I'm A Firm Believer In Discretion, Especially On Social Networking
Sites And Of All Things In Relationships. You May Have Been Misled By
The Belief That Partners In Relationships Have No Secrets, But Trust
Me When I Say: Loose Lips Sink Relationships. This Can Be A
Challenging Thought For Most Women Since Naturally (Yes, Something
Else You Can Blame Those Damn XX Chromosomes For) Women Think That The
Best Solution To A Problem Is To Talk It Through And Get It All Out
There. They Think There Are Magical Combinations Within Languge That
Will Solve Every Problem. But Frankly, There Are Some Things In
Relationships That Once Revealed End Up Hurting The Relationship More
Than Helping It. By Dissecting And Analyzing Every Conflict With A
Conversation, You May Be In Fact Creating A Bigger Problem Than You
Began With.
The Next Time Your Guy Tells You That You Talk Too Much, HE Might
Actually Have A Point.
I'm Not Talking About Deceit, And I'm Not Talking About Lying By
Omission. For Example, If You Slept Over Your Ex-Boyfriend's House
Last Night And Not Your Bestie's, The Information Is Probably Going To
Hurt The Relationship Once Revealed, But It Will Also Allow Your
Partner To Make A Clear And Informed Decision Regarding The
Relationship Because He/She Has All Of The Facts. On The Other Hand, I
Personally Believe That Things That Took Place Before The Relationship
Sometimes Lay Unnecessary Groundwork For Mistrust And Jealousy, And
Those Are Two Things That Can Surreptitiously Sink A Relationship Over
Time.
The Truth Is, Somethings Are Frankly Not Any Of Your Partner's
Business And Once He/She Has Knowledge Of Certain Aspects Of Your
Past, They May Subconsciously Be Distracted From Who You Truly Are In
The Present•
What's Your Take On The Following Situations? Do You Feel Like Your
Partner Should Know EVERYTHING About Your PAST???
1• EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT'S EVER HIT ON YOU:
Maybe Your Point Is To Make Him Jealous, And That Is Why You Choose To
Run Down Every Cat Call Or Whistle You've Received. Unfortunately,
When Dealing With Someone Who Already Has Trust Issues, You're
Basically Just Laying The Groundwork To Be Interrogated Every Time You
Step Foot Out Alone. Complimentary Margaritas From Your Friday Nite
"Club Crush" May Give You A Nice Buzz As Well As A Quick Boost Of
Confidence, But Once You Tell Your Partner, He's Not Going To Hear
Anything About How You Kindly Let The Guy Down Easy And Told Him You
Were Taken. All He Hears Is, "You Have Competition And You Can Trust
Me All You Want To, But Not Any Other Male Who Is In My Presence."
We've Got It: You're HOT. No Need To Remind Your Man Everyday That
Everyone Else Knows It As Well•
2• DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR EX'S:
You're Relieved That He Actually Calls When He Says He Will Unlike
You're Inconsiderate Jerk Of An Ex-Boyfriend. That Coffee Spot With
The Amazing Bagels? Your Ex Used To Take You There All Of The Time.
That Shirt He Just Bought? It Reminds You Of The Shirt Your Ex Used To
Wear ALL THE TIME. If Any Of These Phrases Sound Like Excerpts From
Conversations You Have With Your MAN, Then I Hate To Break It To You,
But He Might Be Preparing To Leave You. Obsessively Bringing Up An Ex
Either Negatively Or Positively Just Makes You Sound Like You're Not
Over The Relationship. Leave The Past In The Past When It Comes To
Love Lost, Otherwise You'll Be Having This Same Conversation With A
New Guy Within Months•
3• SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN CURED:
The Last Thing You May Want To Do Is Explain Your Medicine Cabinet
Collection Of Monistat, And I Hate To Break It To You, But A
Discussion About STIs And Sexual History Is Never Pleasant. Positive
Diagnosis Of Incurable STIs Like Herpes And HIV Are Obviously Things
That You Would Want To Know About Your Partner, And In Some States
It's Even A Criminal Offense To Not Reveal A Confirmed Diagnosis With
Sexual Partners. But What About A Gonorrhea Infection You Experienced
Years Ago That's Long Gone? Is This Something You Need To Reveal?
If My Partner Had An STI In The Past, Curable Or Not, I Would Want To
Know And Feel That I Should Extend That Same Courtesy In Revealing My
Sexual Past. Your Sexual History Is OnE Of Those Things That In Fact
Can Affect Your Present. Some STIs Can Affect Fertility And Doctors
Agree That If You've Been Infected With An STI You're More Susceptible
To Contracting STIs In The Future. So While You May Not Want To Make
Every Partner Fill Out A Health History Chart Every Time You Do The
Deed, Sexual History Should Be On A Need To Know Basis And Anyone
You're Sexually Involved With Needs To Know•
4• THE NUMBER OF PARTNERS YOU'VE BEEN INTIMATE WITH:
This Is Another Part Of Revealing Your Sexual History That Can Be
Tricky. When It Comes To The "What's Your Number?" Game, You May Not
Always Get The Truth Because So Many Social Stigmas Are Attached To
The Number Of Sexual Partners An Individual Has Had. Values And Double
Standards Aside, There Are Sexual Health Reasons That Might Make You
Think Twice About Fudging Your Number Since The More Sexual Partners
You've Had, The More Likely It Is That You Contracted An STI At Some
Point. If You Are Regularly Tested And Your Results Are Negative This
May Not Be As A Big Of A Concern And Any Mature Man Will Respect Your
Choice As An Adult To Engage In Responsible Sexual Activity As Well As
Your Number, No Matter How Big Or Small It May BE•
6• WHAT YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT HIS MOTHER:
His Best Friend, His Taste And Clothes And Anything Else That You're
Solely Using For Ammo In The Heat Of An Argument. One Of The Perks Of
Being In A Relationship Is That While You Can Depend On Your Partner
To Give Honest Feedback, They Truly Should Be Your Number One Fan. And
Part Of Being A Fan Is Still Giving Support Even When Your Partner
Isn't On His Or Her A Game. Stashing Insults And Harsh Truths In An
Arsenal To Sling When Times Get Tough Is Not Only A Low Blow But It's
Not How You Should Treat Someone You Care About . If You Really Have
Issues With A Part Of Your Partner's Life That You Want Addressed,
Bring It Up When Things Are Calm So You Can Actively Compromise. Don't
Just Save Them For The KO In Your Verbal Boxing Match•
