Have You Ever Blamed Yourself For Giving Too Much In A Relationship?
If You Have, You've Probably Felt Resentment For Not Getting Back What
You Feel Is Owed For All Your Effort. On Top Of That, If The Partner
You Gave So Much To Has Moved On To Someone Else, It Feels Like That
Other Person Is Now Getting The Benefits That Should Have Gone To You.
Thinking About How You Gave So Much Can Keep You Awake At Night, As
You Beat Yourself Up For Being So Foolish.
But A Better Use Of That Time Would Be To Ask Yourself Why You Let
Yourself Give So Much And Get So Little In Return? What Drove You To
Settle For Crumbs When You Were Feeding Him/Her The Whole Cake? The
Answer Is Simple. You Were In A "Pay As You Go" Relationship.
How Does That Happen? Most Likely Things Started Out Strong And It
Seemed Like He/She Really Cared. But Most Relationships (Unless You're
With "The One") Start To Fizzle And Burn Out And That's When You
Panic. You Start To Feel That It's Up To You To Get That "Loving
Feeling" Back•
You Might Suspect That This Isn't My Mr/Miss Right, But The Fear Of
Being Alone Or Starting Over Again Drives You To Try And Make It Work.
You Get The Crazy Idea That If You Show Him/Her Much Love And How Good
You Can Be, They'll Naturally Respond Back To You In Kind. But It
Doesn't Work That Way; In Fact It's The Opposite•
So How Do You Show Them How You Feel? You Start "To Pay" For Love. For
Example: As A Woman You Do Laundry, Clean The House, Shop And Cook.
And As A Guy You Buy Presents And Treats, Give Money, Or Generally Go
Out Of Your Way To Tend To Their Needs. None Of These Actions Are
Wrong, But It's The Intention Behind Them That Counts. You Put Effort,
Time AnD Money Into Getting Your Partner's Interest Back But You Are
Killing Yourself In The Process. You Pay And Pay And Get Little To
Nothing In Return•
In A Healthy Relationship, Both Partners Have To Give Their All. They
Have To Be 100% Invested. If You're "Paying As You Go" You've Tipped
The Scales And Not In Your Favour. So Ask Yourself If You're Feeling
Resentful That You're "Owed" Something In Your Relationship. If You
Are, It's A Good Indication That The Feelings Between The Two Of You
Are No Longer Mutual. If You Keep "Paying" That Feeling Is Just Going
To Get Stronger And Things Will Get Worse. It's A Signal To Stop
Giving And Pull Back•
If Stopping Causes Him/Her To Step Up And Start Giving Back, The
Balance Is Restored. But If Nothing Changes, It Means You're Still In
A "Pay As You Go" Relationship. It's A Sign That What You Had Is No
More And It's Probably Time To Walk Away•
Have You Been In This Situation? If So, How Did It Work Out?
