's Going To Hold Off On
Becoming Intimate. It's Up To You To Be Honest About Your Interest And
Intentions. Giving Her The Opportunity To Decide Her Next Move. And If
You're Not On The Same Page? Better To Know It Now. That Way, You
Avoid Hurt Feelings And Possibly A Very Messy Breakup•

3අ SHE WANTS TO TAKE IT SLOW:

The Clue To Your Sexual Future May Lie In Your Girlfriend's Past
Relationships? If So, Has She Revealed A Former Flame That Fizzled
Bitterly? If Not, This May Just Be The Reason She's Pumping The Brakes
On Pursuing A Passionate Liaison With You. Oftentimes After A Bad
Breakup Or Bitter Betrayal, Your Girl Will Feel A Little Gun Shy. Not
Wanting To Get Burned Again, She May Need To Take Things Slow. And
That's Okay. In Fact, It's Pretty Smart. After All, Sex Is Not Just
Emotionally Risky. If You're Not Careful, You Can Expose Yourself To
All Kinds Of Physical Dangers As Well. And Until You Have Had A Very
Frank Chat About Monogamy, Safe Sex, Birth Control And Sexually
Transmitted Diseases, You Should Take Things Slow•

4අ SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE:

Of Course, Her Decision Not To Sleep With You May Not Be Temporary.
Have You Ever Considered That The Woman You're Dating Doesn't Believe
In Sex Before Marriage? While The Idea May Seem Archaic To You,
Abstinence May Be A Choice She Made Long Before She Met You. And No
Matter How Much She Likes You, If She's Waiting Until Marriage To
Become Physically Intimidate, You're Not Going To Change Her Mind.
Don't Even Think About It. So How Do You Know If Your Girl Wants To
Wait Until Marriage? Look For And Listen To The Messages She Sends
When You're Spending Time Together. Does She Talk About The Future,
Her Religious Faith, And/Or Her Values And Morals? When You Kiss Her,
Does She Respond Passionately, Or Keep You At Arm's Length? These Are
Just A Few Potential Signs That'll Help You See Where She Stands On
The Issue Of Sex Before Marriage. To Know For Sure, You Should
Probably Just Ask•

5අ SHE'S SEEING OTHER PEOPLE:

There's Also A Possibility That The Girl You're Seeing Is Still Seeing
Other People, And Until She Decides To Get Exclusive With You, She's
Not Going To Sleep With You Maybe You're Still Seeing Other People,
Too. Have You Had A Conversation About Exclusivity? If Not, Are You
Ready To? By Getting Clear About Where You Stand With One Another,
You'll Have A Better Idea About If And When You'll Both Be Ready To
Consummate Your Relationship. This May Be A Difficult Subject To
Broach, But Again, It's An Essential One To Have Before Becoming
Intimate. Without Knowing Your Partner's Sexual Past Possible Present,
There's No Way To Ensure A Safe Emotional And Physical Future For
Either One Of You. And If You Both Decide To Take Your Relationship To
The Next Level, You Owe It To Each Other To Know Exactly Where You
Stand Before Doing So•

In Reviewing The Five Possible Reasons Your Love Interest Is Not
Sleeping With You, Did One Particular Point Stand Out? If So, You MAY
Have The Answer You've Been Searching For. Regardless SUCCESS Lies In
Open And Honest Communication. Do Both Of You A Favour By Talking
About Where You Stand, What Your Intentions Are, And Then Together,
Discuss If You Are Both Serious Enough And Ready To Take It To The
Next LEVEL•

FEAR OF INTIMACY: A RELATIONSHIP ROADBLOCK

Anyone Who Has Been Around The Block A Time Or Two Would Agree: Dating
Is Definitely Not For Cowards.
It Takes A Lot Of Courage To Turn The Spotlight On Yourself-In Public,
No Less- And Let Another Person Take A Good Long Look At You. Who
Wouldn't Squirm, At Least A Little, Under Such Scrutiny? But Some
People Feel More Than The Usual Amounts Of Stress When In The Romantic
Hot Seat. They Have A Genuine Fear Of Intimacy, A Powerful Dislike For
Letting Anyone Get Close Enough To See Them Clearly And Know Them
Well. A Fear Of Intimacy Places Strict Limits On A Relationship Right
From The Start•

There Are Lots Of Reasons For People To Keep Their Guard Up:

1අ FEAR OF INTIMACY MASKS A LACK OF CONFIDENCE:

People Like This Are Convinced That To Be Seen As They Really Are
Virtually Guarantees Swift Rejection. They Are Sure They Aren't
Attractive Or Interesting Or Worthy Of Attention. They Just Know A New
Romantic Partner Will Feel That Way Too. To Them, Intimacy Is
Synonymous With Pain•

2අ FEAR OF INTIMACY MASKS HIDDEN WOUNDS:

Past Romantic Disasters May Have Contributed To This Lack Of
Confidence. Some People Take Longer Than Others To Get Back In The
Saddle After Being Unceremoniously Dumped. But An Inability To Open Up
May Also Stem From Deeper, More Serious Wounds. For Instance, A Victim
Of Domestic Violence Or Childhood Abuse May Experience A Visceral
Aversion To Closeness With Others That Is Difficult To Overcome•

3අ FEAR OF INTIMACY MASKS HIDDEN SECRETS:

The Truth Is, People Who Are "Guarded" May, In Fact, Be Guarding
Something They Feel Is Shameful Or Dangerous. It Could Take A Long
Time To Earn Their Trust- And You Might Eventually Be Sorry You Did.

So How Can You Tell The Difference Between A Person With Ordinary
Dating Jitters And Someone Who May Never Give You A Look At His Or Her
Inner Thoughts And Feelings? Here Are Three Common Defense Mechanisms
To Watch For:

අ CONSTANT MOTION, CONSTANT CROWDS:

The Last Thing This Person Wants Is To Be Still And Alone With You- A
Breeding Ground For Uncomfortable Conversation And Probing Questions.
Instead, She Will Fill Your Time Together With Activity And "Busyness"
; He/She Will Consistently Invite Others To "Tag Along."

අ A SARCASTIC SENSE OF HUMOUR:

There Is A Reason We Sometimes Say A Person Has A "Rapier Wit." Biting
Humour Is As Defensive As A Drawn Sword. Comments That Slice Are A
Great Way To Keep People At Arm's Length, Especially Those Who
Genuinely Want To Come Closer•

අ PREEMPTIVE SEX:

At First Glance, This Point May Seem Counterintuitive. After All, How
Could A Person With A Fear Of Intimacy Have A Casual Attitude About
SEX, The Most Intimate Act Of All? Remember, We Are Talking About
People Who Are Afraid Of Emotional Closeness. What Better Way To Jump
Right OVER All That Terrifying Pillow Talk Than To Treat SEX As The
Only Point?

Recognizing The Telltale Signs That You Or Partner Suffers From A
Genuine Fear Of Intimacy Is The First Step Toward Patiently Overcoming
It•

CHECK OUT OLAMIDE'S NEW ALBUM COVER

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

Olamide Has Unveiled The Cover Of His Highly Anticipated New Album
Titled "Baddest Guy Ever Liveth" Which Will Drop Sometime In November.
What Do You Think Of The Cover?

HOW MANY DATES BEFORE YOU DECIDE IT'S NOT A MATCH?

<@>Greatmindz<@>™
Your Chemistry And Compatibility With Another Can Be Completely
Determined. But Here At GREATMINDZ, I've Outlined A Few Important
Things To Consider Before Deciding To Either Go For It Or Break It
Off•

1අ PUT YOUR DEAL BREAKERS ON HOLD:

For The First Date, Try To Put Your Nagging List Of Usual Deal
Breakers Aside And Get To Know Your Date With An Open Mind. Once
You've Gotten That Initial Impression, Use The Second Date To
Gradually Ease Into Your Deal Breaker Evaluation. Remember, Both Of
You May Be Nervous; And If He Refers To His Dogs As "His Children,"
Keep An Open Mind Before Deciding That His Love Of Dogs Is Weird•

2අ DON'T DISMISS THEM AFTER ONE DATE:

Unless You Have A Legitimately Terrible Time On Your Date, Be Open To
Giving Your Prospect A Second Shot Before Making Any Concrete
Decisions. Would You Want Everyone You Meet To Make Snap Decisions
About YOU Solely On Their First Impressions?

3අ PAY ATTENTION TO HOW YOU FEEL WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM:

With All Of This Thinking Going On, There Are Going To Be Times When
You Need To Let Go Of All The Analyzing And Just Focus On Your Date.
But If Your Mind Involuntarily Wanders As He/She Is Talking To You, Or
You Find Yourself Not Enjoying Activities With Them That You Normally
Love, They May Not Be A Match. Focus On The Experience Itself. Let Go
Of "Destination Thinking" And Instead View The Date As One Step On
Your Journey Toward Love And Partnership•

4අ HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU'RE NOT WITH THEM?

Time Spent Apart Is Just As Revealing As Time Alone, So Be Aware Of
Your Initial Feeling When They Send You A Text Or Suggest Getting
Together. Also, Pay Attention To How You Talk To Your Friends About
Your New Date (Or If You're Even Talking About Him/Her At All!). All
These Interactions While You're Apart Are Subconscious Indicators Of
How You're Really Feeling•

5අ TRUST YOUR GUT:

When All Is Said And Done, Your Intuition About A Person Is Usually
Right, If You've Been On Two Or Three Dates And Still Really Aren't
Feeling A Romantic Connection, It's Most Likely Simply Not There. Go
With Your Gut And Move On To Someone Who Can Provide You With
Something Lasting•

6අ ONCE YOU KNOW, DON'T WASTE ANY TIME:

No One Relishes Initiating Anything Remotely Close To A Breakup, But
Many Of Us Have Wound Up In Drawn Out, Grey Area Relationships Because
We've Avoided Having Those Conversations. If You Feel Fairly Sure
After A Couple Of Dates That This Isn't Someone You Want To Pursue A
Relationship With, You Need To Let Them Know. It's Entirely Possible
That The Feeling Is Mutual; But If They Are Still Pursuing You, Find A
Gentle And Kind Way To Express That You Just Aren't Feeling A Romantic
Connection. It May Be Uncomfortable, But Ultimately It Will Save Both
Of You Time And Free You Both To Find That Person IR A Great Match!

THE TOP FIVE REASONS YOU SAY YOU ARE SINGLE

<@>Greatmindz<@>™
With Some People, It Almost Seems Like An Addiction: They Can't Stop
Making Excuses About Why They're Single. As A Relationship Therapist,
I Hear Some Pretty Wild Reasons, Too, But They All Remain Largely
Inaccurate. If You Are Someone - Man Or Woman- Who Makes Any Of The
Following Statements, It's Fair To Say That You Are Blamming Your
Singleness On The Wrong Factors. In Fact, The Savviest Thing You Can
Do Is To Accept That You're Single For Reasons That Are Totally Within
Your Control•

1අ THERE'S NO ONE TO DATE:

Now, Let's Be Honest For A Moment: Sometimes It Really Does Seem Like
A Lot Of The Good Ones Are Unavailable. For Most Men And Women, It's
Not Statistics That Keep Them Single- It's Making Excuses. Open Your
Eyes To The Romantic Choices Around You!

2අ ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE ALREADY MARRIED

Simply Put, This One Just Isn't True. Think About Who You're
Socializing With And The Kinds Of Places You Go. What You Need To Do
Is To Join Some Organizations Where Single People Congregate. The More
People You Meet, The More Connections You'll Make That Could Lead You
To Your Future Partner•

3අ I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT BEFORE I MEET SOMEONE:

Blamming Your Singleness On Your Weight Is Common- But Not So
Legitimate. Perhaps You've Gained A Few Extra Pounds Or Have Ways To
Go Until You Get Back To Your Goal Weight. It's Too Easy To Postpone
Dating Because You're Not Happy With Your Weight- You Gotta Fight
Those Inner Demons! Listen, What Are The Chances You're Ever Going To
Truly Love Your Body? Not That Great Right? SO Don't Put Off Finding
Someone•

You May Be Hard On Yourself And Set High Standards In Terms Of Your
Appearance And Body, But You Should Be Able To Find And Function Well
In A Romantic Relationship Whether You're Lighter Or Heavier. In All
Likelihood, You Have Created And Ideal In Your Mind Of What You Will
Look Like When You Meet That New Person, But Don't Write The Script
Before The Future Has Even Happened!

4අ I'M JUST TOO BUSY:

Unless You're Sleeping In A New City Every Night, Raising A Handful Of
Toddlers, Or Working So Many Jobs That You Can't Afford A Good Night's
Sleep, You Have Time To Date. You Might Not Love The Idea Of Putting
Yourself Out There And Dating, But Don't Kid Yourself Into Believing
That You Don't Have Time For It. Remember, mAKING Excuses Will Never
Help You Achieve A Goal. Perhaps You Don't Have Two Or Three Nights
Each Week To Allocate Toward Dating. But You Can Probably Find A Few
Hours Here And There. Time Management Is Critical When You're Busy, So
Consider Making A List Of All Your Daily Activities For The Week And
Try To Determine Where You Could Make More Efficient Use Of Your Time.
It Might Help To Set Aside One Part Of The Week-Say, Saturday
Afternoon- For New Dates, Thus Reserving The More Sacred Weekend
Evenings For Your Inner Circle•

5අ I ONLY MEET PEOPLE I LIKE ON VACATION:

POP QUIZ: What Does It Mean Psychologically If A Person Only Meets
People He Or She Likes When He Or She Is Out Of Town For Vacation Or
Work? If You're Someone Who Tells Yourself That All The Good Ones Just
Happen To Live In Every Other City Or Town Except The One Where You
Live, The Likelihood Is That You're Conflicted About Whether You
Really Want To Commit And Settle Down. In General, Men And Women Who
Always Find The One When They're Out Of Town Like The Idea Of Having
Someone, But The Day To Day Realities Of A Romantic Relationship At
Home Are Stressful For Any Number Of Reasons: You're Still Hurt From
Previous Relationship; You Aren't Sure You Want Someone Depending On
You; Or You Get Bored Easily. Think Long And Hard About What I Call
Your "Geographic Distortion."

The Only Way To Solve A Problem- In This Case, Wanting To Find A Happy
Relationship- Is To Start With Honesty. The Most COmmon Problem
Solving Style I See In My Therapy Work Is The Tendency In Men And
Women To Approach One Problem At A Time. My Response? No Sale! Though
It May Feel More Manageable To Attack One Problem At A Time, Coping
Well As An Adult Requires That You Do A Little Bit Toward A Bunch Of
Goals, All At The Same Time. Set Several Small Goals That Focus On
Your Romantic Life, Such As, Joining A New Gym, Starting An Exercise
Class, Volunteering For A Charity, And Taking A Class At A Local Art
Center. Opening Up Your Social Environment Can Help You Get Back Any
Mojo That You May Have Lost Along The Way, And These Activities Will
Take You Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Bring A Little Spice Back Into
Your Life!

Have You Ever Used Any Of These Excuses? Would Love To Hear About The
Reasons You Believe You Are Singleඅන්තර්ජාලය

LOOK INSIDE

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

Some People Believe The Reason They're Suffering Or Poor Is Because Of
The Kind Of Work They Do. That's Not True! The Problem Isn't In The
Kind Of Work They Do; Rather It's In Their Minds. Many Of Them Think
Their Success In Life Is Hinged On Making Money Through Hardwork, So
They Struggle Till They Get Frustrated•

When I Was Much Younger, I Knew I Would Never Be Poor. Not Just
Because Of What I Knew From The Word Of God, But Because There Were
Certain Things I Had Learnt To Do Properly: I Could Carve Out Creative
And Fashionable Designs Just By Sitting Down And Imagining Things, I
Could Draft And Structure Business Plans And Ideas That Were Of Great
Benefit To Others Who Were In Business, Even At A Very Tender Age, I
Could Wash Cars, Sew Clothes, And Make Hair And Also Effect Mechanical
And Electrical Repairs, Just By Watching My Parents Do Certain Things
In The House, And Also In Their Various Fields And Career. I Followed
Up Thoroughly Knowing If I Wanted To Choose Any Of The Above Field And
Career, I Would Be One Of The Best, If Not The BEST At It•

You Have The Capacity For Great Ideas, Therefore Look Inside You For
Them. Those Ideas, If Properly Harnessed, Are More Valuable Than
Money. If You Nurse Your Ideas Long Enough And Discipline Yourself In
Their Direction, You'll Become Very Good At What You Do After A While
And Money Will Eventually Come To You, For Money Is A SLAVE Of IDEAS•

Your Success, Prosperity And Greatness Are Not Determined By Your
Geographical Location Or By The Economy Of The Nation Where You
Function. Rather, Your Mind Is What Determines What You Become, For
With Your Mind You Can Change Everything Else. You Can Change The
State Of Your Nation And The Economy; You Can Change Anything If Only
You'll Have The Right Thoughts In Your Mind.

SHOULD YOU EVER SNOOP ON A PARTNER?

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

Realizing That There Are Many Different Issues Of Infidelity Is Just
About One Of The Most Difficult Circumstances A Couple Can Face.
Despite The Difficulty, Though, There Is A Possibility Of Resolution
When A Couple Is Hopeful About Staying Together, Willing To Forgive
Human Mistakes And Wanting To Move Forward In A More Loving Way•
A Surefire Way To Act Against Your Best Interests Is To "Snoop" Or Spy
On Your Partner If You Suspect Infidelity. Why Doesn't Snooping Work
For Any Relationship? Because It Involves Invading Someone's Privacy
And Breaching Trust. Human Beings Are Territorial. We Want Our Own
Space. When Someones Takes Away What Is Ours, We Usually React
Strongly, Going Into A Defensive Mode•
This Fact Is One Of The Strongest Reasons Why You Should Not Snoop.
Think About It: It Would Be A Useless Cause To Attempt To Get Facts Or
Information By Snooping, Because The Moment You Present The "Evidence"
To Your Partner, He Or She Becomes Aware That There Was A Breach Of
Privacy And Will React Defensively- Wouldn't You? Defensiveness Is
Coming From A "Fight Or Flight" Mentality And Is Not Conducive To
Having A Calm Discussion About What You Have Found Out In Your Private
Eye Session (Be It Negative, Neutral, Positive)•
If You Are Suspecting An Affair, You Can Actually Benefit From
Suggesting An Open Conversation With Your Partner. Here Are Some Tips
To Make It A Beneficial Discussion:

අ Choose A Calm And Safe Place That Both Of You Agree On•

අ Choose A Time When Both Of You Are Calm Enough To Have An Open Conversation•

අ Begin With Expressing Your Concerns And Fears, And Explaining Why
You Feel That Way•

අ State That Your Intention Is Pure Clarification; Don't Accuse•

අ Be Specific About Which Behaviours From Your Partner Made You Feel
Nervous Or Suspicious•

අ Take A Moment To Step Back And Actively Listen To
What Your Partner Has To Say•

අ Reflect Back What You Have Heard And Understood From Your Partner,
So As To Avoid Confusion And Misinterpretation•

අ It Is Extremely Important To Maintain A Calm Stance And Tone Of
Voice So Neither Of You Go Into A Fight Or Flight Zone•

අ If, While Snooping Around, You Do Find Evidence Of Infidelity, Work
Through Your Painful Emotions First Before Discussing Them With Your
Partner. Talk About Your Feelings With A Trusted Friend, Or Perhaps
Your Therapist. It Is Important To Acknowledge What You Are Going
Through, Because It Is In The Acknowledgement That You'll Realize You
Will Be Okay Through The Pain•

අ Emotional Pain Is Not Life Threatening. It Will Subside Eventually,
But You Need To Ride It Out. I'VE Seen A Lot Of Couples Decide To Stay
Together- Even After Infidelity. They Seek Counseling, Work Hard On
Rebuilding Trust And Explore Other Ways Of Relating With Each Other
That Works For Each One Of Them•

There Is Hope In Life's Most Difficult Circumstances. And When It All
Seems Unmanageable, Know That Sometimes You Can Truly Benefit From
Professional And Objective Insights•

What Do You Think- Is Anyone Ever Justified In Snooping?

CONNECTING THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA: THINGS TO CONSIDER

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

As Social Networking Sites Like Facebook And Twitter Become Less Of A
Novelty And Completely Ingrained Into Our Daily Lives, It's Becoming
Increasingly Common For Singles To Meet Through Social Media•

As Easy As It All Sounds, However, Issues Such As Privacy, Safety,
Fear Of Coming On Too Strong, And Sheer Volume Of People Using These
Sites Can Be So Overwhelming That Many Are Deterred From Pursuing It
As A Possible Dating Avenue. Lucky For You, I'm Here With Some Tips To
Help You Navigate Through It All!

1අ STICK TO MUTUAL FRIENDS:

When It Comes To Social Media, Safety Is A Valid Concern. I Mean, Who
Hasn't Squirmed Over One Of Those Awkward "Catfish" Moments When A
Lovestruck Girl/Guy Realizes Who He/She Was REALLY Talking To Online?
To Avoid A Dangerous Or Cringe-Worthy Scenario, I Recommend
Communicating With Someone Who Has At Least One Or Two Mutual Friends•

A Special Guy/Girl May Catch Your Eye Through A Photo, A Funny Link
He/She Posted On Your Friend's Timeline, A Witty Tweet, Or One Of The
Networks Themselves May Just Give You The Nudge You Need. Both
Facebook And Twitter Have Sections That Suggest People To Befriend Or
Follow Based On Your Interests, Location And Network Of Friends•

2අ SHOW YOU LIKE HIM/HER BY "LIKING" HIM/HER:

One Way To Get His/Her Radar (If You're Not Already) Is To Master The
Subtle Art Of "Liking" (Or "Favoriting" On Twitter.) If You're Not
Quite Ready To Put Yourself Out There And Send A Message, Start By
Liking Or Favouriting His/Her Statuses Or Tweets Here And There. If
He/She Tweets A Link To An Article About Something You're Passionate
About, Favouriting The Tweet Will Only Bring Your Name To The Top Of
His/Her Mind But Show That You SHARE An Interest. Just Don't OVERDO
It; Frequently Hitting That Like Button Seconds After His/Her Words
Float Into Cyberspace Can Come Across As OVERBEARING•

3අ START SMALL CONVERSATIONS:

After A Couple Of Well- Placed Likes, It's Time To Start The
Conversation. You Can Begin By Simply Responding To Something He/She
Posted On A Mutual Friend's Comment Thread Or Replying To One Of His
Tweets. A Casual, Thoughtful Response Will Make An Impression And Open
The Door For Interaction•

4අ SEND A MESSAGE:

If You're Getting Good Vibes From Your Interactions Thus Far, It's
Time To Pull The Trigger And Send A Message. The Message Doesn't Have
To Bare All; Simply Sending Him/Her A Link To An Article You Think
He/She'd Be Interested In Or Asking If He/She's Going To A Mutual
Friend's Upcoming Party Will Suffice. The Privacy Of A Message Can Be
All You Need To Get Him To Open Up And Allow The Two Of You To See If
There's A CONNECTION!

Have You Met Anyone Interesting Through Facebook Or Twitter? What Was
The Experience Like And Would You Recommend It?

CAN I GET PREGNANT FROM PRE-CUM?

While It'S Not Likely, It Is Possible. When A Guy Is Aroused, A Clear
Alkaline Liquid-- That'S Considered To Be Sperm Free Is Released To
Lubricate His Urethra (tHE Tube That Carries The Urine And Sperm Out
Of His Body), Preparing It For The Safe Passage Of Sperm When He Does
Infact Ejaculate•

But Any Sperm Left In The Urethra From A Previous Ejaculation Can Mix
With The Secretion. And, If His Little Swimmers Make Their Way Into
Your Vagina, You Can Get Pregnant. You Should Also Know That This
Fluid Can Transmit STDs, Such As HIV And Hepatitis. And, Other
Diseases, Such As Herpes, Can Be Passed Simply By Rubbing Against Each
Other's Genitals•

BOTTOM LINE: Since Exposure To Pre-Ejaculatory Fluid Can Lead To
Pregnancy, Play It Smart And Have Him Use A Condom. If You Add
Water-Based Lube, He'll Learn That Rubbing Against You Will Still Feel
Fabulous•

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN BLUE BALLS AND SEX

Have You Ever Had Someone Ask "What Are Blue Balls?" "Blue Balls" Is A
Slang Term Referring To Testicular Aching That May Occur When The
Blood That Fills The Vessels In Male's Genital Area During Sexual
Arousal Is Not Dissipated By Orgasm•

Blue Balls Are Not Just A Figment Of A Lame Excuse To Try And Get You
In The Sack. Though It Doesn't Happen To All Men, It Is A Very Real
Condition That Results From A Prolonged State Of Sexual Arousal. When
A Guy Is Physically Turned On, Blood Flows To His Penis, Which Is What
Gives Him An Erection, And His Testicles, Causing Them To Swell. If He
Doesn't Ejaculate, There Is A Buildup Of Pressure, And His
Supersensitive Balls Feel The Brunt Of It. The Sensation Can Range
From A Mild Ache To Worse-Than-Getting-Kicked-In-The-Crotch Pain. But
The Bottom Line Is, It's Not Dangerous, And He Can Deal With It,
Whether That Means Giving Himself A Helping Hand Or Just Waiting It
Out. The Blood Will Eventually Drain, And Any Discomfort Will
Disappear On Its Own. In Case You Were Wondering, It's Called Blue
Balls Because The Blood That's Been In The Scrotum For A While Loses
Oxygen And Can Give The Appearance Of A Bluish Tinge-- Although It
Sounds Like Something Guys Came Up With To Express Just How Sad They
Are That They Can't "CUM!" But Its Obviously The TRUTH•

The Condition Usually Does Not Last Long And The Level Of Pain
Associated With Blue Balls Is Usually Minor And Can Be Exaggerated.
Most Men Have Been Socialized To Ejaculate When They Get An Erection
During Sexual Activity. Failure To Ejaculate And Feel Orgasm Often
Adds Frustration And Disappointment To The Reality Of The Physical
Sensation•

Men Who Believe That They Should Ejaculate Every Time They Have An
Erection Are Likely To Exert Pressure On Their Partner To Proceed With
Sex Without Taking Her Feelings Into Consideration•

Some Men Find That Masturbation Is A Viable Solution And Are Realizing
That Ejaculation Is Not A Requirement In Every Sexual Situation. This
Attitude Allows Both Men And Their Partners To Relax More And To Learn
That Pleasure And Meaning Can Exist Without Having To Reach
Ejaculation And Orgasm During Every Sexual Encounter•

Men Are Not Alone In Experiencing The Discomfort Of Unrelieved
Vasocongestion. Women's Genitals Also Become Engorged With Blood
During Sexual Arousal, And Like Their Male Counterparts, Women Can
Experience Pelvic Heaviness And Aching If They Do Not Reach Orgasm•

Feel Free To Share Your Experience With Us, Or Ask Any Questions
Regarding BLUE BALLS•

STOP COMPLAINING AND START PROCLAIMING

All Things Are Functioning Together For Your Good; The Plants, Air,
Electricity And Everything In This Earth. This Simple, Yet Powerful
Thought Will Change Your Life If You Can Only Believe It. There's No
One With A Good Enough Idea To Stop Your Prosperity And Victory. So
You See, It's Impossible For You To Be Disadvantaged If You Live In
This Truth•

The Systems Of This World Are Programmed To Fail, Therefore Ride Above
Them! Don't Play By Their Rules; Employ Kingdom Ideas And Principles
In Your Dealings. It Makes No Difference How Terrible The Economic
Situation May Be, You're Still Not A Victim. Your Prosperity Is Not
Dependent On Government Policies, For The Word Of God Is Greater And
More Powerful Than Any Government• STOP Complaining And Start
Proclaiming What You Desire And Want To See Happen•

God Has Chosen You Out Of This World (John 15:19). Therefore, No
System Of Government Can Work To Your Disadvantage If You Function By
God's Word. The Bible Says, "If Ye Be Willing And Obedient, Ye Shall
Eat The Good Of The Land" (Isaiah 1:19). You Know There's Much Evil In
The Land, But If You Hearken To The Lord's Instructions Only The Good
In The Land Will Be Your Lot•

The God Who Commanded Light To Shine Out Of Darkness (2 Corinthians
4:6) Can Cause You To Prosper In Famine Or Austere Times. He Did It
For Isaac (Genesis 26:1-14), And He Can Do The Same For You. Yes, The
Economic, Political And Social Systems Of Today's World May Be
Defective; But They'll Work For Your GOOD•

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY NIGERIA••• GOD BLESS!!!

~PRESIDENT~

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS GROUP OF COMPANIES Copyright © 2013•

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY NIGERIA BY Exzel Dee Dollar

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY NIGERIA

INDEPENDENCE DAY SPEECH By #ExzelDeeDollar

Its Another Independence Day Celebration For Nigeria And Already
Criticisms And Negative Talks About The Government Not Doing Anything
For The Masses Has Already Began On The Streets And Even On Social
Networks And Media.

I've Often Sat Down To Reflect On The Government And The People, And I
Realized That Folks Who Believe Their Having A Better Life Depends On
The Government Are Yet To Wake Up From Their Slumber. I Refused Long
Ago To Stop Depending On What The Government Can Do For Me, Because I
See Myself Also As A GOVERNMENT. I Mean, The Government Don't Feed Me
And Neither Do They Pay My Bills... They Don't Buy My Clothes And They
Are Not Responsible For My Shelter. So If I Can Do All This Myself
Then Why Lament About The Economy And The Government? It Is Obvious
That The Government Can't Satisfy Everybody.

Have You Ever Thought For Once That If Everybody Was Lamenting And
Waiting For The Government We Wouldn't Have Men Who Have Beaten The
Odds To Become Job Creators, Which Is The Reason We Have A Lot Of
PRIVATE Own Companies That Has Created JOBS For Other People To Earn A
Living?

Am Appalled When I See People Laise About, And Blame Their Situation
On The Government. I've Often Advice People To Be The CHANGE They
Seek, And Stop Waiting For The Government To Change Or Help Change
Their Situation For The Better.

I've Always Been Of The Opinion That Their Are People Whom Their
Destiny Is Tied To Mine, That If I Don't Make It, No Government Would
Ever Do It For Them.

I've Always Seen Myself As The Government To Thousands Of People, Whom
Through Me Their Families Would Be BLESSED. Imagine If The Likes Of
Carlos Slim, Steve Job, Bill Gates, Aliko Dangote, Mike Adenuga,
Warren Buffet, Donald Trump E.t.c. Imagine If These Men Never Realized
And Maximized Their Potential, Or Were Probably Sitting Somewhere And
Lamenting About How Poor Their Family Were, And How The Government
Wasn't Favourable To Them. Am Sure The World Would Have Been More
Terrible Than It Is• Imagine The Thousands Of People Whom Are
Benefiting From The JObs These Men Have CREATED!

The Truth Is That Their Are Certain People The Government Would
Benefit, And You Might Not Be Part Of Those People Who Would Benefit
From The Government. It Just Might Be That Your Neighbour Next Door
Could Be The Government That Would Help You, Or Your Relative, Or
You'd Help Yourself.

YOU Might Just Be The GOVERNMENT That Boy/Girl Who Has No Home Or
Shelter Is Waiting For, And You Might Just Be The GOVERNMENT That
Man/Woman Who Has No Job Is Waiting For, Or The GOVERNMENT That WIDOW
Is Waiting For•

REALIZE That Some People's Destiny's Are Tied To Yours, And If You
Don't STEP UP , CREATE IT, And MAKE IT, They Wouldn't Make It•

YOU ARE THE GOVERNMENT TO SOMEBODY... So RISE UP And Take The
CHALLENGE And Tell Yourself That YOU ARE CAPABLE, And Through You
Families Would See The Light And Be BLESSED•

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY NIGERIANS... AND A HAPPY NEW MONTH... GOD BLESS!!!

COURTSEY: ~PRESIDENT~

QUESTION AND ANSWERS GROUP OF COMPANIES Copyright © 2013•

PRAISE AND CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

"The More You Praise And Celebrate Your Life, The More There Is In
Life To Celebrate"

The More That You Give Thanks To God, And The More That You Show You
Are Thankful For Being Given A Life To Live To Help Change The World,
The More That You Will Have To Be Thankful For In Life. Also, The
More That You Celebrate The Victories, And Not Only The Victories, But
The Lessons That YoU Are Able To Learn Along The Way From Your
Defeats, The More That You Will Have To Actually Celebrate In Your
Life. We Are All Given What We Are Given. Sure ThERE Are Things In
Life That We Will Eventually Conquer And Take But We Must Learn That
The Most Important Parts Of Our Lives Aren't Necessarily The Victories
For Ourselves. The Most Important Parts In Life Are What We Are Able
To Help Inspire Others To Learn From Our Experiences, Because These
Are The Parts Of Life That Will Help To Influence Generation After
Generation•

CAN RELATIONSHIPS BECOME TOO COMFORTABLE???

<@>Greatmindz<@>™
When You Are First Dating, You Are On Your Best Behaviour. Bad Habits
Are Hidden. You Usually Try To Look Your Best, Act Your Best, Talk
Your Best, And Be Your Best At All Times! You Are Attentive. You Go
Out Of Your Way To Do Small Things For Each Other. And You Certainly
Hide Your "Bad Habits"- Those Things That Your Mum Thought You To
NEVER Do In Public! When You Are First Dating, Your Manners Are
Impeccable. You Wouldn't Dream Of Belching Or Farting In Front Of Each
Other. That Would Be Horribly Embarrassing! You Never Answer Your
iPhone At The Dinner Table. How Rude! You Never Keep Each Other
Waiting. How Disrespectful!
As Your Relationship Progresses, However, You Start To Become More
Comfortable With Each Other, And That, I Argue, Can Be Simultaneously
A Very Good Thing, And A Very Bad Thing. I Love When The Formality
Disappears And The Comfort Level Around Each Other Increases. It
Transitions Relationships To A New Level. But, Can Relationships
Become Too Comfortable? Should Relationships Hang On To Some Of That
Formality, That Level Of Trying To "Impress" Each Other, That Ability
To Always Be On Your Best Behaviour, In Order To Be MOst Successful?

Its Good To Be Yourself Around Your Partner, And Feel Free.
That Being Said, We Are Also Aware That When That Familiarity Turns
From One Of "Comfort And Ease" To One Of "Disregard And Disrespect"
That It's Time To Reassess. It Is When Relationships, Either Dating Or
Marriage, Start To Turn From Comfort To Complacency, That Many Couples
Start To Feel Disconneted, Unappreciated, And Undervalued•

It's A Fine Line! What Do You Think? Are You In That Phase Of
Formality And Best Behaviour? Are You Transitioning To Pleasantly
Comfortable? Or Are You Stuck In That Complacent "Whatever- I Really
Don't Care" Mode? Is It Time To Reassess Your Comfort Level To Ensure
You Haven't Gotten "Too" Comfortable?

IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP COSTING YOU TOO MUCH???

<@>Greatmindz<@>™
Have You Ever Blamed Yourself For Giving Too Much In A Relationship?
If You Have, You've Probably Felt Resentment For Not Getting Back What
You Feel Is Owed For All Your Effort. On Top Of That, If The Partner
You Gave So Much To Has Moved On To Someone Else, It Feels Like That
Other Person Is Now Getting The Benefits That Should Have Gone To You.

Thinking About How You Gave So Much Can Keep You Awake At Night, As
You Beat Yourself Up For Being So Foolish.

But A Better Use Of That Time Would Be To Ask Yourself Why You Let
Yourself Give So Much And Get So Little In Return? What Drove You To
Settle For Crumbs When You Were Feeding Him/Her The Whole Cake? The
Answer Is Simple. You Were In A "Pay As You Go" Relationship.

How Does That Happen? Most Likely Things Started Out Strong And It
Seemed Like He/She Really Cared. But Most Relationships (Unless You're
With "The One") Start To Fizzle And Burn Out And That's When You
Panic. You Start To Feel That It's Up To You To Get That "Loving
Feeling" Back•

You Might Suspect That This Isn't My Mr/Miss Right, But The Fear Of
Being Alone Or Starting Over Again Drives You To Try And Make It Work.
You Get The Crazy Idea That If You Show Him/Her Much Love And How Good
You Can Be, They'll Naturally Respond Back To You In Kind. But It
Doesn't Work That Way; In Fact It's The Opposite•

So How Do You Show Them How You Feel? You Start "To Pay" For Love. For
Example: As A Woman You Do Laundry, Clean The House, Shop And Cook.
And As A Guy You Buy Presents And Treats, Give Money, Or Generally Go
Out Of Your Way To Tend To Their Needs. None Of These Actions Are
Wrong, But It's The Intention Behind Them That Counts. You Put Effort,
Time AnD Money Into Getting Your Partner's Interest Back But You Are
Killing Yourself In The Process. You Pay And Pay And Get Little To
Nothing In Return•

In A Healthy Relationship, Both Partners Have To Give Their All. They
Have To Be 100% Invested. If You're "Paying As You Go" You've Tipped
The Scales And Not In Your Favour. So Ask Yourself If You're Feeling
Resentful That You're "Owed" Something In Your Relationship. If You
Are, It's A Good Indication That The Feelings Between The Two Of You
Are No Longer Mutual. If You Keep "Paying" That Feeling Is Just Going
To Get Stronger And Things Will Get Worse. It's A Signal To Stop
Giving And Pull Back•

If Stopping Causes Him/Her To Step Up And Start Giving Back, The
Balance Is Restored. But If Nothing Changes, It Means You're Still In
A "Pay As You Go" Relationship. It's A Sign That What You Had Is No
More And It's Probably Time To Walk Away•

Have You Been In This Situation? If So, How Did It Work Out?