THE TOP FIVE REASONS YOU SAY YOU ARE SINGLE

<@>Greatmindz<@>™
With Some People, It Almost Seems Like An Addiction: They Can't Stop
Making Excuses About Why They're Single. As A Relationship Therapist,
I Hear Some Pretty Wild Reasons, Too, But They All Remain Largely
Inaccurate. If You Are Someone - Man Or Woman- Who Makes Any Of The
Following Statements, It's Fair To Say That You Are Blamming Your
Singleness On The Wrong Factors. In Fact, The Savviest Thing You Can
Do Is To Accept That You're Single For Reasons That Are Totally Within
Your Control•

1අ THERE'S NO ONE TO DATE:

Now, Let's Be Honest For A Moment: Sometimes It Really Does Seem Like
A Lot Of The Good Ones Are Unavailable. For Most Men And Women, It's
Not Statistics That Keep Them Single- It's Making Excuses. Open Your
Eyes To The Romantic Choices Around You!

2අ ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE ALREADY MARRIED

Simply Put, This One Just Isn't True. Think About Who You're
Socializing With And The Kinds Of Places You Go. What You Need To Do
Is To Join Some Organizations Where Single People Congregate. The More
People You Meet, The More Connections You'll Make That Could Lead You
To Your Future Partner•

3අ I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT BEFORE I MEET SOMEONE:

Blamming Your Singleness On Your Weight Is Common- But Not So
Legitimate. Perhaps You've Gained A Few Extra Pounds Or Have Ways To
Go Until You Get Back To Your Goal Weight. It's Too Easy To Postpone
Dating Because You're Not Happy With Your Weight- You Gotta Fight
Those Inner Demons! Listen, What Are The Chances You're Ever Going To
Truly Love Your Body? Not That Great Right? SO Don't Put Off Finding
Someone•

You May Be Hard On Yourself And Set High Standards In Terms Of Your
Appearance And Body, But You Should Be Able To Find And Function Well
In A Romantic Relationship Whether You're Lighter Or Heavier. In All
Likelihood, You Have Created And Ideal In Your Mind Of What You Will
Look Like When You Meet That New Person, But Don't Write The Script
Before The Future Has Even Happened!

4අ I'M JUST TOO BUSY:

Unless You're Sleeping In A New City Every Night, Raising A Handful Of
Toddlers, Or Working So Many Jobs That You Can't Afford A Good Night's
Sleep, You Have Time To Date. You Might Not Love The Idea Of Putting
Yourself Out There And Dating, But Don't Kid Yourself Into Believing
That You Don't Have Time For It. Remember, mAKING Excuses Will Never
Help You Achieve A Goal. Perhaps You Don't Have Two Or Three Nights
Each Week To Allocate Toward Dating. But You Can Probably Find A Few
Hours Here And There. Time Management Is Critical When You're Busy, So
Consider Making A List Of All Your Daily Activities For The Week And
Try To Determine Where You Could Make More Efficient Use Of Your Time.
It Might Help To Set Aside One Part Of The Week-Say, Saturday
Afternoon- For New Dates, Thus Reserving The More Sacred Weekend
Evenings For Your Inner Circle•

5අ I ONLY MEET PEOPLE I LIKE ON VACATION:

POP QUIZ: What Does It Mean Psychologically If A Person Only Meets
People He Or She Likes When He Or She Is Out Of Town For Vacation Or
Work? If You're Someone Who Tells Yourself That All The Good Ones Just
Happen To Live In Every Other City Or Town Except The One Where You
Live, The Likelihood Is That You're Conflicted About Whether You
Really Want To Commit And Settle Down. In General, Men And Women Who
Always Find The One When They're Out Of Town Like The Idea Of Having
Someone, But The Day To Day Realities Of A Romantic Relationship At
Home Are Stressful For Any Number Of Reasons: You're Still Hurt From
Previous Relationship; You Aren't Sure You Want Someone Depending On
You; Or You Get Bored Easily. Think Long And Hard About What I Call
Your "Geographic Distortion."

The Only Way To Solve A Problem- In This Case, Wanting To Find A Happy
Relationship- Is To Start With Honesty. The Most COmmon Problem
Solving Style I See In My Therapy Work Is The Tendency In Men And
Women To Approach One Problem At A Time. My Response? No Sale! Though
It May Feel More Manageable To Attack One Problem At A Time, Coping
Well As An Adult Requires That You Do A Little Bit Toward A Bunch Of
Goals, All At The Same Time. Set Several Small Goals That Focus On
Your Romantic Life, Such As, Joining A New Gym, Starting An Exercise
Class, Volunteering For A Charity, And Taking A Class At A Local Art
Center. Opening Up Your Social Environment Can Help You Get Back Any
Mojo That You May Have Lost Along The Way, And These Activities Will
Take You Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Bring A Little Spice Back Into
Your Life!

Have You Ever Used Any Of These Excuses? Would Love To Hear About The
Reasons You Believe You Are Singleඅන්තර්ජාලය

LOOK INSIDE

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

Some People Believe The Reason They're Suffering Or Poor Is Because Of
The Kind Of Work They Do. That's Not True! The Problem Isn't In The
Kind Of Work They Do; Rather It's In Their Minds. Many Of Them Think
Their Success In Life Is Hinged On Making Money Through Hardwork, So
They Struggle Till They Get Frustrated•

When I Was Much Younger, I Knew I Would Never Be Poor. Not Just
Because Of What I Knew From The Word Of God, But Because There Were
Certain Things I Had Learnt To Do Properly: I Could Carve Out Creative
And Fashionable Designs Just By Sitting Down And Imagining Things, I
Could Draft And Structure Business Plans And Ideas That Were Of Great
Benefit To Others Who Were In Business, Even At A Very Tender Age, I
Could Wash Cars, Sew Clothes, And Make Hair And Also Effect Mechanical
And Electrical Repairs, Just By Watching My Parents Do Certain Things
In The House, And Also In Their Various Fields And Career. I Followed
Up Thoroughly Knowing If I Wanted To Choose Any Of The Above Field And
Career, I Would Be One Of The Best, If Not The BEST At It•

You Have The Capacity For Great Ideas, Therefore Look Inside You For
Them. Those Ideas, If Properly Harnessed, Are More Valuable Than
Money. If You Nurse Your Ideas Long Enough And Discipline Yourself In
Their Direction, You'll Become Very Good At What You Do After A While
And Money Will Eventually Come To You, For Money Is A SLAVE Of IDEAS•

Your Success, Prosperity And Greatness Are Not Determined By Your
Geographical Location Or By The Economy Of The Nation Where You
Function. Rather, Your Mind Is What Determines What You Become, For
With Your Mind You Can Change Everything Else. You Can Change The
State Of Your Nation And The Economy; You Can Change Anything If Only
You'll Have The Right Thoughts In Your Mind.

SHOULD YOU EVER SNOOP ON A PARTNER?

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

Realizing That There Are Many Different Issues Of Infidelity Is Just
About One Of The Most Difficult Circumstances A Couple Can Face.
Despite The Difficulty, Though, There Is A Possibility Of Resolution
When A Couple Is Hopeful About Staying Together, Willing To Forgive
Human Mistakes And Wanting To Move Forward In A More Loving Way•
A Surefire Way To Act Against Your Best Interests Is To "Snoop" Or Spy
On Your Partner If You Suspect Infidelity. Why Doesn't Snooping Work
For Any Relationship? Because It Involves Invading Someone's Privacy
And Breaching Trust. Human Beings Are Territorial. We Want Our Own
Space. When Someones Takes Away What Is Ours, We Usually React
Strongly, Going Into A Defensive Mode•
This Fact Is One Of The Strongest Reasons Why You Should Not Snoop.
Think About It: It Would Be A Useless Cause To Attempt To Get Facts Or
Information By Snooping, Because The Moment You Present The "Evidence"
To Your Partner, He Or She Becomes Aware That There Was A Breach Of
Privacy And Will React Defensively- Wouldn't You? Defensiveness Is
Coming From A "Fight Or Flight" Mentality And Is Not Conducive To
Having A Calm Discussion About What You Have Found Out In Your Private
Eye Session (Be It Negative, Neutral, Positive)•
If You Are Suspecting An Affair, You Can Actually Benefit From
Suggesting An Open Conversation With Your Partner. Here Are Some Tips
To Make It A Beneficial Discussion:

අ Choose A Calm And Safe Place That Both Of You Agree On•

අ Choose A Time When Both Of You Are Calm Enough To Have An Open Conversation•

අ Begin With Expressing Your Concerns And Fears, And Explaining Why
You Feel That Way•

අ State That Your Intention Is Pure Clarification; Don't Accuse•

අ Be Specific About Which Behaviours From Your Partner Made You Feel
Nervous Or Suspicious•

අ Take A Moment To Step Back And Actively Listen To
What Your Partner Has To Say•

අ Reflect Back What You Have Heard And Understood From Your Partner,
So As To Avoid Confusion And Misinterpretation•

අ It Is Extremely Important To Maintain A Calm Stance And Tone Of
Voice So Neither Of You Go Into A Fight Or Flight Zone•

අ If, While Snooping Around, You Do Find Evidence Of Infidelity, Work
Through Your Painful Emotions First Before Discussing Them With Your
Partner. Talk About Your Feelings With A Trusted Friend, Or Perhaps
Your Therapist. It Is Important To Acknowledge What You Are Going
Through, Because It Is In The Acknowledgement That You'll Realize You
Will Be Okay Through The Pain•

අ Emotional Pain Is Not Life Threatening. It Will Subside Eventually,
But You Need To Ride It Out. I'VE Seen A Lot Of Couples Decide To Stay
Together- Even After Infidelity. They Seek Counseling, Work Hard On
Rebuilding Trust And Explore Other Ways Of Relating With Each Other
That Works For Each One Of Them•

There Is Hope In Life's Most Difficult Circumstances. And When It All
Seems Unmanageable, Know That Sometimes You Can Truly Benefit From
Professional And Objective Insights•

What Do You Think- Is Anyone Ever Justified In Snooping?

CONNECTING THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA: THINGS TO CONSIDER

<@>Greatmindz<@>™

As Social Networking Sites Like Facebook And Twitter Become Less Of A
Novelty And Completely Ingrained Into Our Daily Lives, It's Becoming
Increasingly Common For Singles To Meet Through Social Media•

As Easy As It All Sounds, However, Issues Such As Privacy, Safety,
Fear Of Coming On Too Strong, And Sheer Volume Of People Using These
Sites Can Be So Overwhelming That Many Are Deterred From Pursuing It
As A Possible Dating Avenue. Lucky For You, I'm Here With Some Tips To
Help You Navigate Through It All!

1අ STICK TO MUTUAL FRIENDS:

When It Comes To Social Media, Safety Is A Valid Concern. I Mean, Who
Hasn't Squirmed Over One Of Those Awkward "Catfish" Moments When A
Lovestruck Girl/Guy Realizes Who He/She Was REALLY Talking To Online?
To Avoid A Dangerous Or Cringe-Worthy Scenario, I Recommend
Communicating With Someone Who Has At Least One Or Two Mutual Friends•

A Special Guy/Girl May Catch Your Eye Through A Photo, A Funny Link
He/She Posted On Your Friend's Timeline, A Witty Tweet, Or One Of The
Networks Themselves May Just Give You The Nudge You Need. Both
Facebook And Twitter Have Sections That Suggest People To Befriend Or
Follow Based On Your Interests, Location And Network Of Friends•

2අ SHOW YOU LIKE HIM/HER BY "LIKING" HIM/HER:

One Way To Get His/Her Radar (If You're Not Already) Is To Master The
Subtle Art Of "Liking" (Or "Favoriting" On Twitter.) If You're Not
Quite Ready To Put Yourself Out There And Send A Message, Start By
Liking Or Favouriting His/Her Statuses Or Tweets Here And There. If
He/She Tweets A Link To An Article About Something You're Passionate
About, Favouriting The Tweet Will Only Bring Your Name To The Top Of
His/Her Mind But Show That You SHARE An Interest. Just Don't OVERDO
It; Frequently Hitting That Like Button Seconds After His/Her Words
Float Into Cyberspace Can Come Across As OVERBEARING•

3අ START SMALL CONVERSATIONS:

After A Couple Of Well- Placed Likes, It's Time To Start The
Conversation. You Can Begin By Simply Responding To Something He/She
Posted On A Mutual Friend's Comment Thread Or Replying To One Of His
Tweets. A Casual, Thoughtful Response Will Make An Impression And Open
The Door For Interaction•

4අ SEND A MESSAGE:

If You're Getting Good Vibes From Your Interactions Thus Far, It's
Time To Pull The Trigger And Send A Message. The Message Doesn't Have
To Bare All; Simply Sending Him/Her A Link To An Article You Think
He/She'd Be Interested In Or Asking If He/She's Going To A Mutual
Friend's Upcoming Party Will Suffice. The Privacy Of A Message Can Be
All You Need To Get Him To Open Up And Allow The Two Of You To See If
There's A CONNECTION!

Have You Met Anyone Interesting Through Facebook Or Twitter? What Was
The Experience Like And Would You Recommend It?

CAN I GET PREGNANT FROM PRE-CUM?

While It'S Not Likely, It Is Possible. When A Guy Is Aroused, A Clear
Alkaline Liquid-- That'S Considered To Be Sperm Free Is Released To
Lubricate His Urethra (tHE Tube That Carries The Urine And Sperm Out
Of His Body), Preparing It For The Safe Passage Of Sperm When He Does
Infact Ejaculate•

But Any Sperm Left In The Urethra From A Previous Ejaculation Can Mix
With The Secretion. And, If His Little Swimmers Make Their Way Into
Your Vagina, You Can Get Pregnant. You Should Also Know That This
Fluid Can Transmit STDs, Such As HIV And Hepatitis. And, Other
Diseases, Such As Herpes, Can Be Passed Simply By Rubbing Against Each
Other's Genitals•

BOTTOM LINE: Since Exposure To Pre-Ejaculatory Fluid Can Lead To
Pregnancy, Play It Smart And Have Him Use A Condom. If You Add
Water-Based Lube, He'll Learn That Rubbing Against You Will Still Feel
Fabulous•