3 MOST CONTROLLING TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANNA BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH.

Can We All Agree That Being Controlling Is One Of The Most Frustrating Traits A Person Can Have, Especially When It Comes To Dating And Relationships? In All Likelihood, You Have Dealt With At least One Seriously Controlling Individual, Whether It Was A Parent, Friend, Boss, Or Romantic Partner.
Controlling Types Can Actually Be Appealing At First Because They Come Across As Strong And Confident, And We Tend To Be Drawn To Those Traits. But Once You Truly Get To Know Someone Who Is Controlling, This Trait Becomes Extremely Repellant And All You Really Want To Do Is Break Free From This Person's Grip. There Are Three Types Of People Who Tend To Be The Most Controlling, And I Will Review Each One And Share What Makes Them Unique.

¤ THE JEALOUS TYPE:

We Can't Talk About The Controlling Personality Type Without Talking About Its Absolute Worst Offender: The Jealous Guy Or Girl. Jealous Individuals Are Extremely Territorial In Relationships Because They Carry The Underlying Fear That They Will Be Left Or Abandoned If They Don't Hold On Tight Enough. These Types Of Men And Women Tend To Be Highly Emotional And Often Volatile, And It Often Seems As If They Are Looking For A Fight Or Argument.
Sometimes Dating Someone Controlling Gives You The False Sense That They Get Jealous Because They Care And Love You That Much, But What A Misguided Version Of Love That Is! Being Jealous And Controlling Is All About Fear, And It Has Nothing To Do With How Much You Are Liked Or Even Loved.

¤ THE NARCISSISTIC TYPE:

In A Nutshell, Narcissistic Men And Women Are Individuals Who Have A Hugely Inflated Ego (What Therapists Call A Grandiose Sense Of Self). They Crave Being Seen As Superior To Others, And They Are Extremely Focused On Their Image And How Others See Them.
Narcissists Have Little Insight Into Themselves And They Will Rarely Admit When They Are Wrong Because Keeping Up The Superior, Always-Good, Always-Happy Pretense Is The Absolute Priority. Though They Can Be Difficult, Narcissists Can Also Be Charming And Likable, And They Usually Excel At Seducing Others. Sadly, Narcissists Are Extremely Controlling In Relationships.
Above All, Narcissists Want Compliance From Their Partners. They Look For Partners Who Will Conform To What They Want, Which Means That The Partners Of Narcissists Almost Always End Up Feeling Resentful And Unhappy.

¤ THE CODEPENDENT TYPE:

Imagine For A Moment The Couple Who Does Everything Together- They Only Socialize Together, And Are Almost Never Apart From Each Other. With Codependent Couples, If You Get One, You Automatically Get The Other. Codependent Men And Women Often Don't Come Across As Aggressive Or Domineering; They Often Seem Sweet, Easy To Get Along With, And Fun. But Make No Mistake About Codependents: They Are Very Controlling With Each Other, Though They Are Careful To Not Let Most People See Their Anxious, Needy Side. Codependent Men And Women Have A Leash Around Their Partners' Necks, Even Though They Would Never Own Up To Trying To Control Their Partners. An Example: Out With A Group Of Friends Recently, One Especially Codependent Couple Was Trying To Decide What To Do When The Group Was Deciding To Split Up And Go To Different Bars For Cocktails. One Member Of The Couple Decided To Go One Place, But It Was Not The Place The Other Wanted To Go. As Soon As The One Realised That His Girlfriend Wanted To Go Somewhere Else, He Didn't Say Anything- But He Sure Gave Her A Look, And That Look Said It All. With Normal, Healthy Couples, They Should Be Able To Separate From Each Other Once In A While! What Keeps Codependent Couples Glued Together Is The Fear That If One Goes In A Separate Direction, He Or She Will Find Something Else More Appealing And He Or She Will Be Lost Forever.

How To Handle These Personalities When You Encounter Them In Dating:

The Best Thing You Can Do To Protect Yourself From These 3 Controlling Types Of People Is To Always Tell Them What You Want And What You Need Clearly. You Must Speak Up For Yourself Constantly With These Types Or They Will Steamroll Over You And Exploit You. Many Times, Men And Women Spot Controlling Traits Early On But Don't Say Anything For Fear That The Relationship Will End If They Say How They Really Feel.
The Ugly Truth Is That There Is No Way To Win Or To Have A Healthy Long-Term Relationship With Someone Controlling. You Will End Up Unhappy Either Way. Consider This Question: Would You Rather Walk Away Soon Or Wait Until Later When You're Deeper In The Relationship When It Hurts Even More To Leave?

YOUR ENEMIES ARE NOT A FACTOR.

"Your Enemies Are Not A Factor, You Are The Factor God Needs"
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Stop Fretting Over Your Enemies, Because Your Greatest Enemy Is Yourself. So Next Time You Are Praying For The Death Of Your Enemies, Remember You Are The Number One Enemy.
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Besides, How Do You Expect God To Answer Such A Prayer, When He  Sees You As The Gang Leader Of Your Own Enemies? This Is The Reason Majority Who Have Been Praying Such Prayers Over Time Haven't Gotten The Answers Or Breakthrough They Seek.
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Come To Think Of It, If Your Enemies Should All Die, In Whose Presence Would God Prepare Your Table? Wouldn't It Be A Case Of No Enemy No Table?
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You See, There Is A Good Reason Why Your Enemies Should Be There When God Prepares Your Table. Because Then, They Would Realise What A Fool They Have Been... And May Possibly Turn A New Leaf, Or Continue To Their Own Detriment.
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You Should Know That If God Wants To Bless You, Your Enemies Are Not A Factor. You Are The Factor God Needs To Bless You. And If You Are Your Own Enemy, It Obviously Means You Are The One Stopping Your Own Blessings.
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ARE YOU FORCING YOUR FEELING FOR SOMEONE

Sometimes It Just Happens: There Is Someone You Think Is A Great Person, But That "It" Factor Just Isn't There For You. They Are Nice, They're Funny; They're Smart, They're Not Needy 0r Bossy. Maybe Your Friends And Family Even Like Them And Are Repeatedly Warning You Not To "Let This One Get Away." But Still, You Just Don't Feel It For Them.

Here Are Some Suggestion If You Find Yourself Feeling Like You Should Want To Be With This Person More Than You Actually Want To Be With Them.

☆. Don't Beat Yourself Up About It:

If You're Not Feeling Something You Think You Should Feel (Or Even Want To Feel), Don't Be Hard On Yourself. We Feel The Way We Do, And No One Should Ever Be Criticised For The Desires They Do Or Do Not Experience. So Our First Recommendation Is That You Give Yourself A Break. Look At Your Feelings And Accept Them For What They Are. Then You Can Begin To Approach The Situation From A Much More Clearheaded Position.

☆. Get Clear On Why The Feelings Aren't Happening:

One Of The Best Ways To Gain More Awareness As To What's Going On Here Is To Do A Bit Of Soul-Searching. When You're Being Completely Honest With Yourself, Are There Reasons You Can Pinpoint As To Why You're Not Experiencing Stronger Emotions In This Relationship? Maybe You've Been Hurt And Are Still Reticent About Moving On. Or Maybe There Are Some Sort Of Other Unresolved Issues From Past Relationships, Even Non-Romantic Ones. And, Of Course, It Could Be That There's Simply Not The Physical Chemistry That You Want In A Relationship. That Happens. The Point Is That The More Honest You Can Be With Yourself On This Question, The Better You'll Be Able To Get Clear On How Best To Respond.

☆. Explore Why You Think You Should Force Your Feelings:

Like The Previous Suggestion, This Is One Demands Honesty On Your Part. Why Is It That You Feel That You Should Force Your Feelings For This Person? Is It Because You Are Afraid To Be Alone? Or That You're Afraid Of Hurting The Other Person? Are You Feeling Pressure From Others, Or Working Out Of A Fear That You Won't Find Someone Better? Or Maybe There's Something That This Person Offers- A Better Lifestyle Or Some Sort Of Security- That You Really Like Having In Your Life. Do Your Best To Figure Out What It Is That Makes You Feel That You Simply Ought To Make Things Work Out. That Will Help You Respond To The Situation In A Way That You Feel Good About.

☆. Communicate With The Other Person:

Clear And Honest Dialogue About How You Are Feeling Is Absolutely Crucial, Especially When You Already Respect And Care For The Other Person. There's Nothing At All Wrong With Saying Something Like, "Its Not Fair To Either One Of Us For Me To Try To Make Something Happen That Just Isn't There." Be Delicate And Be Kind If You Really Know, And You're Certain That There's No Way That It'll Ever Happen Between You, Then Be Honest And Communicate That To Them. Yes, It Will Probably Be A Painful Message For Them To Hear. But They'll Respect You For Your Honesty, And You'll Avoid Hurting Them Even More Down The Road.

☆. Be Willing To Request Some Patience:

You Might Be At A Point Where You're Still Open To A Relationship, But Maybe You're Not Moving As Quickly As The Other Person. If This Is The Case, Then Speak Up. Let Them Know How You Feel, That You Care About Them And Possibly See Potential For You Two Together, But That You Need Time To Allow A Relationship To Develop. Even If You're Getting Pressure From Numerous People, Keep In Mind That You Have Every Right And Even A Responsibility To Figure This Out For Yourself And To Do So In A Way That Let's You Make A Good And Healthy Decision.

☆. Be Open To Surprising Possibilities:

Consider The Possibility That The Other Person May Grow On You. And You Might Feel Differently In Time. Many A Relationship Began With One Person Wanting To Simply Be Friends And The Other Person Desiring More Than That. We're Not Saying That You Should Ignore Or Deny Reality Or Simply Keep At It And Expect That The Chemistry Will Eventually Appear. It Often Doesn't. And As We Said, If You Know For Sure That You'll Never Feel Anything Stronger Or More Serious For The Person, Then You Owe It To Them To Let Them Know. But If You're Not 100 Percent Sure, Then Is There Any Reason You Can't Give Yourself A Bit More Time, Just To See What Might Happen?

☆. If Possible, Maintain Friendship:

If You Two Are Really Compatible, And The Other Person's Feelings Aren't Too Advanced, Then Explore Together The Idea Of Simply Enjoying A Friendship For The Time Being. It May Be That The Relationship Has Progressed Too Far For This To Happen. If The Other Person Wants More Than Friendship, They May Not Be Willing To Settle For Less. Likewise, You May Decide That You're Unwilling To Live With Whatever Pressure Comes With Being The Person Who Is Being Waited For. But If You Can, Then Maintain Your Friendship And Enjoy All The Things You Can Offer Each Other. Then, Once A Strong Friendship Has Developed, Who Knows What Might Happen?

DATING MISTAKES THAT MAkE YOU LOOK DESPERATE

Have You Ever Wondered Why You Have Great First And Second Dates, But Can't Seem To Find A Fulfilling Long-Term Relationship With Anyone?

Last Week I Spoke With A Lady, A Single Mother In Her Early Thirties, She Has Been Dating The Same Guy Off And On For Over 2 Years. Despite The Fact That She's In Love With Him, He's Not Ready To Commit.

She's Confused About Why Her Boyfriend That She Is Willing To Drop Anything And Everything Immediately To Spend Time With Him, Including Her Parental Responsibilities (Which Is Probably Playing A Big Role In Why He's Not Sure About Their Relationship). It Turns Out She's Been Making Several Mistakes, Since The Beginning Of Their Relationship.

Here Are A Few Tips On What Not To Do During The Courtship Phase Of Dating (Usually The First Couple Of Months), Because They Can Set Up Bad Habits. Avoid These Mistakes At All Cost:

☆. Being Available All Of The Time:

When You First Start Dating Someone It Can Be Tempting To Want To Spend All Of Your Time With Him/Her, Persuading You To Keep Calendar Clear. Having Nothing Else To Do But Spend Your Time With That Person Makes You Come Off As Boring, Having No Life And Few Friends. This Is Not The Impression You Want To Make.

☆. Initiating Phone Calls Or Texting All Day Long:

It Is Important To Stay In Touch With Your New Love Interest, But Don't Go Overboard. Calling Or Texting Once Or Twice A Day Says "I'm Interested In You", Calling Or Texting Several Times Each Hour Of The Day Says "I'm A Borderline Stalker."

☆. Needing To Know Every Detail Of His/Her Day:

As Relationships Grow You Learn More And More About The Other Person; What They Like, Who They Hang Out With, Where They Go Regularly. This Should Be A Natural Process That Develops Over Time. When You Demand To Know All Of These Details Up Front It Can Make You Appear Insecure And Controlling.

☆. Talking About The Distant Future Within First Few Weeks Of Dating:

Dating Is An Opportunity To Get To Know Someone Gradually Over Time. Talking About The Long-Term Future Together Is Something That Couples Should Do Once They Are Exclusive And Have Some History Together. It Often Scares People Away If You Start Planning The Wedding (Aloud) On Your Second Or Third Date.

☆. Going Along With Anything And Everything:

There Is Tremendous Value In Being Flexible, And Tremendous Weakness In Having No Boundaries (a.k.a Not Being Able To Say "No"), People Naturally Push Other's Boundaries As They Become Emotionally Closer. This Is A Necessary And Critical Part Of Intimate Relationships. When You Accept Everything, (Your Date Showing-Up An Hour Late With No Phone Call, Him/Her Being Too Busy To Help Out In A Genuine Emergency, Or Cancelling Plans Last Minute Because There Is Something Else He/She Would Rather Do) Regardless Of How You Feel About It-You Come Off As Needy.

☆. Giving It All Away On First Date:

There Are Few Things That Kill Emotional Bonding And Interest Faster Than Getting Sexual Too Soon. True Intimacy Is Developed Over Time And Through Series Of Interactions Where You Learn More And More About The Other Person. This Increases Your Attraction To Him/Her Of Them Beyond Physical Appearance. When You Have Sex Right Off The Bat, It Sabotages This Process, You've Already Gotten Physical And That Can Muddle Your Chance Of Building True Intimacy. It Can Also Look Like That Is All You Have To Offer-Sex. Which Is Simply Not True. Not Forgetting To Mention That Having Sex On The First Date Isn't Always A Loser's Choice, But There Are Relationships That Have Also Thrived And Made Progress Afterwards... But Its Rare To Find Such These Days. So Its Best To Stay Out Of It If You Ain't Sure About Who You Are With.

☆. Including Your New Partner In Family And Personal Events Too Soon:

If You Invite The Girl/Guy You've Been Dating To A Family Function Too Soon, It May Scare Them Away. You May Think Your Family Is Wonderful And Perfect, But That Might Not Be How They Appear To Your New Mate. Having A Solid Foundation And Connection Together, Before Introducing Them To The Fam Can Go A Long Way. And Bring Your New Flame Into Your Family Dynamics Too Quickly Might Freak Him/Her Out.

These Are Few Behaviours That May Seem Harmless In The Moment, But Can Ultimately Represent Wanting Commitment Before You Really Know Each Other. For The Best Chance Of Developing A Long-Term Relationship Avoid These Impulses, At Least At First. You Can Always Decide To Move Things Forward In The Future, But You Can Never Take Back Things From The Past.

GIVING OUT TRASH

WHAT Some Folks Call "GIVING" Is Simply Appalling.

You Want To Give A Beggar Money, And Then You Toss Him A Dirty And Torn Note. Of What Use Is That To Him? Oh! Or Is It A Way Of Telling Him/Her To Go And Work? Why Bother!

Some Folks Want To Give Out Clothes, Shoes, And Bags. And The Ones They Think Is Best To Give Are The Ones That Are Over Used, Torn And Outdated. The Shoes Are Like Something That Have Walked The Entire City In The World. C'mon, Why GIVE Out Such To A Human Being Like You? Oh! Because You Think They Are Poor And Needy? Yes, They May Look Poor And Needy, But Don't Disrespect And Insult Them Any Further By Giving Them Damaged Goods. There Is No Blessing In That. In Fact, Some GIVING Can Become A CURSE In Return.


The Worst Is Those Who Go To Places Of Worship Like The Church, And As If Putting Peanut Out Of Their Abundance In The Offering Box/Bag Is Not Enough, The Peanut Money Itself Is Something That Has Been Rejected By An Aboki Or Pepper Seller. C'mon! Why Do That? Is Better You Don't GIVE Than Incur Damnation Upon Yourself!

In Fact, Personally I Don't Give Out Things That I Believe Are Bad For Me, Except Somebody Shows Interest In It. Atleast That Is Better, Than Just Carrying Or Dumping My Damaged Goods On Somebody Or A Family Just Because You Think They Are Needy. If You Have Stuffs That You Think Are Bad, And Could Be Useful To Someone Else... Put It Out, And Let Whoever Wants It Pick It Up, Than Just Singling Out A Person/People And Embarrassing Them With Things That Should Be In The Trash Bin.

NOTE: I'm Not Saying You Shouldn't GIVE Out The GOOD Things You Don't Like. But I'm Talking About Those Who GIVE Out Things They Know Are BAD/DAMAGED. If You Must GIVE Out Such, Then Make Sure You Repair And Put It In GOOD And Perfect Shape To Be Used By Another Person.

GIVE YOUR BEST OR DON'T GIVE AT ALL
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