With Some People, It Almost Seems Like An Addiction: They Can't Stop
Making Excuses About Why They're Single. As A Relationship Therapist,
I Hear Some Pretty Wild Reasons, Too, But They All Remain Largely
Inaccurate. If You Are Someone - Man Or Woman- Who Makes Any Of The
Following Statements, It's Fair To Say That You Are Blamming Your
Singleness On The Wrong Factors. In Fact, The Savviest Thing You Can
Do Is To Accept That You're Single For Reasons That Are Totally Within
Your Control•
1අ THERE'S NO ONE TO DATE:
Now, Let's Be Honest For A Moment: Sometimes It Really Does Seem Like
A Lot Of The Good Ones Are Unavailable. For Most Men And Women, It's
Not Statistics That Keep Them Single- It's Making Excuses. Open Your
Eyes To The Romantic Choices Around You!
2අ ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE ALREADY MARRIED
Simply Put, This One Just Isn't True. Think About Who You're
Socializing With And The Kinds Of Places You Go. What You Need To Do
Is To Join Some Organizations Where Single People Congregate. The More
People You Meet, The More Connections You'll Make That Could Lead You
To Your Future Partner•
3අ I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT BEFORE I MEET SOMEONE:
Blamming Your Singleness On Your Weight Is Common- But Not So
Legitimate. Perhaps You've Gained A Few Extra Pounds Or Have Ways To
Go Until You Get Back To Your Goal Weight. It's Too Easy To Postpone
Dating Because You're Not Happy With Your Weight- You Gotta Fight
Those Inner Demons! Listen, What Are The Chances You're Ever Going To
Truly Love Your Body? Not That Great Right? SO Don't Put Off Finding
Someone•
You May Be Hard On Yourself And Set High Standards In Terms Of Your
Appearance And Body, But You Should Be Able To Find And Function Well
In A Romantic Relationship Whether You're Lighter Or Heavier. In All
Likelihood, You Have Created And Ideal In Your Mind Of What You Will
Look Like When You Meet That New Person, But Don't Write The Script
Before The Future Has Even Happened!
4අ I'M JUST TOO BUSY:
Unless You're Sleeping In A New City Every Night, Raising A Handful Of
Toddlers, Or Working So Many Jobs That You Can't Afford A Good Night's
Sleep, You Have Time To Date. You Might Not Love The Idea Of Putting
Yourself Out There And Dating, But Don't Kid Yourself Into Believing
That You Don't Have Time For It. Remember, mAKING Excuses Will Never
Help You Achieve A Goal. Perhaps You Don't Have Two Or Three Nights
Each Week To Allocate Toward Dating. But You Can Probably Find A Few
Hours Here And There. Time Management Is Critical When You're Busy, So
Consider Making A List Of All Your Daily Activities For The Week And
Try To Determine Where You Could Make More Efficient Use Of Your Time.
It Might Help To Set Aside One Part Of The Week-Say, Saturday
Afternoon- For New Dates, Thus Reserving The More Sacred Weekend
Evenings For Your Inner Circle•
5අ I ONLY MEET PEOPLE I LIKE ON VACATION:
POP QUIZ: What Does It Mean Psychologically If A Person Only Meets
People He Or She Likes When He Or She Is Out Of Town For Vacation Or
Work? If You're Someone Who Tells Yourself That All The Good Ones Just
Happen To Live In Every Other City Or Town Except The One Where You
Live, The Likelihood Is That You're Conflicted About Whether You
Really Want To Commit And Settle Down. In General, Men And Women Who
Always Find The One When They're Out Of Town Like The Idea Of Having
Someone, But The Day To Day Realities Of A Romantic Relationship At
Home Are Stressful For Any Number Of Reasons: You're Still Hurt From
Previous Relationship; You Aren't Sure You Want Someone Depending On
You; Or You Get Bored Easily. Think Long And Hard About What I Call
Your "Geographic Distortion."
The Only Way To Solve A Problem- In This Case, Wanting To Find A Happy
Relationship- Is To Start With Honesty. The Most COmmon Problem
Solving Style I See In My Therapy Work Is The Tendency In Men And
Women To Approach One Problem At A Time. My Response? No Sale! Though
It May Feel More Manageable To Attack One Problem At A Time, Coping
Well As An Adult Requires That You Do A Little Bit Toward A Bunch Of
Goals, All At The Same Time. Set Several Small Goals That Focus On
Your Romantic Life, Such As, Joining A New Gym, Starting An Exercise
Class, Volunteering For A Charity, And Taking A Class At A Local Art
Center. Opening Up Your Social Environment Can Help You Get Back Any
Mojo That You May Have Lost Along The Way, And These Activities Will
Take You Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Bring A Little Spice Back Into
Your Life!
Have You Ever Used Any Of These Excuses? Would Love To Hear About The
Reasons You Believe You Are Singleඅන්තර්ජාලය
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