Realizing That There Are Many Different Issues Of Infidelity Is Just
About One Of The Most Difficult Circumstances A Couple Can Face.
Despite The Difficulty, Though, There Is A Possibility Of Resolution
When A Couple Is Hopeful About Staying Together, Willing To Forgive
Human Mistakes And Wanting To Move Forward In A More Loving Way•
A Surefire Way To Act Against Your Best Interests Is To "Snoop" Or Spy
On Your Partner If You Suspect Infidelity. Why Doesn't Snooping Work
For Any Relationship? Because It Involves Invading Someone's Privacy
And Breaching Trust. Human Beings Are Territorial. We Want Our Own
Space. When Someones Takes Away What Is Ours, We Usually React
Strongly, Going Into A Defensive Mode•
This Fact Is One Of The Strongest Reasons Why You Should Not Snoop.
Think About It: It Would Be A Useless Cause To Attempt To Get Facts Or
Information By Snooping, Because The Moment You Present The "Evidence"
To Your Partner, He Or She Becomes Aware That There Was A Breach Of
Privacy And Will React Defensively- Wouldn't You? Defensiveness Is
Coming From A "Fight Or Flight" Mentality And Is Not Conducive To
Having A Calm Discussion About What You Have Found Out In Your Private
Eye Session (Be It Negative, Neutral, Positive)•
If You Are Suspecting An Affair, You Can Actually Benefit From
Suggesting An Open Conversation With Your Partner. Here Are Some Tips
To Make It A Beneficial Discussion:
අ Choose A Calm And Safe Place That Both Of You Agree On•
අ Choose A Time When Both Of You Are Calm Enough To Have An Open Conversation•
අ Begin With Expressing Your Concerns And Fears, And Explaining Why
You Feel That Way•
අ State That Your Intention Is Pure Clarification; Don't Accuse•
අ Be Specific About Which Behaviours From Your Partner Made You Feel
Nervous Or Suspicious•
අ Take A Moment To Step Back And Actively Listen To
What Your Partner Has To Say•
අ Reflect Back What You Have Heard And Understood From Your Partner,
So As To Avoid Confusion And Misinterpretation•
අ It Is Extremely Important To Maintain A Calm Stance And Tone Of
Voice So Neither Of You Go Into A Fight Or Flight Zone•
අ If, While Snooping Around, You Do Find Evidence Of Infidelity, Work
Through Your Painful Emotions First Before Discussing Them With Your
Partner. Talk About Your Feelings With A Trusted Friend, Or Perhaps
Your Therapist. It Is Important To Acknowledge What You Are Going
Through, Because It Is In The Acknowledgement That You'll Realize You
Will Be Okay Through The Pain•
අ Emotional Pain Is Not Life Threatening. It Will Subside Eventually,
But You Need To Ride It Out. I'VE Seen A Lot Of Couples Decide To Stay
Together- Even After Infidelity. They Seek Counseling, Work Hard On
Rebuilding Trust And Explore Other Ways Of Relating With Each Other
That Works For Each One Of Them•
There Is Hope In Life's Most Difficult Circumstances. And When It All
Seems Unmanageable, Know That Sometimes You Can Truly Benefit From
Professional And Objective Insights•
What Do You Think- Is Anyone Ever Justified In Snooping?
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