ARE YOUR FRIENDS KEEPING YOU SINGLE?

The Man Standing In Front Of You Isn't Half-BAD, You Think To Yourself- Until Your Friends Start Talking About How Dating Older Men Is For The Birds, That Is. Even Though There's No Ill Will Or Malice On Their Part- They're Your Loyal Girl/Guy Pals, After All- Your Friends May Be Subtly Sabotaging Your Chances At Finding A Compatible Partner More Than You Think. Read On For The Various Ways Your Friends May Be Keeping You Single, Especially As A Lady, And Learn How To Prevent Them From Becoming Accidental Frenemies In Your Quest For Love.

1. YOU ADOPT NEGATIVE BELIEFS:

Worry Is Contagious, And Hanging Out With Friends Who've Become Disillusioned With Love And Dating Can Leave You Feeling The Same Way Without Making The Connection As To Why. According To A Recent Survey Put Together By My Team Of Relationship Experts, Excessive Commiserating (Or As Researchers Call It, "CO-Rumination") Among Girlfriends Can Cause Increased Anxiety And Hopelessness About The Future. OF Course, It Does Little To Improve Your Single Status Either, Whereas Actively Dating Does.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Change The Subject. BY Switching Gears, Hopefully You Can Prevent The Conversation From Becoming A "There Are No Good Men/Women Out There" Free-For-All. If Your Friends Insist On Talking About How True Love Only Exists In Movies, Sympathize But Don't Empathise With What They Say. You Can Still Be There For Them Without Taking On Their Problems And Beliefs As Your Own.

2. YOU JUDGE MEN/WOMEN BY THEIR STANDARDS:

You Want Someone Who's Special To You- Not To Maria. She Probably Sizes Up Men According To What She Wants And Needs In A Partner, Not What Would Complement You. So, Don't Dismiss That Guy She Found "Quiet" And "Boring" At The Party On Her Opinion Alone; He May Be The Perfect Balance For Your Outgoing Personality.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Stay True To What You Find Attractive. If You're Into Someone And Your Friends Give Him/Her A Less-Than-Stellar Review, Just Laugh And Say, "Really? How Funny; I Really Like That About Him/Her."

3. THEIR JEALOUSY AFFECTS YOU:

Do You Have A Friend Who Always Comments On How Lucky You Are Or How Everything Always Comes So Easy For You, Implying That He/She Somehow Got The Short End Of The Stick? IF The Green-Eyed Monster Consistently Rears Its Ugly Head In Your Direction, And You Feel The Need To Downplay Your Strengths Or Overall Awesomeness Around Him/Her, You May Want To Address The Situation.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Understand That While Jealousy Affects Us All, It Doesn't Give Anyone The Right To Try And Make You Feel Bad About Yourself. Often, The Mere Act Of Bringing It To His/Her Attention By Asking, "What Do You Mean?" Or "Why Do You Say That?" Makes It Less Likely He/She'll Do It Again.

4. THEY COMPETE WITH YOU:

Maybe You Have That One Friend Where If You Meet A Doctor, She's On The Hunt For A Surgeon. Or If You Had A Promising Date Last Week, She Just So Happened To Go On Three. Feeling Like You're In A Constant Race To The Finish Line Of Everlasting Love Is Not Only Unproductive And Exhausting, It Can Keep You Focused On "Winning" Instead Of Having Fun And Meeting New People. Which, Ironically, Is The Best Way To Up The Chances You'll Meet Someone You Really Like.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Understand That A Friend's Need To Compete Has Nothing To Do With You, And Everything To Do With What's Lacking In His/Her Life. Instead Of The Usual Back-And-Forth You/Me/You/Me Pattern Talking, Let The Focus Be Just On Him/Her Sometimes. You Can Also Refuse To Compete Altogether By Saying, "That's Great! I'm So Happy For You!" And Leaving It At That.

5. YOU'RE CHANGING, AND THEY WANT YOU TO STAY THE SAME:

Maybe You're Caught In A Dating Flurry, And Your Friends Makes Little Comments About Never Seeing You Anymore. Or They're Used To Being The Center Of Attention, And Your New-And-Improved Flirting Skills Don't Exactly Fit Into That Scenario. When You Challenge The Role You've Traditionally Played In A Friendship, Your Friends Can Find That Disconcerting And Try To Put You Back From Whence You Came.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Keep Making Positive Changes On The Dating And Flirting Front. Though They May Take A Little Time To Adapt, True Friends Eventually Will.

We're Not Advocating That You Stage A Friend Breakup The Second You See One Of These Behaviours. But If One Friend In Particular Consistently Brings You Down, You May Want To Consider Taking A Mini Hiatus From Him/HER And See How You Feel. As For The Rest Of Your Crew, The More You Focus On Yourself And Doing Your Own Thing, The Less Impact Their Behaviour Will Have On You. Because, Ultimately, Your Friends Only Have As Much Power To "KEEP YOU SINGLE" As You Give Them.
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THE POWER OF IDEAS

Ideas Are Simply Thoughts, Plans Or Mental Impressions On The Mind. However, They Are More Powerful Than We May Understand. It May Also Encourage Us To Know That God Did Not Finish Creation, But Only Started It. He Did Not Turn Into Physical Reality All Of The Things That Were Real In His Mind. He Gave Man The Privilege And Honour To Help Him Translate Into Physical Reality The Remaining Of Those Things That Are Reality In The Spiritual Realm.

The Rest Of Creation Is Waiting For Us. Do You Know God Could Have Created 20 Million People At The Same Time? He Could Have Built The Skyscrapers We Have Around, The Fastest Aircraft, The Biggest Ship And Many More Things. But He Left All These To Us Because He Wants Us To Have The Fulfillment Of Being Co-Creators With Him. Creation Begins With An Idea. Since He Built Us In His Own Image, He Has Made Us With The Capacity To Produce Thoughts And Ideas, And The Capacity To Turn Them Into Physical Reality.

Ideas Are More Powerful Than The Brains That Produce Them Because They Usually Outlive Those Brains. I want You To Understand That There Are Great Destinies Waiting For You In God's Mind! God Is Just Waiting For The Opportunity To Transfer Them Into Your Mind. The Day An Idea Is Introduced Into Your Mind, Creation Begins. Everything Visible Today, For Example, Cars; Microphones; Clothes; Buildings And So On, First Of All Existed In The Form Of An Idea In Some One's Mind.

Every Human Being Is Potentially Wealthy And Prosperous. The Poor Person Is The One Who Does Not Have Ideas Because Ideas Are The Seeds That Guarantee A Future Harvest. A Mango Seed Is Ultimately A Mango Forest But This Will Never Come Into Being Until The Mango Seed Is Planted And It Grows Into A Tree. This Process, When Consistently Repeated, Transforms The Mango Seed Into A Mango Forest. I Want You To Understand That Lying Within The Range Of The Faculty Of Your Mind Is A Great Destiny.

The Soul Does Not Eat Physical Food But Handles Intangible Things, That Is, Ideas. So The Prosperity Of My Soul Implies The Prosperity Of Ideas In My Mind.

One Major Way Through Which The Devil Can Get People To Become Poor Is To Make Them Have An Idea Problem. An Idea Problem Is A Serious Problem. If People Can Get Ideas, God Says They Will Get The Material Equivalent Of Those Ideas. So, Getting Ideas Is The Main Thing. I Have Found Out That Money Flows In The Direction Of Ideas. Whatever Stops You From Getting An Idea Has Already Stopped You From Getting Money. If A Person Is Going To Prosper, You Will Notice That The First Thing He Gets Is Prosperity Consciousness. HE Begins To See Himself From Inside As A Rich Person.

"For As He Thinks In His Heart, So Is He."
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DON'T JUMP THE RUNGS

Solid Foundation Is One Basic Thing Needed In Life To Ensure Enduring Success And Also Guarantee Sustainable Progress. But Solid Foundation Can Never Be Built Overnight. That Is Why It Is Not And Will Never Be A Product Of Chance. RATHER, It Is A Function Of Serious Interplay Of Time And Due Process.

In Life, Nothing Worthwhile Happens In A Hurry. Diligence Is A Key Value Needed In The Building Of A Worthwhile Life. The Truth Is, Life Runs On Principles. You Cannot Defy The Principles Of Life Without Destroying Life. Everything In Life Is Controlled By The Principles Of Process. It Is Impossible For You To (For Instance) Be An Adult Before Becoming A Child. The Normal Process Is The Reverse- You Must Be A Child Before You Become An Adult. Idea Must Precede Research Which Is Succeeded By Development Of The Idea And Finally Its Execution.

Life Calls For Growth And Development, But Growth And Development Must Be Subjected To Due Process. There Must Be No Jumping Of The Rungs. Any Rung Of The Ladder Missed Is Equivalent To Needed Knowledge And Experience Ignored, And The Truth Is That You Greatly Endanger Your Destiny By What You Do Not Know. It Is Only A Matter Of Time And You Will Realize That All Shortcuts Lead To Long Runs. So, Spare Yourself The Pain And Misery By Obeying The Principles Of Due Process.

Remember That Everything Starts With A Seed Before It Become A Harvest. You Can Never Harvest Unless You Plant Your Seed The Previous Season, And You Cannot Sow Unless You Have Seed. AS The Scripture Says, "Do Not Despise The Days Of Little Beginning" Because With The Passing Of Time, Due Process Will Prevail On That Little Beginning And The Latter End Shall Be Great.

In All You Do, Remember That Life Is A Process. NO One Can Actually Defy The Principles Of Due Process And Get The Right Result, Because As Long As The Earth Remains, Seedtime And Harvest Will Not Cease. (Gen 8:22) Life Is All About Sowing And Reaping; Therefore Sow Diligently And Richly That You May Have Rich Harvest, For Whatever A Man Sows, That Shall He Also Reap. (Gal. 6:7).
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YOU HAVE NO REASON TO REMAIN POOR.

Yes, You Have No Reason Or Excuse To Be Poor Or Remain Poor. You Might Say, But I Come From A Poor Background, I Lost My Parents When I Was Just A Kid And I Got No One Helping Me, I Lost My Business To Recession, My Parents Didn't Send Me To School And Whatever Your Reasons May Be.

The Truth Is Your Reasons Are Still Not Good Enough To Justify Your Being Poor. Because Poverty Is A State Of The Mind, And Not The Absence Of Money. The Sooner You Realize That The Better For You. Until You Change Your State Of Mind And How You Think, Your Estate Which Is Your Life And Personality Wouldn't. And You Just Might Remain Poor For The Rest Of Your Life.

You Have Got To Realize That There Are People Who Have Been In Your Situation Before, But Because They Refuse To Push Blame Or Become Complacent With Their Lives, Today They Matter In The Society, Because They Took Up Responsibilities For Their Lives.

True You May Have Been Born Into A Poor Home, But Rather Than Blame Your Parents, Or Wish You Were Born Into A Rich Family. Why Not See Yourself As The Saviour God Has Sent Into Your Family To Make The Difference And Liberate Them From Poverty. Because Most Of The Rich And Wealthy Families You See Today Started With One Person Who Saw Him/Herself As The Saviour God Sent To Pull Their Family Out Of Poverty.

True You May Not Have Gone To School, But Who Told You That Going To School Is What Makes A Man Successful? Time Would Fail Me To Start Listing Great And Successful People Who Made It Without Formal Education.

Note That God Didn't Create Anybody To Be Poor. The Bible Made It Clear In 2Corinthians 8:9 "For Ye Know The Grace Of Our Lord Jesus Christ, That, Though He Was Rich, Yet For Your Sakes He Became Poor, That Ye Through His Poverty Might Be Rich." Now Did You Notice The Word "MIGHT" As Used In The Passage Means Liberty. Which Means Its Left To You To Exercise That Liberty To Become Rich, Or Remain Poor. Besides Jesus Also Said "The Poor You Will Always Have With You...." (Mark 14:7).

Moreso, Jeremiah 29:11 Says "For I Know The Plans I Have For You, "Declares The LORD, "Plans To Prosper You And Not To Harm You, Plans To Give You Hope And A Future." (NIV)

So You See God Didn't Destine Anyone To Be Poor Or To Live A Bad Life. Hence, If You Are One Of Those Who Think God Is Responsible For Your Sufferings, Then You Have Got To Renew Your Mindset. "And Be Not Conformed To This World: But Be Ye Transformed By The Renewing Of Your Mind, That Ye May Prove What Is That Good, And Acceptable, And Perfect Will Of God." (Romans 12:2).

See Yourself The Way God Created You, And Then Talk, Walk, And Work In The Consciousness Of His Word And You'd Live A Glorious, Successful And Great Life.
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WHEN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER HAVE DIFFERENT SPIRITUAL BELIEFS

Let's Suppose You Are Dating Someone New, And The Two Of You Are Delightfully Well-Matched In Many Respects. You Share Several Hobbies. You Root For The Same Football Team. You Enjoy Similar Foods, Even The Obscure Ethnic Dishes You Thought No One Else In The Western World Liked. There Are No Red Flags In Your Mutual Taste In Music, Movies, Fashion, Or How You Spend Your Free Time. Everything Looks Positive.

Except For One Thing: You And Your Partner Subscribe To Different Spiritual Beliefs. But That's Okay, Right? So Long As You Respect One Another's Views, What's The Big Deal?

The Truth Is, There Isn't A One-Size-Fits-All Answer To That Question. A Lot Depends On Individual Personalities And Particular Religious Traditions. But For Many Of Us, Matters Of Spirituality And Religion Are Extremely Important. They Help Define Who We Are And How We'll Live Our Lives.

The Truth Is, Spiritual Dissimilarity In A Relationship May Not Be An Automatic "Deal Breaker," But Neither Is It Insignificant. Let's Look At Three Steps That Will Help You Think Through Your Own Circumstances:

1) BE REALISTIC:

For Lots Of People, Religious Faith Is About Far More Than Periodically Attending Services Or Observing Sacred Holidays Throughout The Year. Those Are Only The Most Visible Effects Of Spiritual Dedication In A Person's Life. In Fact, For Many People Religious Beliefs Shape What They Value, The Way They Relate To Others, And How They Respond To Life's Challenges.

What People Believe In Can't Help But Influence Their Goals And Limit What They Are Willing To Do To Reach Them. IN other Words, Spirituality Is A Signpost At All The Most Important Crossroads In Life. For Instance, If You Plan To Start A Family, Consider That The Arrival Of Children Prompts A Whole Host Of Faith-Based Decisions: The Traditions You Will Pass Down, The Rituals You Will Observe, The Values You Will Instill.

It Is Wise To Have Your Eyes Wide Open To The Implications Of Facing All Of Life's Ups And Downs With A Partner Who May Not Share Your Deepest Beliefs.

2) KNOW YOUR LIMITS:

There Isn't A Single Set Of Criteria For What It Takes To Be "Spiritually Compatible." For Some It Is Enough To Know Their Partner Believes In A Higher Power. Others May Feel It Is Necessary To Be With Someone From The Same Faith, Or Even Within The Same Denomination Or Sect. It Will Help To Know Clearly Where You Stand On The Subject, As You Size Up The Potential Of Your Present Relationship. Ask Yourself: To What Degree Must My Partner And I Share Similar Beliefs? How Much Room For Differences Am I Comfortable With?

3) GIVE YOURSELF THE FREEDOM TO USE YOUR VETO POWER:

If You Honestly Conclude That The Spiritual Distance Between You And Your Partner Is Too Great To Overcome, Then Say So Now. It's Possible That Your Beliefs Could Grow Closer Over Time- But Don't Count On It. Keeping Your Faith Sometimes Means Having The Courage To Say No To A Compromise You Can't Stand Behind In The Long Run.

The Purpose Of All Faith Is To Live With Wisdom, Honesty, Love And Grace. APPLY Those Qualities To Your Search For A Lasting Relationship- And Have The Courage To Honour Your Deeply Held Convictions.
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