WHO SHOULD MAKE THE FIRST MOVE WHEN IT COMES TO SEX

I Know This Topic Might Look A Bit Awkward Coming At This Time. But Something Triggered Reasons Why I Should Talk About This.

I Was Following Up On A Similar Question Asked In A Certain Forum, And It Perplexed Me To See 98.9% Of The Ladies In That Forum Saying Its A Man's Duty To Initiate Sex Or Rather Make The First Move When It Comes To Sex.

Seeing Those Response Basically Confirmed The Reason Why Many Marriages Are Experiencing What I Call "Sexual Paralysis" Or A Complete Loss Of Sexual Intimacy Between Couples.

Most Ladies Act Like Their Bodies Is Made Of Wood And Stones, Hence They Can't Be Moved Or Feel Anything Sexually. I Mean, Why Does It Have To Be The Man Who Should Initiate Sex All The Time? For Crying Out Loud, This Is Somebody You Call Your Husband... Somebody You Are Now One Flesh With. So Why Bring In The "Girlfriend Attitude" Into Your Marriage? A Case Where Your Boyfriend Has To Be The One Who Should Make The First Move, Because You Fear That Making The First Move Could Make Him Think You Are Slutty Or Lose.

The Fact That You Are Both Married Should Throw The Question Of Who Should Be The First To Initiate Sex Outside The Door. Because You Both Are Free To Make The First Move When You Feel You Need Each Other Sexually. Just Imagine A Case Of You Dating A Guy, And Everytime You Are The One Who Always Calls... Wouldn't That Make You Feel Less Appreciated Or Wanted? Now Bring That Picture Into This Issue Where It Always Has To Be The Man Initiating Sex All The Time.

As Much As You Want Your Man To Make You Feel Attractive And Wanted, You Should Also Know That Men Also Want To Feel Attractive And Wanted By Their Spouse Too! So Don't Make It A Must Or Priority That It Has To Be The Man Who Makes The Move. A Lot Of Marriages Have Crumbled, And Some Are Experiencing Challenges Due To This. And The Worst Is That Most Women Don't Know What The Problem Is, Because Most Men Wouldn't Address Or Communicate The Issue Verbally, So As To Avoid Unnecessary Fall Out.

And How Do They Communicate This? You'd Notice The Man Would Gradually Start Slowing Down His Approach To Sex, And This Is The Point Where Most Women Start Thinking The Man Is Having An Extra-Marital Affair... Which Often Isn't True. However, The Situation Might Deteriorate To A Point Whereby The Man Might Start Keeping Another Sexual Partner, Not Because He Is That Interested In Having An Affair, But Because Some Other Lady Makes Him Feel Attractive And Wanted Sexually.

This Is Not A Good Reason Any Man To Start Cheating, But The Truth Remains That Such Things Can Trigger Most Men To Start Cheating. Don't Forget That CHEATING Is A Habit That Is Formed By Circumstances, And Circumstances Determines If It Will Continue Or Stop.

For Ladies Who May Not Want To Be Too Direct When It Comes To Making The First Move Sexually, You Can Start By Sometimes Giving Him A Long Look And A Knowing Smile To Get The Message Across...

But At Other Times You Also Need To Be A Bit More Explicit.

Try Whispering: "I Want You" Quietly In His Ear While You're Out With Friends, Sending Him A Cheeky Text Message At Work, Or Letting Your Hands Wander All Over Him While You're Watching TV, To Make Your Intentions Crystal Clear!

If You're Shy About It, A Long, Deep, Lingering Kiss Is The First Step To The Bedroom!

Send Him A Flirty Message When You're Both Out With The Same Group Of Friends. Getting A Hot Text From You While You're Sat Opposite Him In The Pub Will Have Him Jumping Over That Table To Take You Home.

Be Spontaneous, Don't Be Too Rigid Or Conventional, And Quit Being Too Religious When It Comes To Sex With Your Partner.

NOTE That A Marriage That Is Sexually Dysfunctional, A Marriage That Has Lost Its Sexual Attractiveness, A Marriage That Is Sexually Deficient, Is A Marriage Heading For The Rocks.

So As A Lady, Stop Being Too Sexually Rigid. Make Your Man Feel Sexually Wanted And Attractive, And You'd Marvel At The Wonders Such A Move And Gesture Would Do To Your Marriage That Has Lost Its Sexuality.

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GOOD TRAITS THAT MAY POINT YOU IN THE WRONG DIRECTION IN A RELATIONSHIP

I Believe Majority Of Us Are Familiar With The Idiom "Red Herrings". Well, For Those Who Don't... Red Herring Are Those Clues Or Events That Seem Important, But Only Take The Viewer In The Wrong Direction And Away From The Real Solution. In The Real World Of Dating, Red Herrings Are All Too Common. Traits And Things That Seem Important, Impressive Or Even Disappointing Early On May Turn Out To Be False Leads That Point Us In The Wrong Direction.

In The Early Stages Of A Relationship You Have To Make Decisions With Little Bits Of Information. So We All Look For Indicators To Help Us Choose To Go Forward Or Go Away. Some Of These Traits Are Good Indicators And Some Can Be Very Misleading. Not Because They Are Bad Things, Necessarily, But Because They Don't Tell You Much About Whether The Person Will Be A Good Partner For You. Putting Too Much Faith In These Litmus Tests Can Have You Wasting Time And Energy On Someone Who Was Never Really Right For You.

A LIFE DEDICATED TO FUN:

What If You Discover That Your New Guy/Girl Is Really About Fun, Frivolity, And Distraction. There Are People Who Work Hard And Play Hard, And Then Some Just Play Hard. At A Certain Point You'll Probably Want To Have A Sense That Your Good Time Charlie Has A Deeper Level And Deeper Goals Than Just Putting Food On The Table And Seeking The Next Thrill. Seeing A Person Once Or Twice A Week And Having A Great Time Can Be Intoxicating. MAKE Sure You Don't Let This Blind You To The Other Elements That You Need To See Before Moving Forward.

EXCEPTIONAL GIFTS:

Intelligence Can Be Impressive. In Fact, Some Of Us Have Left A First Date And Been Bowled Over By The Exceptional Brilliance Of The Person We Just Met. You Can't Help But Think, "Wow, That Person Is Really Smart, And They Are Attracted To Me?" It Can Feel Flattering And Increase Our Attraction. But Certainly, We Know That Truly Brilliant People Make For Difficult Partners. The Same Is True For Talented People. The Eccentricity Of Talent Can Make A Life Together Maddening. The Point Is Not That Your Exceptional Date Is A Bad Person, Waiting To Make Your Tougher, But Rather That You Shouldn't Be Dazzled By Their Gifts.

FINANCIAL SUCCESS:

Money Certainly Isn't A Bad Thing, But It Tells You So Little About The Person Who Has It. Some People Have Money Because They Are Willing To Work 80 Hours A Week, Eating And Sleeping Their Job. Is That A Partner You'd Like To Have? Some People Have Money Because Their Parents Left It To Them. They Have Never Worked And Have No Work Ethic. Is This A Person That Sounds Like A Good Partner To You? Some People Have Money And A Balanced Well-Ordered Life. It's Impossible To Know Without A Great Deal More Information.

THE JOKER:

A Jokey Person Is Quite Different From A Fun Person. A Jokester Is A Person Who Rattles Off One-Liners The Entire Night. You Get The Feeling They Could've Been A Stand-Up Comedian.

We All Like To Laugh, And Being On A First Date With A Joker Can Be A BLast, But Unlike Some Of These Traits That May Hide Unpleasant Behaviour, The Joker May Cause Trouble By Just Continuing To Be Himself. One Night Of Jokes Can Be Great. Two Weeks Of Jokes May Be Torture. Also, A Person Who Cannot Be Serious May Have Serious Issues That They Are Avoiding.

NO RELATIONSHIP BAGGAGE:

He's 38 And Never Married. No Bad Break-Ups. NO Angry Exes. No Past Heartache. It Seems Too Good To Be True. Maybe It Is Good, And Maybe It Means He Has Never Been In A Real Relationship. Maybe He Has Never Done The Hard Work Of Trying To Make A Relationship Work. Maybe He Just Runs Before It Gets Serious, And Maybe You Would Get To Teach Him All These Skills And Hope That It Works Out.

Baggage Can Be Annoying, But It Can Also Be The Proof That A Person Is Strong, Tempered, And Willing To Really Love You.

THE CHARMER:

It Is Graceless Age In Many Ways. We're Short On Social Niceties And Long On Convenience And Efficiency. So, When We Meet A Charming Person It Can Feel Wonderful. It Can Cause Us To Lower Our Guard And Look Past A Whole Host Of Issues. Just Remember, Charm For Your Parents And Friends Is A Wonderful Thing To See, But It's Just One Thing You Need To Know About Your New Person.

STATUS:

Most People Choose Their Mates Based On Approximately 5 Personality Traits. One Of The Five Is Status. Do You Feel Like The New Person Is Of Your Status In Life Or Higher? Women Tend To Value This More Than Men, But It Is Important To Both Genders. The Problem Is That Status, Unlike Some Things, Is Subject To Change. It Is Also A Product Of Behaviour- Like Financial Standing. You May Like That Your New Husband Is A Mover And Shaker, But Not Like He Plays Golf 20 Hours A Week To Be That Way.

LOT OF FRIENDS:

She Has Lots Of Friends. Good Thing Right? Probably. But It's Very Important That You Meet These Friends And See Her Interact With Them. IS It A Group Of Equals? Is She Too Eager To Please? Is She Dependent On These Friends? DOES She Want Them Around All The Time, Short Changing Your Alone Time? What If Her Friends Are Mostly Men? THAT introduces A New Series Of Questions. There's No Shortcut To Learning About A Person's Nature. Friends Are The Kind Of Indicator That Require Deeper Knowledge.

CLOSE WITH HIS/HER FAMILY:

A Family Person! WHO Wouldn't Be Thrilled To Be With Someone Who Values Family? Have You Ever Seen, Arrested Development? JUST Knowing That A Person Loves To Be With Their Family Is The Tip Of The Knowledge Iceberg. Will You Like Their Family? Will The Family Be In On Every Decision You Make As A Couple? Some Families Are Like Quicksand And Some Are A Blessing. You'll Need More Info To Know Which You Have.

REALLY LAID BACK:

If Your Life Is Harried And Hectic, Spending The Evening With A Very Laid Back Person Can Be A Treat. Their Entire Demeanor Puts You At Ease, And You May End The Night Feeling As If You've Had A Restful Meditation. This Is A Great Place To Start A Relationship. Its Important To Realise That If You Were To End Up Together This Super Laid Back Style Is Going To Need To Be Mixed With Some Proactive Energy. You're Going To Need A Spark. You're Going To Need Passion And Willingness To Make The Relationship Deeper And More Connected. If You Are The Only One Bringing These Things To The Relationship You'll Likely Resent His/Her Lack Of Initiative.

THE ATTENTIVE DATER:

Many People Dream Of Being With An Attentive Person, Especially If They've Spent Time Dating Someone Who Was Less Than Interested In Them. SO, If You Find That Your New Love Is An Attentive Person, That's Great. Just Don't Use That Trait As Some Kind Of Super Qualifier For A Deeper Relationship. Because What Feels Special And Attentive Early On, May Seem Clingy, Needy, And Sad Later On. You Want This New Person To Have An Interest In You, And To Have An Interest In Their Own Life.
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ARE YOU HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR?

A Soul Mate Relationship Is Based On Trust, Commitment, And A Strong Desire To Be Together. Still, Despite This Bond, It's Also True That Your Hearts Will Be Stretched In Countless Ways. The Danger, Especially During Challenging Times, Is That You May Be Vulnerable To Having An Emotional Affair. This Can Damage Trust And Stop You From Surrendering To The Growth Needed For Your Relationship.

What Is An Emotional Affair? I Describe It As When You Turn To A Friend Or Co-Worker For Emotional (Not Physical) Intimacy. The Seduction Is That This Person Gives You What You Feel Your Mate Doesn't: Support, Ego Boosts, Empathy, Playfulness, An Undercurrent Of Flirting Or Attraction.

Initially, This Can Seem Innocent But You May Begin To Share More With This "Safe" Person Than With Your Mate. I Understand How It Can Be Easier To Talk To Someone Sympathetic Who's More Peripheral. You're Not Wrestling With The Same Hot-Button Emotions Such As Anger Or Disappointment That Can Arise With A Soul Mate. Your Dark Sides Aren't Engaged, Which Is What Causes Most Impasses Among Couples.

However, If You Keep Sharing With Your Special Friend And Not Your Spouse, Your Primary Relationship Will Suffer. You'll Become Distant, Less Present, And Therefore Less Able To Resolve Conflicts. Your Partner Will Sense Something Is Wrong. Basically, These Affairs Are A Form Of Cheating, And Like Any Infidelity Can Lead To Deception And Betrayal. In Fact, Research Reports That About Half Of These "Innocent" Liaisons Eventually Turn Into Full Blown Sexual Affairs.

With A True Platonic Soul Friend, There's No Deception, Hidden Sexual Agenda, Nor Is Anyone Diverting Your Emotional Energy From Your Primary Relationship.

How Do You Know You're Having An Emotional Affair?

Watch For These Signs:

You Withdraw From Your Spouse But Confide In Your Friend.

It's Difficult To Talk To Your Spouse About Conflicts.

You Feel Lonely And That Your Spouse Doesn't Appreciate You.

You're Frequently Online With Your Friend, Texting, Or Even Sexting.

You Believe Your Friend Understands You Better Than Your Spouse.

You Keep Your Friendship A Secret From Your Spouse Or Lie About How Often You Interact.

When You're Confronted With The Emotional Affair, You Deny It.

If Five To Seven Signs Are Present, It Strongly Suggests You're Having An Emotional Affair. Three To Four Signs Indicate That You're Either Primed To Have One Or You Already Are. One To Two Signs Suggest The Possibility Of An Emotional Affair. Zero Yeses Indicate That You Are Not Involved With One.

It Takes Honesty To Admit You're Having An Emotional Affair. The First Step Is To Recognise What's Happening. Then You Have The Choice To Either Continue The Affair Or Decide To Focus On Your Partner. The Truth Is, You Can't Do Both. If You Choose Your Partner, You Must Surrender To Doing What It Takes To Heal The Relationship.

First, This Means Cutting Off The Emotional Affair. In A Respectful, Clear Way You Must Tell The Other Person, "I Can't Cyber-CHAT, Text, Meet Up With You, Or Talk On The Phone Anymore. It's Not Possible For Us To Be 'Just Friends.' "

Then, Openly Talk To Your Partner About What's Causing The Distance. Is It His Or Her Long Hours At Work? A Lingering Hurt? Lack Of Affection? Many Therapists Recommend Confessing Your Emotional Affair. In Most Cases I Agree, But How And Whether You Decide To Do This Depends On What Will Be Most Caring And Helpful To Your Partner. At The Very Least, I Suggest That Patiently Lovingly Communicate, "I've Been Sharing My Feelings More With A Friend Than I Have With You. This Doesn't Feel Right. I Want Us To Be Closer." Or You Can Acknowledge That You've Crossed A Line And How Far You've Crossed It. Use Your Intuition As A Guide For How Much You Want To Share. But Be Prepared For Your Partner's Hurt And Angry Feelings.

Listen Without Getting Defensive. Then, Together Or With A Therapist, Begin To Address Where You've Grown Apart Or Shut Down. Despite Great Pain, Soul Mates Have What It Takes To Withstand Difficulty Until Things Are Resolved. It May Take Time, Awareness, And Love, But With Bonds As Strong As These, I Know It's Possible.

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WAYS TO KNOW IF YOUR NEW PARTNER IS TRUSTWORTHY

Your New Relationship Is Off To A Positive Start, And Your Hopes Are Getting Higher This One May Last A Long Time. But These Days, It's Hard To Know If You Can Really Trust Someone. How Can You Know For Sure?

It's True That A Person's Trustworthiness Can Only Be Measured Overtime, Since Words And Actions Are Revealed (And Assessed) Month After Month. Still, In The Early Stages Of A Relationship, There Are Helpful Signs To Watch For:

1. OBSERVE THE OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR PARTNER'S LIFE:

Does He/She Have Long-standing Friendships And Professional Relationships Built On Trust? Do People Comment On Your Partner's Dependability? You Can Tell A Lot About A Person's Character By The Calibre Of His Other Relationships.

2. TAKE YOUR TIME GETTING TO KNOW THE PERSON:

The Longer You Know Someone, The Harder It Is For That Person To Keep From Showing His Or Her True Colours.

3. BELIEVE THAT "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS:"

People Who Are Trustworthy Don't Spend A Lot Of Time Telling You How Trustworthy They Are. They Just Live It.

4. NOTICE HOW EVERYDAY COMMITMENTS ARE HANDLED:

Does He/She Show Up On Time? Does He/She Follow Through On His/Her Promises? Being Reliable With Little Things Should Give You Confidence About The Big Issues.

5. LISTEN FOR GOSSIP:

Spreading Rumours Is A Form Of Backstabbing- Breaking Someone's Trust Without Their Ever Knowing It.

6. BE ATTENTIVE TO EXAGGERATION:

Does He/She Say Things That Seem Too Good To Be True? If So, They Might Be.

7. BEWARE OF BLAME SHIFTING:

Trustworthy People Take Responsibility For Their Mistakes Rather Than Blaming Others.

8. BE ALERT TO EVASIVENESS:

If Your Partner Is Defensive Or Sensitive When You Ask Simple Questions About Where He/She Has Been, The Person May Be Hiding Something And Is Afraid You'll Put Two And Two Together.

9. DON'T BE FOOLED BY FLATTERY:

Does Your New Partner Promise You The Stars And Moon? Are His/Her Compliments Over The Top? Behind The Flattering Words, Does He Seem Driven By His Own Agenda And Needs, Rather Than A Sincere Interest In Getting To Know You And Your Needs?

10. DON'T DISMISS FLIRTING:

If You Notice Your Date Flirting With Someone Other Than You, Neon Lights Should Illuminate In Your Brain. Flirting Or Checking Out Other People In Your Presence Is A First Cousin Of Untrustworthiness.

11. SNIFF OUT SECRETIVENESS:

Do You Feel Closed Out To Certain Aspects Of Your Partner's Life? If So, You Have To Wonder What Lies Behind Those Cordoned-Off Areas. Secrets Arouse Suspicion- And Often For Good Reason.

12. BE WARY OF "Little White Lies."

Someone Who Bends The Truth "A Little" In The Early Stages Of A Romance Is Likely To Shred It To Pieces Later On. If You've Caught Your New Partner In A Seemingly Innocent Lie, Watch Out!

13. WATCH FOR INCONSISTENCY:

Deceptive People Must Work Hard To Keep Track Of What They Have Said, And To Whom. When The Details Of A Story Don't Add Up Or Keep Changing Over Time, It May Be A Sign That You're Not Getting The Straight Scoop.

14) TRUST UNTIL YOU ARE CONVINCED YOU SHOULDN'T:

If You've Been Burned In The Past, You May Feel Your Partner Isn't Entitled To Your Trust Until He/She "Earns" It. But An Untrusting Attitude Can Sabotage A Growing Relationship. Believe The Best About Your Partner- And He Might Be Motivated To Live Up To Your High Expectations.

15. ASK DIRECT QUESTIONS:

If You Suspect The Other Person Is Not Being Completely Honest And Forthcoming, Remember That You Are Entitled To The Truth. Don't Let Smokescreens Deter You From Getting A Straight Answer.

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SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOOD AS OVER

Once The Honeymoon Period Is Over Most Relationships Fall Into A Comfortable Pattern That Might Be Short On The Fireworks Of The First Year, But Provides A Stability And Intimacy That Feels Great.

However, If That Comfortable Groove Has Started To Feel More Like An Apathetic Rut It Might Be Time To Take A Long, Hard Look At Your Relationship And See If It's Likely To Stand The Test Of Time. Here Are Some Ways To Tell If Your Relationship Is On The Rocks...

1. YOU DON'T COMMUNICATE

If You Come Home From Work, Stick The Telly On And Don't Speak To Each Other Beyond The Occasional "Pass The Crisps", You're In Trouble.

Communication Is The Key To Every Relationship And Without It Minor Issues Can Flare Up Into Fights And You'll Both End Up Feeling Unloved And Indifferent. If You Don't Want To Talk To Each Other About How Your Day Was Or Chat And Laugh Together Anymore, It's A Clear Sign That You're Losing Interest.

2. YOU IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT YOUR PARTNER:

If You Find Yourself Constantly Having Daydreams That Fail To Feature Your Partner It's Time To Ask Yourself Some Questions. You Might Long For A Home Free Of Their Clutter And Chat, Or Fantasise About A Date With That Hot New Colleague, Or Wish You Could Just Take A Holiday Alone: Whatever It Is, You've Started To Emotionally Detach.

3. YOU RARELY HAVE SEX:

Once The Initial Excitement Of A New Relationship Has Worn Off You Will Naturally Have A Bit Less Sex, But A Strong Desire For Your Partner And Regular Sex Make For A Healthy, Functioning Relationship. It May Just Be That Your Sex Life Has Got A Little Bit Routine And Injecting Some Zest With A Little Bit Of Experimentation Will Put Things Back On An Even Keel, But If You Still Aren't Feeling It, Its Probably Time To Wave Goodbye.

4. YOU PICK FIGHTS:

If You Find Your Partner Irritating And Can't Resist Constantly Picking Them Up On Their Habits Then The Writing Is On The Wall. Relationships Require Empathy, Compassion And Compromise To Keep Going, So If You've Jacked All That In Favour Of Snapping And Bickering It's Time To Get Out Of There.

5. YOU FORGET ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS:

Whilst Big Gestures Are Thrilling And Romantic They Don't Help Maintain A Relationship On A Day-TO-Day Level. A Recent Study Funded By The Economic Science And Research Council Found That The Simple Things- Such As Bringing Your Partner A Cup Of Tea In Bed- Nurture A Relationship Much More Than Grand Romantic Gestures. If You've Forgotten About Those Little Things And Rarely Think To Do Anything For Your Partner, From Offering Them A Cuppa To Giving Them A Cuddle, Then It's Time To Forget About The Whole Thing And Move On.
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DO YOU HAVE THE KIND OF ATTITUDE MEN FIND IRRESISTIBLE?

When You Meet A New Man You Like, It's Tempting To Think You Need To Actively Do Something To Show Him Why He Should Be Attracted To You And Interested In You. You Might Think You Need To Show Him What A Great Cook You Are By Making Him A Meal Or Helping Him With A Problem So That He Sees That You'd Make A Good Partner.

But While Every Relationship Needs A Balance Of Give And Take, These Efforts On Your Part Are Not What Make A Man Attracted To You. The Truth Is That The Women Who Men Find Irresistible Have Certain "Attitudes" That Draw A Man's Attention And Interest Easily-With Little Or No Effort.

You Can Think Of These "Attitudes" As What You Are Saying To A Man Without You Saying A Word. Your Internal Emotions, Your Body Language, And Your Tone Of Voice All Communicate Your "Attitude" At A Deep Level.

Here Are Some Attitudes That Are Subtly Irresistible To A Man:

1.) I Don't Let A Man Determine What I Will Have In My Love-Life."

This Kind Of Woman Won't Settle For A Man Who Isn't Giving Her What She Wants And Needs Emotionally. Men Respect This At A Deep Level, And They Either Become Engaged And Inspired By This To Want To Be With You... Or Turn The Other Way If They Really Aren't Looking For What You Want.

How Do You Embody This? By First Taking Stock Of What You Really Need In A Relationship, And Then Sticking Up For Instance, Say You're Ready For An Exclusive Relationship. Simply Tell Him, "You Have Every Right To Date Other Women, But I'm Looking For Exclusivity. It's What Feels Right For Me." This Is A Lot Different, From Issuing A Man An Ultimatum. It Tells Him That This Is What You Need Independent Of Him To Make Something Happen. Rather, You Are Stating What You Are Looking For- With Or Without Him.

Irresistible Attitude #2: I'd Leave A Man Before I Allow Unacceptable Behaviour."

This Woman Won't Stay In A Relationship That's Abusive, Degrading, Or Morally Questionable. She Also Won't Put Up With Bad Behaviour From A Man. Integrity And Trust Are Important To Her, And She Lets Him Know That.

The Cornerstone Of This Attitude Is A Healthy Sense Of Self-Esteem. In A Relationship, The First Person You Must Take Care Of Is You. Know Your Boundaries So That You Can Recognise When Someone Crosses Them- And Let Him Know When Something Is Not Acceptable To You.

Irresistible Attitude #3: "I Wouldn't Keep A Man From Doing The Healthy, Personal Things He Enjoys, Or Let My Own Fears Or Limitations Stand In His Way."

She Knows That Her Man Is An Adult Who Has The Right And Freedom To Make His Own Choice. She Understands That The More She Tries To Restrict Him, The Less He's Going To Feel Open, Free And Empowered When He's With Her. She Respects His Need To Pursue His Goals And Dreams.

A Smart Woman Gives A Man The "Rope" He Needs To Be Himself. She Recognises That When Each Person In A Relationship Nourishes His Or Her Particular Passions, That The Relationship Also Becomes More Interesting And Passionate.

When You Embody These Irresistible Attitudes, A Man Is Much Less Likely To Get Weird On You When You Let Him Know How You're Feeling, Because He'll Be Craving A Meaningful And Deep Connection With You As Well. These Attitudes Tell Him That You Are The Kind Of Woman Who Has A Strong Sense Of What She Needs And That She Is Not Looking To Him To Make Her Happy. She Takes Responsibility For Her Own Happiness- And This Is Infinitely Attractive To A Man.

Understanding Attraction And How It Works In A Man Is Crucial For Having A Lasting, Secure Relationship. TO Learn More About The Kind Of Woman A Great Guy Is Attracted To For A Long Term, Then Stick Around For Our Subsequent Articles As We Unfold What Makes A Guy Want To Commit To You, And What You Can Do To Get Him There Without Any Convincing Or Game Playing.
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IS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT A REAL THING?

Listen To Enough Pop Songs And Watch Enough Romantic Movies, And You're Bound To Start Believing That Love At First Sight Happens All The Time. But Does It Exist In The Real World, Between Real People?

Like So Much About Love, The Question Of Love At First Sight Can't Be Answered Objectively. But I'll Do My Best To Answer It Here In The Most Helpful Way.

IS YOUR MIND PLAYING TRICKS ON YOU?

Have You Ever Seen Someone And Instantly Felt Attracted To Every Part Of Them, Including Their Personality (Even Though You Haven't Even Talked To Them Yet?) You Might Be Quick To Call It Love At First Sight, But It's Probably What Psychologists Call The Attractiveness Halo Effect. When You See Someone Who Looks Great, Your Brain Sometimes Jumps To The Conclusion That Their Personality Must Be Great Too.

We All Know That Not Everyone's Looks And Personalities Match Up. Some Attractive People Are Total Jerks, And Some Of The Best People In The World Aren't What You'd Necessarily Think Of As Hot. So The Halo Effect Is Really Just An Illusion. Your Sudden Feelings Of Love Might Go Away As Soon As You Get To Know The Person Better.

LOVE: MORE THAN JUST LOOKS

Everyone's Got A Different Take On What Love Is, But Few People Believe That's Made Out Of Stuff You Can Find Just By Looking At Someone. Love (At Least If You Ask Me) Is Made Up Of Compromise, Empathy And Patience. You Can't Give Or Get Those Sorts Of Things At First Sight.

That Doesn't Mean That Your Initial Feelings Can't Turn Into Love. When You First See Someone, You Might Instantly Know That You Want To Get Close To Them And Learn About Them. As Your Relationship Progresses, Those Feelings Might Eventually Grow Into Love. But Is "LOVE" Really The Word For Your Gut Reaction? Not Unless Your Definition Of Love Is Kinda Superficial.

WHEN COUPLES "JUST KNOW"

You Might Meet Couples Who Say That When They Saw Each Other For The First Time, They "Just Knew." What Did They Really Know? Probably That They Liked How The Other Person Looked And Acted, And That They Wanted To Take Things To The Next Step And Get To Know Each Other Better.

If They Want To Call It "Love At First Sight," That's Okay By Me. But Keep In Mind That There Are Lots Of Other Couples Who Get The Same Feeling When They Meet Each Other, And It Ends Badly Or Doesn't Go Anywhere At All. It's Not The Stuff That Comes Later- The Commitment And Caring That Makes A Relationship Last.

THE DANGER OF BELIEVING TOO STRONGLY IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

You Might Be Wondering Why I'm Giving Love At First Sight Such A Bad Rap. It's Not That I Don't Think The Idea Is Sweet, Or That I Don't Love Me Some Romantic Movies. But It's Wrong To Think That If You Don't Have Intense Feelings Right Away, It Could Never Be Love. Some Of The Best And Strongest Relationships Started Out In Totally Unromantic Ways.

More Importantly, Though, The Halo Effect Can Be Dangerous. If You See Someone Hot And Assume That What You Feel Is Love, You'll Overlook Qualities In Them That Could End Up Hurting You. You Might Let Them Get Away With Abusive Behaviour Because Your Heart Has Taken Over Your Better Judgment.

SO WHAT'S THE ANSWER?

Whether Or Not You Want To Believe In Love At First Sight Up To You. Just Don't Go Out There Expecting To Find It And Get Upset When You Don't.

And When You Meet Someone You Instantly Swoon Over, Be Aware That There's A Whole Lot About Them You Haven't Seen Yet- Including Some Stuff That Might Not Be So Deserving Of Your Love.

Have You Ever Met Someone And Immediately Felt Love At First Sight? If Yes, Kindly Share With Us What Your Experience In The Relationship Was Or Is Like. :-)

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WHAT TO DO WHEN A GIRL SAYS SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND

Many Guys Are Afraid Of Finding Out If A Girl They've Been Crushing/Admiring Has A Boyfriend Or Not.

When I Meet A Girl, I Find Out If She Has A Boyfriend Or Not. If She Has A Boyfriend, I Ask About Him To Find Out If He's REAL Or Not. That's What You Should Be Doing Too.

Now This Article Isn't About Telling You Whether Or Not To Sleep With A Girl Who Has A Boyfriend.

This Article Is About Telling You What To Do When A Girl Says She Has A Boyfriend.

WHAT TO DO WHEN A GIRL SAYS SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND: Proper Screening: Find Out ASAP!

The Results Of An Interaction Can Take A Turn Depending On How You Find Out A Girl Has A Boyfriend. Many Times Girls Will Say They Have A Boyfriend To Just Filter You Out And Make You Go Away. This Can Sometimes Be Because Of A Bad Opener Or She Doesn't Find You That Attractive.

Sometimes A Girl Doesn't Want To Hurt Your Feelings So She Makes Up A Lie. Now I'm Not A Home Wrecker, So I Indirectly Ask If A Girl Has A Boyfriend Or Not.

EXAMPLE 1: Found Out She Had A Boyfriend

There Was This Cashier Once Who Would Always Smile And Give Me Seductive Looks. So After The Holidays I Asked What She Got For Easter From Her Friends And Family. It Was A Normal Conversation, I Was Going Direct, And I Was Just Seeking Information.

Exzel: Hey, How Was Your Holiday?

Girl: Great And Yours?

Exzel: Great Huh? What Stuff Did You Get?

Girl: *Lists Stuff* How Bout You?

Exzel: This And That, What'd Your Boyfriend Get You?

Girl: He Got Me This And That And Blah Blah Blah

Exzel: Sounds Like You're Spoiled *Exit Exzel From Interaction*

Now A Lot Of Guys Can Say I Already Knew She Had A Boyfriend But I Really Didn't. I Know That Some Women Enjoy Flirting When They Have A Boyfriend Cause They Like The Attention From Guys.

A Lot Of Times I Just Assume A Girl Has A Boyfriend When I Go Out. It's A Lot More Flattering In A Girls Mind To Think That Someone Out There Finds Her Attractive. If She Doesn't Have That Someone When You Could Possibly Be That Someone In Her Life.

EXAMPLE 2: Found Out She's Single

Exzel: You Know You Should Stop Looking At Me Like That?

Her: What? Why?

Exzel: Cause Your Boyfriend Might Get Jealous.

Her: I Actually Don't Have A Boyfriend.

Exzel: *Goes In For A Close*

Girls With Boyfriends: How Committed Are They? Girls To Stay Away From!

THE USERS

The Reason I Screen For Girls With Boyfriends Is To Keep Me From Wasting Time. First Off, If A Girl Has A Boyfriend You Should Never Take Her Out On A Date And Wine And Dine Her.

The Reason Being You Had A Great Time With Her, But She's Going To F**k Her Boyfriend. Women Love Getting Free Meals. If Anything You Became A Provider And A Great Friend To Her.

One Who She Won't Hesitate To Call Whenever She Has Any Boyfriend Problems. You're Way More Invested In Her Than She Is In You. The Girl Is Teasing You, She Gives You Flirty Smiles And Soft Hugs Because She Wants You To Stick Around. Girls Know How To Keep Men Around, But You Have To Keep Men Around, But You Have To Have The Balls To Simply Walk Away.

Sometimes She Just Wants To Make Her Boyfriend Jealous. She's Dancing On You At The Club To Get A Rise Out Of Him. If She's Trying To Make Him Jealous, She's More Invested In Her Boyfriend NOT You. You Are Simply A Tool At Her Disposal.

Regardless, Her Friends Will Stop Her Making A Big Mistake Anyway. Women Are Very Emotional And Do Things That Logically Don't Make Sense To Men.

You Have To Look At The BIG PICTURE, And Make Good Decisions. Don't Buy Meals For A Girl Who Has A Boyfriend, And Don't Get Led On With A Girl Who Has A Boyfriend. When You Get Led On It Shows How Inexperienced You. Real Men Walk Away And Find People Who Won't Waste Their Time.

Girls With Boyfriends: The Girl Who Needs To Be Rescued

For Whatever Reason This Girl Is Dating Some Crazy Guy Who's Abusive. The Guy Beats Her Up And Slaps Her Around. You Think To Yourself You Can Save Her, You Cannot. I Don't Care How "Lethal" Your Hands Are Or How "Tough" You Think You Are.

If Her Boyfriend Is Crazy And Known To Be Violent Then You Should Stay Away From That Girl. If The Man Is Unstable Just Walk Away From Her And, Avoid Her Like A Plague. Girls Like This Have Awful Taste In Men And More Than Like Have Some Psychological Issues Too.

Now Lets Cover How You Actually Met This Girl And How She's Different.

Girls With Boyfriends: She's In "Love"

When A Girl Is In Love With Her Boyfriend She Will Give You A TON Of Resistance. The Reason Being Is She Doesn't Want To Hurt Her Boyfriend. She Cares About Him And HE Cares About HER.

Now If You Happen To Sleep With This Girl She's Going To Be An Emotional Wreck. The Reason Being Is She Cheated On Someone She Loved And The Boyfriend Will Probably Dump Her If He Ever Finds Out.

This Leaves A Woman Torn Apart Because She Made A Mistake. Trust Me, I've Been There, And I Know How Devastated The Lady Was Afterwards.

At The End Of The Day It's On YOU To Decide If It's Worth It Or Not. I'm Not Here To Judge You, I'm Here To Advise You.

Girl Who Has A Boyfriend: Defining The Relationship And Circumstances Where You Met Her

Now Notice In My Examples Above No Matter What The Girl Said I Remained Unfazed.

Now For Those Of You That May Be Wondering I Typically Don't Go After Girls Who Have Boyfriends. It's Not Because Of Some Morals, Ethics, Or Etc... It's Because It Takes A Great Deal Of Time And More Effort To Get These Girls Laid.

Girls Love Going Out When They Have Boyfriends Because They Love The Attention. They Love Getting Free Stuffs And They Love Having Fun With Their Girlfriends. Now There May Be A Girl You End Sleeping With Though.

Girl Who Has A Boyfriend: The Girl On A Mission!

This Girl Has A Boyfriend And Wants To Sleep With Another Guy In Revenge.

Her Boyfriend Messed Up And Cheated On Her, And Now She Wants Revenge. She Wants To Hurt Him Just Like The Way He Hurt Her. This Girl Is Up For It And She's Being Very Blunt About It.

You Must Act Quick And Not Hesitate Because If You Don't Do It She'll Find Someone Who WILL. If You Want To Sleep With Her You Must Move Fast And Act Quickly. It Will Be A One Time Thing And She'll Leave The Situation Feeling Great And Satisfied. She'll Make Her Exit And Go Back TO Her Boyfriend.

Don't Get Attached. If You Guys Think Women Don't Do Things Like This, Then Watch For Another Article Titled "Women Are Just As Horny As Men" If Not Hornier.

What To Do When A Girl Says She Has A Boyfriend: Conclusion And Wrap Up

If You're The Type Of Guy Who Doesn't Want To Sleep With Someone's Girlfriend, Screen Her For A Boyfriend. If She Has A Boyfriend And You Don't Want To Sleep With Her, Just Exit From Her Life.

Now If You Want To Sleep With A Girl Who Has A Boyfriend Anyway Then Try To Avoid The Types I've Listed. Find The One On A Vendetta At Your Local Bar Or Club Or Anywhere Else.

I'm Not Encouraging You To Start Sleeping With Every Girl Who Falls Prey To You. Because Remember I Prefer Not To Waste My TIME.
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THE MISTAKES LADIES WHO APPROACH A GUY MAKE THAT RUIN THEIR RELATIONSHIP

Yes Great People... Welcome To Another Article From My Series "The MIND OF A PLAYA"

Like I Promised In My Last Article Titled "Is There Anything Wrong In A Lady Approaching A Guy Or Telling Him How She Feels? I'm Here With A Follow Up On That Article. Now For Those Of You Who Haven't Read That Article, You Can Do So By Visiting www.Deedollar.Blogspot.Com.

Its No Longer A New Thing Lately To See Ladies Approach A Guy They Like And Pour Their Hearts Out, While Some See It As Cool, Others See It As A Lady Presenting Herself Cheap. Well As For Those Who Have No Problem With It, And Specifically Those Who Have Done It And Failed... Am Here To Give You A Few Tips On Why The Relationship Probably Never Worked.

For Most Guys, Its Unusual And A First Experience To Have A Lady Approach Them. And Saying 'NO' Isn't Really An Option Especially If The Lady Is One That They Would Love To Have A Relationship With. Yes, I'll Address This Issue In Two Perspective

1) When You Are Not His Type

2) When You Are His Type.

WHEN YOU ARE NOT HIS TYPE

As A Lady, When You Approach A Guy Whom Isn't Attracted To You In Anyway, And Doesn't Want To Be Outrightly True To You By Turning You Down In The Most Appropriate Of Ways, So As Not To Hurt You... What First Comes To His Mind Is "Is She The Kinda Girl I Wanna Be With?" Now If You Are Unfortunate To Approach A Guy Who Isn't Man Enough, That Sees You As An Easy Prey. He Wouldn't Care About Your Character/Attitude Or Other Essential Qualities He Needs In A Woman. Because All His Mind And Focus Is Directed Towards Having SEX With You As Soon As Possible.

...And Because You Are Already So Into This Guy, You Wouldn't Mind Doing Anything Just To Get Him To Love You As Much As You Love Him, You Then Fall For Anything. Now This Is Where Some Ladies Who Have Approached Guys And Failed Get It Wrong. Because Soon The Guy Is Done And Gone... And You Feel Cheap, Cheated, And Used. Then You Start Thinking The Whole Idea Of Approaching A Guy Is Lame And Wasted.

WHEN YOU ARE HIS TYPE

The Mistake Ladies Who Approached A Guy Who Is Genuinely Interested In Return Mostly Lies In This Part.

Remember I Talked About How The Bible Admonished Men To Love Their Wives... And I Said Its Because Men Have A Hard Time Loving. Men Are Quite Slow To Love Than Women, But Women Are Naturally Wired To Love.

So One Of The Mistakes Most Ladies Who Approach A Guy Make Is Actually Wanting The Guy To Start Responding With All The Love And Care They Require From A Man. What They Forget Is That A Guy Who Shows A Genuine Interest, And Who Sees Her As His Type Also Needs Time To Be Sure About What He Is Getting Himself Into, If Truly It Would Work Out.

As A Lady Who Approached A Guy, Don't Forget That The Qualities The Guy Is Looking For In A Wife Wouldn't Change Because You Approached Him First. So If Your Qualities In The Course Of The Relationship Doesn't Tally With What He Wants In A Woman, Then That Relationship Is Sure To End Soon Leaving You The Lady Emotionally Shattered In Regret For Making The First Move.

NOTE: If You Are A Lady Who Nags, Cheats, Who Is Rude And Non Social, Don't You Think Approaching A Guy First For A Relationship Wouldn't Favour You? So Its Advisable To Be At Your Best Before Being The First To Make A Move.

Finally, Don't Expect The Man To Immediately Start Doing The Things He Would Have Done If He Was The One Who Approached You. Give Him Time To Grow Into Loving You By The Way You Handle Issues Maturedly. Be In Control Of Your Feelings, Don't Let It Escalate Into Making You Behave Needy And Possessive, Because It Would Scare Your Man Who Is Just Getting To Love You Away.

Just Imagine How It Took You Time As A Lady To Finally Get To Love That Guy Who Once Approached You. If It Is So For You As A Lady Who Has Twice The Ability To Love, How Much More A Man Who Is Slow To Love?

JUST THINK ABOUT THAT.

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IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG IN A LADY APPROACHING A GUY OR TELLING HIM HOW SHE FEELS?

Still On My Series "THE MIND OF A PLAYA." I Want To Address Another Sensitive Issue On This Article.
Is There Anything Wrong In A Lady Approaching A Guy And Telling Him How She Feels? My Answer To That Is A Capital 'NO.'

Now I Could Sense A Lot Of Ladies And Guys Alike Are Raising Eyebrow Already.
Well, As Much As Our Opinions May Differ, I Want To Open Our Eyes To Something Most Of Us Are Refusing To See Or Notice When It Comes To A Lady Approaching A Guy.

It Has Been Quoted By Many That Its The Man's Duty To Approach A Lady That He Likes, Because It's His Duty As Man. Some Go To The Extent Of Quoting Proverbs 18:22 To Drive Home Their Reasons. But Before I Go Further, Let Me Quote What Proverbs 18:22 Says From The Amplified Bible For Us To Get A Clearer Picture... And It Says " He Who Finds A [True] Wife Finds A Good Thing, And Obtains Favour From The LORD."
Ooops! Did Somebody Notice Something? If You Didn't, Let Me Point It Out... It Says "He Who Finds A 'TRUE' Wife..."
Doesn't That Indicates That You Can Also Find An UNTRUE WIFE? That Means That Union Would Be A Terrible One, Because There Would Be No Favour To Obtain From God On That. Not To Mention That The Writer Of That Passage Is A Man Who Had Many Wives And Concubines... (Solomon) In Which Amongst Them Are Those He Approached, Those That Approached Him, And Those That Were Given To Him As A Gift By Other Kings And Towns Men.

And Who Says Your TRUE WIFE Wouldn't Be The Lady Who Approached You? As There Is No Law Holding Back Women From Expressing Their Feelings To A Man, Be It In A Fit Of Anger, Advice, Warning, Or Just Simply Telling Him That She Likes Him, And Wouldn't Mind Having Him As A Partner. That Obviously Sounds And Look Absurd To Most People Who Walk Around With The Stone Age Mentality Right? Certainly! OR Those Who Walk Around With A Misconstrued Interpretation Of What The Scripture Says.

Away From Biblical Exposé... Now To The Psychological Perspective....
It Has Been Said That Ladies Who Approach Men Are CHEAP, And Selling Themselves Short.
ARE LADIES WHO APPROACH GUYS CHEAP?

My Answer To That Is Another Capital "NO."

Its Just That A Lot Of Ladies Who Have At One Point In Time Approach A Guy, Have Been Taken Advantage Of, Or Taken For Granted.

Anyone Who Says Or Think A Lady Who Approaches A Guy Is Cheap Is Just Being Myopic And Sentimental Due To Ill Experience Or Plain Ill Luck. It Takes Serious Guts And Maturity For A Lady To Walk Upto A Guy, And Tell Him She Likes Him And Would Love To Date Him.

Its Just That A Lot Of People Haven't Woke Up To The Reality That A Lady Should Be Free Or Is Free To Express Her Feelings Of Love To A Guy. And If You Are A Guy Who Sees Such Lady As CHEAP, Then You Really Have Some Growing Up To Do.

As A Lady, Do Not Feel Caged And Ashamed To Go For What You Want. Atleast Its Better To Try And Know It Didn't Work; Than Not To Try At All And Then Die In Silence Watching The Guy You Dream About Resting In The Arms Of Another Woman. And In The Worst Case Scenario, You Start Beefing Every Lady You See Around Him.

You Might Be Thinking, Ah! I Can't Do That O! Its Better To Give Him Signals For Him To Make A Move, Than To Open My Mouth To Tell Him How I Feel. Well, You May Be Right... But That Could Oftentimes Make You Look Silly And Unknowingly Being Too Pushy. And Oftentimes It Could Be Misinterpreted To Mean That You Just Need A Hit And Run Kinda Thingy Than The REAL Thing. So Its Better You COME CLEAN.

CATCH Me Next On "THE MISTAKES LADIES WHO APPROACH A GUY MAKE THAT RUINS THEIR RELATIONSHIP."

Feel Free To Follow Me On Twitter @ www.Twitter.com/ExzelDeeDollar

Or Send Me A Mail @ Exzeldee@gmail.com

BBM : 266BB759

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WHY AND HOW SOME LADIES GET PLAYED IN A RELATIONSHIP

Here Comes An Article From My Series "THE MIND OF A PLAYER."

Ooops! As A Guy I Shouldn't Be Sharing This, As It Is Regarded As Giving Out Too Many Secrets On How The Typical Player Mind Works. But I'm Doing So Because I Oftentimes Feel Sorry For Most Single/Married Ladies Out There Who Walk Around Thinking They Know What It Is That Goes On In A Man's Mind When It Comes To Relationship And How Most Men Seek Desperate Ways To Knock Down A Lady.

Therefore, I'd Advice If You Are A Single Lady Who Wants A Serious Relationship, Or Into One Already. Then Take Your Time To Follow Up On This Series By Reading This Article. And As A Married Lady You Should Too, As You Might Pick Up One Or Two Things.

First, I Want To Kick Off On A Spiritual Note. And I'm Gonna Be Quoting In Part From The Amplified Version Of Ephesians 5:22 And 25 Respectively To Drive Home A Point, And I Quote In Part "Wives Be Subject (Be Submissive And Adapt Yourselves) Unto Your Own Husbands...." 25 "Husbands, Love Your Wives..."

Now Somebody Is Thinking... How Does This Relate To Singles? Yes It Does, Because It Carries A Lot Of Spiritual Weight And Order Concerning How Relationship/Marriage Should Be.

First, Note How It Said Women Should Subject Themselves. Doesn't That Say Something? That Shows Women Might Have A Hard Time Being In Subjection... And Men Might Have A Hard Time "LOVING." Else, Why Didn't Those Passage Say "Men Submit, And Wives LOVE." That Shows Both Often Fall Short In These Areas, And So That Was Written To Remind Both Parties On Where To Work On To Build A Successful Marriage.

Now That You Know Men Have A Hard Time "LOVING." We Can Now Go Into WHY AND HOW MOST LADIES GET PLAYED IN RELATIONSHIPS.

Men Know That Women Are Wired To LOVE Naturally With Ease, But What Makes A Guy Decides To PLAY On A Lady Is How She Carries Herself, The Way She Talks And The Attitudes She Displays.

I Want To State Here That Ladies Who Play Hard To Get, And Those Who Place A Guy On Conditions To Date Him, Are The Main Target And Victims Of A PLAYER.

A True PLAYER Doesn't Play On A Lady Who Is Free, Open And Genuine. Rather Than Play On Such A Lady, He Would Rather Quit Or Withdraw From The Relationship At An Early Stage To Avoid Wasting Her Time And Hurting Her So Badly.

PLAYERS Study And Know What Is Peculiar To Any Lady... Moreso, They Are The PERFECT Pretender. They Know Exactly What To Do At The Right Time To Make A Lady Feel Loved.

Moreso, As Much As We Have PLAYERS... So We Have Desperate MEN...This Men Could Go Any Length To Humiliate A Lady. At This Juncture, I'll Be Sharing With You On The Experience Of A Couple Of Ladies...

I'm Gonna Be Hitting On Some Grievous Mistakes Some Ladies Innocently Or Deliberately Make When Wanting To Date. And Oftentimes, The Devil Uses It As A Way To Frustrate Some Ladies.

Sometime Ago, I Met A Lady Who Insisted That Any Guy She Would Date Or Marry Must Be Wealthy... Hence, She Ended Up Dating Wealthy Guys Who Continuously Dated And Dumped Her Afterwards. As Much As There Is Nothing Wrong In Dating Wealthy Guys, Your Motives Could Actually Be Misunderstood And Used Against You... Hence She Fell Prey To Guys Who Knew Her Intentions Were Not Pure.

Secondly, There Was A Catholic Lady Who Insisted Any Man She Would Date Or Marry Would Be Catholic As Well, Hence, A Guy Who Wanted Her Badly Became A Catholic Just To Get Married To Her. Unfortunately, Immediately The Priest Declared Them Husband And Wife, The Guy Renounced His Membership As A Catholic From That Day. Now Tell Me What Would Be The Fate Of That Lady?

Another Incident, Is One Of That Should Be An Eye Opener To Our Ladies Who Are Virgins, And Those Who Stand For "No Sex Till After Marriage." And So There Was This Lady Who Said "The Man That Would Disvirgin Her Must Be Her Husband" And So The Guy Went To The Extent Of Doing Introduction And Traditional Marriage... Just After The Man Disvirgined Her, His Attitude Changed, Till He Finally Left Her. Not To Mention That There Are Strange Men Out There Who Seek Virgins, Not Because They Want Them As A Wife, But To Disvirgin Them... Which Is Sometime A Requirement For Some Guys/Men Who Belong To A Secret Society To Make Wealth. So Be Mindful Of Who You Brag About Your Virginity To.

I Remember Approaching A Lady With Clear Intentions Of Wanting To Date And Marry Her If Things Worked Out Well. Though I've Known Her For Some Time Before Making A Move. She Just Looked At Me, Smiled! And Asked, "Do You Have An Apartment Of Your Own? I Said NO! That I'm Squatting With A Friend.

... Then She Told Me That Before We Go Into Anything Serious That I Should Go First, Get An Apartment And Furnish It Before She Would Be Ready To Date Me.

I Went Home Knowing She Wasn't The Kinda Girl I Thought She Was, I Then Made Up My Mind To Punish Her For Giving Me Such A Condition. A Month Later, I Called Her And Told Her That Everything She Asked Me To Do Is Now Set. She Came Around, Confirmed It And Then She Agreed To Date Me. As Time Went On, 2months Into The Relationship, I Called Her One Day, And Told Her I Was No Longer Interested In The Relationship. What She Didn't Know Was That I Already Had My Own Apartment Before I Approached Her. But Because Of The Conditions She Placed On The Relationship Which Proved She Was Being Materialistic, I Decided To PLAY On Her, To Prove To Her That LOVE Is Beyond All That.

NOTE: Their Are Guys Who Are Out There To Experiment On Girls,... So As A Young Girl, You Are Into Teenage Relationship Thinking It Would Lead To Marriage, Nine Out Of Ten Times You Are Wrong.

Most Importantly To Every Single Lady Out There... That He Cares And Does Nice Things For You, Calls And Texts You Every Second Doesn't Always Mean He Loves You... It Could Be That There Is Something He Seeks, And Until He Gets It... He Wouldn't STOP. Even Though It Means MARRYING YOU To Get It. That's Why You See Some Marriages Starts Crashing Just After The WEDDING.

OPEN YOUR EYES, USE YOUR HEAD AND STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF. And If You Really Want To Be Safe, STAY TRUE To GOD. Don't Deceive Yourself By Trying To Show To Men That You Are Giving Certain Conditions Because You Want To PLEASE GOD. When In Other Areas Of Your Life GOD Isn't There.

So Much To REVEAL... But CATCH Me On The Next One.

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WHEN FIGHTING, ARGUING, YELLING, AND SCREAMING IS A GOOD THING IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

I Know This Is True For Me... Check Out And See If It's True For You As Well.

I Bet It Is...

Here Is What Happens...

One Or Both Of You Get Triggered About Something That The Other Says Or Does... You Defend And Argue Your Point...

Then You Either Withdraw And Clam Up Or Keep Trying To Prove You're Right By Getting Louder And More Insistent.

...And The Really Crazy Thing That Happens When You're In The Middle Of A Fight Or Argument Is That Little Voice In Your Head That's Throwing Its Own King Sized Temper-Tantrum.

In The Middle Of These Kinds Of Fights And Arguments, Very Often You Find Yourself Thinking Things About Your Spouse Or Partner Like...

"You Don't Love Me..."

"I Hate You..."

"l'll Show You. I'm Going To Have An Affair..."

"I Should Have Never Dated/Married You In The First Place..."

"My Mother Was Right About You, And I Can Finally See It..."

You Might Even Say Out Loud Some Of These Things That You Don't Really Mean (Just To Get Your Point Across) And That You Later Regret.

Your "Fight" Doesn't Get Resolved But Eventually The Two Of You May Ease Your Anger Enough To "Get Along"-- Until The Next Time.

Sounds Frustrating And Pretty Dismal, Doesn't It?

I Found Out That It Doesn't Have To Be That Way.

You Can Use These Arguments And Fights To Find Out What You Really Want (It's Usually Not What You Think You're Fighting About)...

And Get A Resolution To The Real Issue That's Underneath The Obvious Cause Of The Disconnection.

The Next Time You're In The Middle Of An Argument Or Out-Right Fight With Your Spouse Or Partner, Take An Energetic Step Back And Notice How That Inner Voice Inside Your Head Says All Kinds Of Crazy Things To You In The Heat Of The Moment.

Then Look Underneath Of All Of That Monkey-Mind Talk And What You Think The Argument Is About And Ask Yourself...

"What Is It That I'm REALLY Wanting Here?"

That's A Place Where You Can Communicate From Because It's Softer, Perhaps More True And Authentic.

If You Have Trouble Coming Up With The "Right" Words To Use During Arguments To Invite Your Partner To Finding A Solution That Both Of You Want, Then You Might Need To Work On Yourself, By Contacting A Relationship/Marriage Counsellor, Or Magic Words Programmes That Would Give You The Tools.

Looking Underneath The Self-Talk And Surface Conflict Is Also A Place To Build TRUST.

When You're Honest About What You Want And You Can Listen To Your Partner's Honest Answers, You Can Begin Building Trust Again If It's Been Broken.

Some People Think It's Not Good To Argue-- But I Say That It's Always A Good Thing When You Can Turn Disagreements Into Helping You Get To The Bottom Of What You Want And Actually Set The Stage For Feeling Closer And More Loving In Your Relationship.

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PRAYING AMISS

Its Often A Common Prayer Point To Hear People Pray Against Their Enemies. As Much As I Have My Reservations Regarding That, I Want To State That Not All Prayer Points That Is Called Directly Concerns You. Now Back To The Issue...

Most Times The Things People Pray For Are Totally Issues That Often Requires Common Sense, The Application Of Knowledge, Wisdom And Possibly A Change Of Attitude Or Character.

Imagine Someone Whose Bad Attitude Towards His/Her Customers In Business Has Made Him/Her Loose Customers And Potential Customers Alike. And As Such Business Starts Deteriorating. And In Church Or Mosque You Start Praying Against The Enemy Working Against The Prosperity Of Your Business. WHAT? Can't You See You Are Your Own Enemy? Seriously, Majority Of The People Who Pray Sometimes Pray SELF DESTRUCTIVE Prayers. That's Why Most People Don't Get Answers To Their Prayers. Because If God Was To Strike Any Enemy Dead On Your Case, He Would Just Strike You Dead.

What Majority Require As Solutions To Their Travails Is Sometimes A Major Self Reassessment, And Not Fighting An Enemy That Only Exist In The Person Of Yourself.

In All, I Do Not Underestimate The Power Of Prayers Over Any Circumstance. But Its Only Wise That We Know What The Problem We Are Addressing Is Before Praying. Because What Some Of Us Call Prayer, Is A Complete Disturbance To GOD.

Now Somebody Is Saying "Isn't It The Devil At Work In A Person That Makes Him/Her Act In A Certain Way That Makes Them Put Up An Attitude That Makes Them Loose Customers In Business?" Well, That To An Extent Is True, But Do We Now Say The Devil Is Responsible For Every Wrong We Do? The Answer To That Is A Capital "NO." Because Even The Devil Himself Would Be Saying To God... "God, Can You See Your Child Lying Against Me?"

The Truth Is That Most People Are Their Own Enemy, And The Devil Has Nothing To Do With It. Even If He Has, Isn't It Them Who Gave Him The Opportunity To Use Them Against Themselves?

In This Life, Wisdom, Knowledge And Understanding Is Very Key. That's Why God Gave Us Brains... So That We Don't Have To Disturb Him Unnecessarily Over Trivial Matters.

Therefore, Let's Endeavour To Know The Cause Of A Problem, To Decipher If It Is A Spiritual Attack, Or Something That Just Require Common Sense, A Change Of Attitude, And Good Reasoning. In That Way, We Can Be Able To Pray The Right Prayers.

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EVANGELISM GONE SOUR

WELCOME Ladies And Gentlemen To Yet Another Episode Of "MY 2CENTS."
YES Today I Want To Strike On A Very Sensitive Issue. Now Before I Start, I Want To State That Whatever I Say Its Totally 'My Opinion.' Therefore, I Wouldn't Entertain Or Tolerate Anybody Dropping Silly Remarks In The Comment Section... THANKS!

Now BacK To The Matter.
One Day I Was Hanging With A Group Of Friends Chatting And Laughing When A Couple Of Christian Evangelizer Walked In On Us. I'm Not Gonna Mention The Church They Belonged, But They Were Most Definitely Not Jehovah's Witnesses. Because Somebody Reading Is Already Thinking In That Direction. :-) SORRY!

"Good Day Young Men" The Man Amongst The Three Of Them Said... Now What Got My Attention Was How The Two Ladies Who Came With Him Looked At Us Like We Were Some Bundle Of Guys Who Were Lost And Needed Deliverance From The Devil's Camp. Why Did I Say That? Because I Was Wearing My Earrings As You Can See On The Pic Attached To This Post, And One Of My Friends Had A Tattoo On The Neck And Other Had On The Arm. While The Others Were Just Casual, But You Could Tell That We All Belonged To Various Departments Of The Entertainment Industry.

The Brother Continued "Do You Guys Believe In JESUS?" And We All Responded With A Resounding "YES." And He Went Further To Ask, "Are You All Born Again?" Once Again We Sounded Another "YES" Now He And His Partners Were Amazed At The Response. :-) Now Knowing It Would Be A Hard Time Starting Conversation With Us, He Then Dropped A Deal Breaker By Asking, "Then If You Guys Are All Born Again, Why Do You Have Earrings On? And Why Do You Two Have Tattoos On? Don't You Know Its Bad And A Sin? At This Juncture I Responded By Saying "Are You Here To Judge Our Appearance, Or You Are Here To Minister To Us The Goodnews Of Jesus Christ? Now The Two Ladies Were Becoming Uncomfortable. To Cut The Long Story Short, We Got Down To The Bible And After A While They Noticed We Were Also Armed With The WORD, And They Were Running Out Of Verses To Back Up Their Points. And So We Called It A Day.

Its Really Funny The Method Most Religious Folks Apply In Trying To Preach The Gospel. Do They Think Capitalising On What They Think Is SIN Is What The Gospel Is About?

The Other Day I Was Observing A Lady Who Seems To Be Preaching, Telling A Couple Of Ladies That Wearing Trousers As A Lady Is A Sin. And This Same Lady Was Wearing A Polo Top And A Face Cap. And What Crossed My Mind Was, "Look At This Lady Condemning Trousers For Women, And Yet She Is Wearing A Polo Top And A Face Cap... I Guess That Was Meant For Women!."

I Really Think Evangelizers And Preachers Should Mind The Real Business They Were Commissioned For, And Not Leaving That To Start Discussing And Sweating On Irrelevant Issues. Yes We Know Premarital Sex, Lying, Stealing And Cheating Is A Sin. But Coming To Tell Us That The Shoe And Cloth I'm Wearing Is A Sin Is Another Thing Entirely.

Some Time Ago I Was Invited To A Church By A Friend, And On Getting There, One Of Ushers Refuse Me To Enter Because I Was Wearing My Earrings. He Told Me To Remove It Before I Enter. Boiii! Immediately I Turned Around And Left. I Mean Is The Church Now For Perfect Pretenders Or People Who Are True To Serving God Just The Way They Are? Even If I Was That Bad, Why Not Allow Me Enter The Church First And Let The WORD Of God Change Me Overtime As I Keep Coming. Afterall, The Church Wasn't Made For Perfect People, But For Imperfect People Working Towards Perfection!

Infact, Most Of This Folks Involved In Evangelism Should Go Learn Properly How To Win Souls For The Kingdom. Because Majority Are So Unskilled And Have Lost Focus Of What True Evangelism Is. As What They Are Doing Is Hardening The Heart Of Potential Souls, Rather Than Winning Them.

If You Are An Evangelizer Reading This And You Are In Any Way Guilty Of Not Preaching The Right Message, Then Go And Learn What The Right Message Is And Then Teach It. And Not Bringing Up Doctrines And Personal Sentiments Into The Gospel.
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CONVERSATIONS YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE ON A FIRST DATE

If You've Been Single For A While, You're Probably Used To The First Date Dance By Now: He Asks Where You're From Originally, You Ask About His Job. He Asks If You Prefer Red Or White Wine, You Ask About His Hobbies. It Usually Feels Like The Same Ol' Conversation Just With A Different Person, Unless You Stumble Across A Truly Magical (And Rare!) Amazing Date.

It Gets Really Old, We Know. And It Can Be Tempting To Rock The Boat And Bring Up Some Interesting Conversation Starters To Get The Banter Flowing.

But While You're Doing The Get-To-Know One Another Tango, It's Important To Not Step On One Another's Toes- Or The Possibility Of A Second Date Or Relationship- By Bringing Up Any Of The Following Conversations On A First Date:

1¤ TALKING ABOUT MONEY:

Depending On How Old You Are, Finding A Partner With A Steady Financial Future Might Be At The Top Of Your List. But If We're Honest, Nothing Takes The Fun, Energy Or Romance Out Of A Good Date Like Dropping The 'How Much Do You Make In A Year?' Or 'Do You Eventually Want To Buy A Home Of Your Own?' Question Prematurely. And Excuse Us, But It Might Come Across As A Little Gold-Digger Instead Of Potential Girlfriend Material. While You Might Be Curious To See Just How Much Student Debt He's In Or What You Might Be Getting Yourself Into, Keep The Topic Of Money Off The Table Until You've Had A Chance To See If You Want A Second Date. Plus- You're Just Fine Without Him, You Don't Need His Pay check To Have A Good Time, Do You?

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: After You Are Officially Dating.

2¤ TALKING ABOUT EXES:

This One Feels Like A No-Brainer, Right? But Get A Glass Of Gin Or Red Wine In You And Suddenly, You Have The Urge To Tell That One Story About That One Time Your Ex And You Did Something... Completely Unrelated To Your First Date With A New Guy.

Discussing The Past So Early Into A Could-Be Relationship Is Like Throwing Water On A Flame That's Barely Starting To Fluster. While It's Natural To Have Thought About Your Exes From Time To Time While Dating (Everyone Compares!), Opening Up That Floodgate Brings Up A Guy's Insecurities, Jealousy, And Possibly Encourages Him To Talk About Ex-Girlfriends Too.

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: A Few Months Down The Line, When You've Made It Official Already.

3¤ TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE:

Okay, Okay, Okay, We've All Been On A Really Killer First Date And Allowed Ourselves To Retreat To Never-Never Land With Visions Of White Lace And Blue-Eyed Babies. (And Fine, Monograms Too.) But Here's The Thing:

Before You Put The Cart Way Ahead Of The Horse, Take A Breathe And Savour The Moment Of The First Date. If He Does Happen To Be The Guy You'll Spend Forever-And-Ever With, This Is Your Last First Date... Ever. So Enjoy It! Hold Onto Those Moments Of Awkwardness And Sweet Tension, And Don't Bring Up Where He Sees Himself In A Few Years. Or If He Wants Children. Or About His Plans. The Discussion About What's Next Will Eventually Come (It Has To) But For Now, Focus On How Cute That Dimple Is On His Left Cheek And How Your Heart Races When He Brushes By Your Hand.

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: About Six Or Seven Dates In.

4¤ TALKING ABOUT FAMILIES:

You Might Talk About How Many Siblings You Have In A Cute 'You're Such A Middle Child!' Kind Of Way, But Bringing Up Heavy Family Topics (Like Sickness Or Feuds) Is Too Personal For The First Date. While It Might Not Seem Like A Big Deal To You, Family Matters Are Intimate Details That Shouldn't Be Shared With Just Anyone. In Fact, You Should Earn A Spot In Each Other's Lives Where Trust Is Fostered Before You Bring Up Things That Are Possibly Emotional.

Keep The First Date To Lighthearted Matters And Save The Heavy Stuff For When You're Falling In Love.

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: After You're Officially Dating.

What Topics Have Turned You Off On A First Date?

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NEVER REPORT WHAT YOUR EYES DIDN'T WITNESS

Yezzir! How Y'all Doing GREAT PEOPLE... I Believe Y'all Are Having A SWELL Time.

YES, Its Not New That Majority Engage In Hearsay Everyday Of Their Lives. Infact, Everybody Does At One Time Or The Other.

The Problem With This, Is That A Lot Of People Report What They Heard Like They Were Actually There To Witness What Happened. Some Even Go The Extra Mile To Add More To What They Heard For Effect, And Even Argue When You Try To Prove Them Wrong.

I Mean What Do You Gain By So Doing? I Am Not Saying Its Not Good To Report What You Heard Somebody Said, But When You Are Reporting It, Endeavour To Clear The Air By Saying "You Are Not Sure If Its True, But You Heard." Don't Go Spreading What You Heard Like You Actually Witnessed It With Your Eyes Or Ears.

Moreso, There Should Be A Limit To What You Report As Hearsay, Because There Are Certain Information That Should Be Heard From You As Hearsay, Especially If The Issue Is Very Sensitive. Like Telling Someone You Saw His Wife Or Her Husband With A Concubine, When You Only Heard But Didn't See It With Your Eyes. Even If You Saw It With Your Eyes, There Are Skillful Ways To Relate The Matter. Not By Just Opening Your Mouth To The Four Winds Of The Earth.

NOW To You Who Is Being Told, Do Not Capitalise On What You Heard, Learn To Do Your Own Findings Before Jumping Into Conclusions. Because A Whole Lot Of What People Report Ain't Actually True. Its Just A Reflection Of What They Want To Be True.

STOP REPORTING WHAT YOUR EYES DIDN'T WITNESS. It Could Be Dangerous To You The Bearer And Oftentimes The Hearer.

BE WISE!!!
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POTENTIAL SIGNS THAT HE IS GOING TO BE A WIFE BEATER

Spot A Potential Wife Beater Before You Marry Him!

Hitting, Shoving, Domestic Violence. Wife-Beating.
Shrouded In Fear, Shame And Guilt, So Many Women Are Afraid To Speak Out. Brutal Beatings Sometimes End In The Death Of One Or The Other Partner (Or Even Both Partners In Murder-Suicides) In The Worst Case Scenarios.

I Have Seen And Heard Of Ladies Who Get Into Relationships And Even With All The Warning Signs Of Potential Domestic Violence Screaming At Them, They Do Not Leave The Relationship.

When A Man Hits You While You Are Dating, It Bodes Ill For The Marriage As Problem Like This Only Get Worse.

So Ladies, Before You End Up Marrying This Smooth Talking And Rich Guy, Here Are Some Clues That He May Be Prone To Using His Fist:

1¤ FREQUENT TANTRUMS:

Does He Get Extremely Angry, Very Often? Watch Out. There Is No Reason For Overblown, Exaggerated Rage. There Is No Reason To Fly Off The Handle At Everything That Annoys You.

Everyone Has The Potential Of "Losing It" On Occasion, And Those Occasions Are Quite Usually For Serious Things. There Is A Difference Between A Tantrum And Mild Irritation. If A Man Throws Tantrums Like A Child, Watch Out! This Is A Wife Beater In The Making.

2¤ HITTING THINGS AND BREAKING THINGS WHEN ANGRY:

This May Look Like "At Least He Is Not Hitting Me", But For How Long Can You Take That Chance And Gamble On The Fact That Your Face May Or May Not Be The Next Thing That Is Broken In Two? If Your Boyfriend Punches The Wall Instead Of You, Do Not Take It As A Reassuring Sign. It Is Not. He Needs To Seek Help Or You Need To Help Yourself And Run!

3¤ UNREASONABLE SUSPICION AND JEALOUSY:

Pathologically Jealous People Are Prone To Extremes Of Behaviour. Is He Constantly Checking Up On You, Checking Your Phone, Asking To Know Your Whereabouts Down To The Last Detail? Does He Get Mad When You Interact With Other Males? Does He Read Wrong Meaning Into These Interactions? Does He Accuse You Of Cheating On Him With No Proof? Does He Tell You That He Is Being Protective, When He Is Confronted About This?

Obviously If You Have Broken Trust In The Past, Your Boyfriend Has A Right To Be Cautious. Still There Is Caution And Protectiveness And There Is Suspicion And Possessiveness. The Difference Between The Two Becomes Apparent When You Study The Interactions Of Other Ladies And Their Significant Others. Do Not Bury Your Head In The Sand.

4¤ OVER REACTION:

Does He Blow His Top Just Because You Burnt The Dinner And Come At You In A Heated Rage? Does He Get Angry Over Things That Most People Would Brush Aside? This Is Not A Good Thing. The Quality Of Self Control Or Impulse Control Is There To Make You Rein In Your Actions When Your Feelings Are Threatening To Take Over. A Man Who Consistently Over Reacts, Has Poor Impulse Control. The Next Time His Impulses Feel Like Giving You A "Beat-Down", He Will Just Give In.

5¤ HIS FATHER HIT HIS MOTHER:

Men Who Grow Up With Domestic Violence Are More Likely To See It As Normal, Than Those Who Did Not. In Most Cases We Replicate What We See, Either Because We Do Not Know Better (We Think It Is Normal Or Right); Or We Do Not Know Anything Different (We Know It Is Not Normal, But We Do Not Know Anything Else To Do). If Your Boyfriend's Father Hit His Mother, It Does Not Automatically Disqualify Him. You Both, However Will Need Counselling, Prayer And Mentorship To Guide You, So That You Do Not Fall Into The Same Bad Cycle. On The Flip Side, If Your Dad Hit Your Mother, You Too Are Likely To Fall For A Wife Beater Type. Please Be Extra Careful And Watch For Signs.

6¤ PREVIOUS EPISODES:

Did He Hit His Ex Wife? Did She "Make Him Do It"? He Will Most Likely Carry This Behaviour Forward. If He Hit His Ex-Wife Or Ex-Girlfriend And Has All The Excuses In The World, Sister-Girl, Pack Up Your Heart, Put It Back In Your Chest And Flee For Your Life! This Is Clearly A Man Who Has Anger And Violence Issues And Above All Is Unrepentant! Do Not Fall For The Lines: "She Was Difficult, She Was A Nag"; "You Are Different, You Bring Out The Best In Me". If At All Feasible, Try To Learn Of His Reputation From Other People Who Knew Him Before You Came Along. If He Says "I Have Changed" Watch Him In Potentially Challenging Situations. A Man Who Hit His Ex Will Have To Go Through Some Type Of Counselling Process Or Anger Management, To Quell "The Beast Within".

These Are Not Foolproof, And Domestic Violence Can Start After Marriage, Without Prior Signs. It Is However Surprising, And Scary To See Many Women Go Into Marriage Even With All The Above Screaming At THEM.

Do You Know Of Any Other Signs Of A Potential Wife Beater? I Would Love To Read Your Comments.

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THINGS YOU DO THAT MAKE YOU NOT SEEM LIKE A GIRLFRIEND/WIFE MATERIAL

So You've Been Hooking Up With This Guy For A Few Weeks, Maybe Even Months, But It Still Hasn't Really Progressed To The Next Level. He Hasn't Asked You Out To Dinner, Let Alone Asked You To Be His Girlfriend. And This Is About The Seventh Guy Who Has Done This To You.

Before You Get Ahead Of Yourself By Retiring To Being A Spinster All Your Life, Check Out This List. While In Some Cases It May Just Be That The Guy Isn't Looking For A Serious Relationship, It's Also Possible That You're Unintentionally Acting In Ways That Put You In The Hook-Up Or FWB Category, Rather Than The Girlfriend Or Wife Category.

1¤ YOU ACT LIKE YOU ARE HOT STUFF

Confidence Is An Awesome Trait, And No One's Saying You Shouldn't Flaunt It If You've Got It. But If You're Constantly Parading Around Like You Are On The Runway Of The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, Confidence Can Turn Into Unflattering Conceitedness.

"A Girl That Is Obnoxiously Loud And Acts Like She's Hot Sh*t The First Time You Meet Her Signals That She Is A B*tch," A Couple Of Guys Said.

"You Can't Really Talk To Those Types Of Girls. Maybe Guys Would Want To Hook Up With Them, But More Than Likely They Just Can't Stand Being Around Girls Like That. It's Much More Annoying Than It Is Attractive."

Would I Have To Constantly Feed Her Ego? Would I Always Be Waiting Three Hours For Her To Get Ready To Go Out? That's What Your Potential Boyfriend Would Ask Himself If You Can't Stop Bragging About That Time You Got Stopped On The Street Because You Were Mistaken For Beyonce Or Mercy Johnson.

If You Look Anything Like Beyonce Or Mercy Johnson, That's Amazing. But Play It Cool And Don't Act Like You Know It. Being Confident, Yet Down-To-Earth, Is A Gf/Wife Worthy Combination.

2¤ YOU HAVE A CAMPUS-WIDE REPUTATION:

Just Like You May Write Off A Dude Who Has Hooked Up With Half Of Your Friends And Is Always Seen Bringing A Different Girl Home Every Night, Guys May Be Reluctant To Date A Girl With That Reputation. Even If You're Interested In Settling Down, Getting Around A Lot Tends To Signal That You're Not Looking For Anything Serious Or Exclusive.

"Many Guys Don't Want To Date A Girl Who Is A Prude, And Also Don't Want A Girl That Your Boys Have Heard SEVERAL Stories About,"

A Guy Said "If You Ask Your Friends About A Girl And They Can Give You Graphic Stories On Graphic Stories About Things She's Done... She's Been Around Too Much. Girls Can Get Around, But Keep It Discrete. Once All That Spreads, She's Not Dateable In The Eyes Of Most."

If You Had A Wild Run Of Hook-Ups And Earned Yourself A Reputation, But Are Now Ready For A Relationship, Then Tone It Down And Lay Low For A Bit. Hang Out With Guys Instead Of Hooking Up With Them, And You Can Reinvent Yourself.

3¤ YOU NEVER PUT DOWN YOUR CELL PHONE:

"There's Nothing Worse Than A Girl That Is Clearly Glued To Her Phone, Yeah, You Know Who You Are, 'Girl That Tries To Be Clever And Not Think I Notice You Texting At Least Three Other Guys,' You're Showing To Me That You Have Other Options Than Me And That After We Hang Out You're About To Go To The Next Guy... Some Girls Think They're Really Sneaky About This Too, Which Just Makes It Worse."

Plus, If You're Always Texting Or Tweeting Or Instagramming When A Guy Is Trying To Talk To You, It Makes You Seem Uninterested And Not Invested In What He Has To Say. And If He Can't Count On You To Be There To Listen And Talk, He May Think He's Better Off Keeping You In The Friend With Benefit (FWB) Category.

4¤ YOU DON'T GET ALONG WITH HIS BEST FRIENDS

"If She Doesn't Get Along With Your Close Friends, Chances Are She's Not "The One,' " A Guy Says. "A Guy May Think That She's Chill, But If All Of His Closest Friends (Who Know Him The Best) Don't See It, Then She's Probably Not A Girlfriend/Wife Material. Or, The Dude Will Date Her Anyway And Realize She Is Miserable Three Months And Six Expensive Dinner Dates Later."

Try To Make An Effort To Get Along With His Crew. If They Are Unbearable, Then You May Want To Reconsider The Guy Because Those Are The People Closest To Him, Who He Chooses To Surround Himself With. That Can Be A Red Flag If Every Single One Of His Friends Drives You Crazy- Maybe He Will Too.

5¤ YOU TALK MORE SMACK THAN GOSSIP GIRL:

If You're Always Gossiping And Talking Behind People's Backs, Especially About Your Own Friends, The Guys You're Around May Consider You Catty, Shallow, And Disloyal-None Of Which Are Traits Of An Ideal Girlfriend.

Incessant Gossiping May Scare Guys Away Because If They Think You Love Drama (By Talking About It And Causing It), They Might Imagine That You Would Be Hard To Deal With In A Relationship, Or That The Relationship Would Be Full Of Fighting.

Instead Of Gossiping, Your Best Bet Is To Engage In Interesting Conversation With A Guy. "It's True That You Meet Most Girls In A Party Scene, But The Ones That Have Always Stuck Out To Me Have Been The Ones That Have Talked To Me About Things Other Than The Typical Topics Of Conversation.

If You Don't Mention At Least Something That Shows That You Know That There Is A Lot More In This World Than Inside Your College Campus, Then Don't Expect Anything More Than A One Night Stand.

6¤ YOU ARE WAY TOO CLINGY

If You Are CLINGY When You're Just Casually Hooking Up, Your Guy- Especially If He Likes His Space- May Be Freaked Out That The Clinginess Would Only Increase If You Were To Date.

Being Unbelievably Clingy Can Send Some Guys Running For The Hills.

If He Doesn't Respond To Your First Text, There's No Need To Quadruple Text Him. If He Has A Guys' Night Planned, Don't Try To Get Invited Or Make Him Feel Bad About Not Hanging Out With You. Making It Clear That You Enjoy Spending Time With Him But Have Your Own Life And Respect That He Has His Is Important For Many Guys.

It's Admirable When A Girl Has Her Own Strong Interests And Real Aspirations Separate From The Guy's "It Show That If You Were To Be In A Relationship With This Girl, She Would Have Other Things To Focus On Other Than The Relationship."

Typically, When Girls Have Nothing Else Better To Do Than Focus On Their Boyfriends, They Complain, And Ain't Nobody Got Time For That.

This List Is Definitely Not True For Every Single Guy Out There- Every Guy Has His Own Preferences And Pet Peeves. However, If You Notice That You're Guilty Of A Lot Of These Behaviours And Are Stuck In The Friend Or Hook-Up Zone, Making A Few Easy Adjustments Can Go A Long Way. And, If All Else Fails, You Can Always Settle For A Single Life All The Way.

For Those Who Wish To Contact Me On Further Disturbing Issue Regarding Any Of My Articles, Or Personal Issues... You Can Contact Me Using The Links Below...

www.twitter.com/ExzelDeeDollar

Exzeldee@gmail.com

BBM: 266BB759

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WHY LOVE LITERALLY HURTS?

Many People Believe That Love Is A Sensation That Generates When Mr Or Mrs Right Appears... No Wonder So Many People Are Single. Many People Approach A Relationship Either Consciously Or Unconsciously, They Believe Love Is A Sensation Based On Physical And Emotional Attraction That Magically/Spontaneously Generates When That Special Person Appears. And Just As Easily, It Can Spontaneously Degenerate When The Magic Just Isn't There Anymore. You Fall In Love, And You Can Fall Out Of Love. The Keyword Is Passivity. The Sad Consequence Of This Misconception Is: "There Is Hardly Any Activity, Any Enterprise, Which Is Started With Such Tremendous Hopes And Expectations And Yet, Which Fails So Regularly, As Love,"

Love Is The Attachment That Results In Deeply Appreciating Another's Goodness. See What We Value Most In Ourselves, We Value Most In Others. God Created Us To See Ourselves As Good (Hence Our Need To Either Rationalize Or Regret Our Wrong Doings). So, We Seek Goodness In Others. Nice Looks, An Engaging Personality, Intelligence And Talent (All Of Which Counts For Something) May Attract You, But Goodness Is What Moves You To Love. Trust Me! If That Person Doesn't See The Same Goodness In You, Love Is Not Possible Because It Really Takes Two To Love. I Like To Say Give And Receive.

Remember A Person Can't Love If They Don't Want To Be Loved. Love Is A Choice, If Love Comes From Appreciating Goodness, It Needn't Just Happen, Love Is Active. You Can Create It. Just Focus On The Good In Another. If You Can Do This Easily You'll Love Easily But Will Be Venerable To A Lot Of Fake Love In Return And Also Pain.

Obviously, There Is A Far Distance Between Personal Love And Unconditional Love. See Unconditional Love Is Rooted From Within... Only A Person Who Captures Your True Love Will Receive It... Because You See The True Goodness In Them. Actions Affect Feelings. How Can You Deepen Your Love For Someone? Actions Affect Our Feelings The Most. If You Want To Become More Compassionate, Thinking Compassionate Thoughts Will Be A Start. Giving Ultimately Is The Key. While Most People Think That Love Leads To Giving... The Truth Is Actually The Total Opposite, Giving Leads To Love. The First Action Of Giving Is Care, Demonstrating The Active Concern For A Person's Life And Growth. The Second Is Responsibility, Responding To Their Expressed And Unexpressed Needs, Especially Emotional Needs.

The Third Is Respect, The Ability To See A Person As They Really Are, To Be Aware Of Their Unique Individuality And Consequently, Wanting That Person To Grow And Unfold As They Are. These Three Actions All Depend On The Fourth, Knowledge. You Can Care For, Respond To, And Respect Another Only As Deeply As You Know Them.

The Effect Of Genuine Giving Is Profound. It Allows You Into Another Person's World And Opens You Up To Receiving Their Goodness. At The Same Time, It Means Investing A Part Of Yourself In The Other, Enabling To Love That Person As You Love Yourself . In Conclusion Love Is Also A Behavior, A Relationship Thrives When Two Partners Are Committed To Behaving Lovingly Through Continual, Unconditional Giving-- Not Only Saying, "I Love You" But Showing It! "I Love You" But Showing It! See, In The End Love Is Really Overrated And Inexplicable. People Come Into Your Life For A Reason, A Season Or A Lifetime. When You Know Which One It Is, You Will Know What To Do For That Person.

When Someone Is In Your Life For A REASON, It Is Usually To Meet A Need You Have Expressed. They Have Come To Assist You Through A Difficulty, To Provide You With Guidance And Support, To Aid You Physically, Emotionally Or Spiritually. They May Seem Like A Godsend And They Are.

They Are There For The Reason You Need Them To Be. Then, Without Any Wrongdoing On Your Part Or At An Inconvenient Time, This Person Will Say Or Do Something To Bring The Relationship To An End. Sometimes They Walk Away. Sometimes They Act Up And Force You To Take A Stand. What We Must Realize Is That Your Need Has Been Met, Our Desire Fulfilled, Their Work Is Done. The Prayer You Sent Up Has Been Answered And Now It Is Time To Move On.

Some People Come Into Your Life For A SEASON, Because Your Turn Has Come To Share, Grow Or Learn. They Bring You On Experience Of Peace Or Make You Laugh. They May Teach You Something You Have Never Done. They Usually Give You An Unbelievable Amount Of Joy. Believe It, It Is Real. But Only For A Season!

LIFETIME Relationships Teach You Lifetime Lessons, Things You Must Build Upon In Order To Have A Solid Emotional Foundation. Your Job Is To Accept The Lesson, Love The Person And Put What You Have Learned To Use In All Other Relationships And Areas Of Your Life. It Is Said That Love Is Blind But Friendship Clairvoyant. Thank You For Being A Part Of My Life Whether You Were A Reason, A Season Or A Lifetime.

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HOW MEN READ AND INTERPRET WOMEN'S SIGNALS

With All The Confusion Surrounding The Language Of Love, Many Men Would Find It Easier To Learn Japanese. So When Women Give More Mixed Signals Than A Traffic Junction, Men Try To Pare The Body- Data Down To The Basics, Relying On Their Intuition... And A Little Bit Of Shared Reconnaissance. So How Do They Interpret What You're Trying To Tell Them?

Here Are Ways They Are Reading Your Signals...

¤ THE EYE LINE:

It All Starts With The Eyes, So Be Warned: If You've Looked Across A Crowded Room And Held His Gaze For More Than Five Seconds, He Thinks You're Interested. Sure, You May Have Been Staring Because He Reminded You Of Someone, Or He Had A Big Piece Of Spinach In His Teeth, But You Held His Gaze, And That's Enough Of A Signal For Him To Consider Making A Move.

Conversely, If You're Trying To Play It Cool And Deliberately Not Catch His Gaze, Hoping Instead That Playing Coy Will Make Him Do The Running, You Could Be Disappointed. Most Men Will Take It As They See It: If You're Say, Fully Engaged In Conversation With Your Friends And Not Giving Any OF Yourself To The Room, He's Most Likely To Think You're Not Interested And Stay Away. Good News If You Want Him To; Less So If You Were Hoping He'd Pluck Up Courage And Come Over To Talk.

¤ BODY TALK:

If You're On A Date, Or Have Simply Just Met Someone In A Social Situation, The Guy You're With Is Going To Be Looking For Signs Of Interest. If You're Interested, Too, This Is When It's Best To Stop Being Too Cool For School And Abide By Some Of The Conventional Rules Of The Flirting Game. It May Seem Obvious, But Laughing At His Jokes, Smiling While He Talks And Touching His Hair Or Arm Are All Signals He Can Read Loud And Clear.

Take It A Little Further And Reach But To Him Physically And He'll Take That As A Flashing Green Light. Touch His Hand Lightly, Place Your Face Close To His, And Widen Your Eyes When He's Talking: These Are All Signs He'll Have No Trouble Reading. Equally, If Your Eyes Are Wandering, Glazed Over Or Just Plain Dead While He's Talking, That's Not Going To Go Unnoticed, Either.

Most Men Have At Some Point Felt The Distance Of A Disinterested Woman, And Know When They're On A Losing Streak. Not All Give Up When They Do, But When They Do, Many- Especially The Good Ones- Will.

¤ CONVERSATION MATTERS:

Men Feel That Women Drop Codes Into Their Conversation, Saying Things Without Actually Saying Them. For Example, If You're Talking About How Wonderful An Ex Was, That's Simply A Red Flag To Him That You're Not Over It. If You Talk About How Much Attention You Get From Men, He's Likely To Read It As A Signal To Back Off, That You're Telling Him He's Out Of Your League.

Conversely, Complain About A Bad Ex, Or Tell Him How Hard It Is To Meet Interesting Men, And That's A Signal For Him To Step Up. Hopefully He Won't Need Too Much Encouragement To Do So.

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