WHY AND HOW SOME LADIES GET PLAYED IN A RELATIONSHIP

Here Comes An Article From My Series "THE MIND OF A PLAYER."

Ooops! As A Guy I Shouldn't Be Sharing This, As It Is Regarded As Giving Out Too Many Secrets On How The Typical Player Mind Works. But I'm Doing So Because I Oftentimes Feel Sorry For Most Single/Married Ladies Out There Who Walk Around Thinking They Know What It Is That Goes On In A Man's Mind When It Comes To Relationship And How Most Men Seek Desperate Ways To Knock Down A Lady.

Therefore, I'd Advice If You Are A Single Lady Who Wants A Serious Relationship, Or Into One Already. Then Take Your Time To Follow Up On This Series By Reading This Article. And As A Married Lady You Should Too, As You Might Pick Up One Or Two Things.

First, I Want To Kick Off On A Spiritual Note. And I'm Gonna Be Quoting In Part From The Amplified Version Of Ephesians 5:22 And 25 Respectively To Drive Home A Point, And I Quote In Part "Wives Be Subject (Be Submissive And Adapt Yourselves) Unto Your Own Husbands...." 25 "Husbands, Love Your Wives..."

Now Somebody Is Thinking... How Does This Relate To Singles? Yes It Does, Because It Carries A Lot Of Spiritual Weight And Order Concerning How Relationship/Marriage Should Be.

First, Note How It Said Women Should Subject Themselves. Doesn't That Say Something? That Shows Women Might Have A Hard Time Being In Subjection... And Men Might Have A Hard Time "LOVING." Else, Why Didn't Those Passage Say "Men Submit, And Wives LOVE." That Shows Both Often Fall Short In These Areas, And So That Was Written To Remind Both Parties On Where To Work On To Build A Successful Marriage.

Now That You Know Men Have A Hard Time "LOVING." We Can Now Go Into WHY AND HOW MOST LADIES GET PLAYED IN RELATIONSHIPS.

Men Know That Women Are Wired To LOVE Naturally With Ease, But What Makes A Guy Decides To PLAY On A Lady Is How She Carries Herself, The Way She Talks And The Attitudes She Displays.

I Want To State Here That Ladies Who Play Hard To Get, And Those Who Place A Guy On Conditions To Date Him, Are The Main Target And Victims Of A PLAYER.

A True PLAYER Doesn't Play On A Lady Who Is Free, Open And Genuine. Rather Than Play On Such A Lady, He Would Rather Quit Or Withdraw From The Relationship At An Early Stage To Avoid Wasting Her Time And Hurting Her So Badly.

PLAYERS Study And Know What Is Peculiar To Any Lady... Moreso, They Are The PERFECT Pretender. They Know Exactly What To Do At The Right Time To Make A Lady Feel Loved.

Moreso, As Much As We Have PLAYERS... So We Have Desperate MEN...This Men Could Go Any Length To Humiliate A Lady. At This Juncture, I'll Be Sharing With You On The Experience Of A Couple Of Ladies...

I'm Gonna Be Hitting On Some Grievous Mistakes Some Ladies Innocently Or Deliberately Make When Wanting To Date. And Oftentimes, The Devil Uses It As A Way To Frustrate Some Ladies.

Sometime Ago, I Met A Lady Who Insisted That Any Guy She Would Date Or Marry Must Be Wealthy... Hence, She Ended Up Dating Wealthy Guys Who Continuously Dated And Dumped Her Afterwards. As Much As There Is Nothing Wrong In Dating Wealthy Guys, Your Motives Could Actually Be Misunderstood And Used Against You... Hence She Fell Prey To Guys Who Knew Her Intentions Were Not Pure.

Secondly, There Was A Catholic Lady Who Insisted Any Man She Would Date Or Marry Would Be Catholic As Well, Hence, A Guy Who Wanted Her Badly Became A Catholic Just To Get Married To Her. Unfortunately, Immediately The Priest Declared Them Husband And Wife, The Guy Renounced His Membership As A Catholic From That Day. Now Tell Me What Would Be The Fate Of That Lady?

Another Incident, Is One Of That Should Be An Eye Opener To Our Ladies Who Are Virgins, And Those Who Stand For "No Sex Till After Marriage." And So There Was This Lady Who Said "The Man That Would Disvirgin Her Must Be Her Husband" And So The Guy Went To The Extent Of Doing Introduction And Traditional Marriage... Just After The Man Disvirgined Her, His Attitude Changed, Till He Finally Left Her. Not To Mention That There Are Strange Men Out There Who Seek Virgins, Not Because They Want Them As A Wife, But To Disvirgin Them... Which Is Sometime A Requirement For Some Guys/Men Who Belong To A Secret Society To Make Wealth. So Be Mindful Of Who You Brag About Your Virginity To.

I Remember Approaching A Lady With Clear Intentions Of Wanting To Date And Marry Her If Things Worked Out Well. Though I've Known Her For Some Time Before Making A Move. She Just Looked At Me, Smiled! And Asked, "Do You Have An Apartment Of Your Own? I Said NO! That I'm Squatting With A Friend.

... Then She Told Me That Before We Go Into Anything Serious That I Should Go First, Get An Apartment And Furnish It Before She Would Be Ready To Date Me.

I Went Home Knowing She Wasn't The Kinda Girl I Thought She Was, I Then Made Up My Mind To Punish Her For Giving Me Such A Condition. A Month Later, I Called Her And Told Her That Everything She Asked Me To Do Is Now Set. She Came Around, Confirmed It And Then She Agreed To Date Me. As Time Went On, 2months Into The Relationship, I Called Her One Day, And Told Her I Was No Longer Interested In The Relationship. What She Didn't Know Was That I Already Had My Own Apartment Before I Approached Her. But Because Of The Conditions She Placed On The Relationship Which Proved She Was Being Materialistic, I Decided To PLAY On Her, To Prove To Her That LOVE Is Beyond All That.

NOTE: Their Are Guys Who Are Out There To Experiment On Girls,... So As A Young Girl, You Are Into Teenage Relationship Thinking It Would Lead To Marriage, Nine Out Of Ten Times You Are Wrong.

Most Importantly To Every Single Lady Out There... That He Cares And Does Nice Things For You, Calls And Texts You Every Second Doesn't Always Mean He Loves You... It Could Be That There Is Something He Seeks, And Until He Gets It... He Wouldn't STOP. Even Though It Means MARRYING YOU To Get It. That's Why You See Some Marriages Starts Crashing Just After The WEDDING.

OPEN YOUR EYES, USE YOUR HEAD AND STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF. And If You Really Want To Be Safe, STAY TRUE To GOD. Don't Deceive Yourself By Trying To Show To Men That You Are Giving Certain Conditions Because You Want To PLEASE GOD. When In Other Areas Of Your Life GOD Isn't There.

So Much To REVEAL... But CATCH Me On The Next One.

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WHEN FIGHTING, ARGUING, YELLING, AND SCREAMING IS A GOOD THING IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

I Know This Is True For Me... Check Out And See If It's True For You As Well.

I Bet It Is...

Here Is What Happens...

One Or Both Of You Get Triggered About Something That The Other Says Or Does... You Defend And Argue Your Point...

Then You Either Withdraw And Clam Up Or Keep Trying To Prove You're Right By Getting Louder And More Insistent.

...And The Really Crazy Thing That Happens When You're In The Middle Of A Fight Or Argument Is That Little Voice In Your Head That's Throwing Its Own King Sized Temper-Tantrum.

In The Middle Of These Kinds Of Fights And Arguments, Very Often You Find Yourself Thinking Things About Your Spouse Or Partner Like...

"You Don't Love Me..."

"I Hate You..."

"l'll Show You. I'm Going To Have An Affair..."

"I Should Have Never Dated/Married You In The First Place..."

"My Mother Was Right About You, And I Can Finally See It..."

You Might Even Say Out Loud Some Of These Things That You Don't Really Mean (Just To Get Your Point Across) And That You Later Regret.

Your "Fight" Doesn't Get Resolved But Eventually The Two Of You May Ease Your Anger Enough To "Get Along"-- Until The Next Time.

Sounds Frustrating And Pretty Dismal, Doesn't It?

I Found Out That It Doesn't Have To Be That Way.

You Can Use These Arguments And Fights To Find Out What You Really Want (It's Usually Not What You Think You're Fighting About)...

And Get A Resolution To The Real Issue That's Underneath The Obvious Cause Of The Disconnection.

The Next Time You're In The Middle Of An Argument Or Out-Right Fight With Your Spouse Or Partner, Take An Energetic Step Back And Notice How That Inner Voice Inside Your Head Says All Kinds Of Crazy Things To You In The Heat Of The Moment.

Then Look Underneath Of All Of That Monkey-Mind Talk And What You Think The Argument Is About And Ask Yourself...

"What Is It That I'm REALLY Wanting Here?"

That's A Place Where You Can Communicate From Because It's Softer, Perhaps More True And Authentic.

If You Have Trouble Coming Up With The "Right" Words To Use During Arguments To Invite Your Partner To Finding A Solution That Both Of You Want, Then You Might Need To Work On Yourself, By Contacting A Relationship/Marriage Counsellor, Or Magic Words Programmes That Would Give You The Tools.

Looking Underneath The Self-Talk And Surface Conflict Is Also A Place To Build TRUST.

When You're Honest About What You Want And You Can Listen To Your Partner's Honest Answers, You Can Begin Building Trust Again If It's Been Broken.

Some People Think It's Not Good To Argue-- But I Say That It's Always A Good Thing When You Can Turn Disagreements Into Helping You Get To The Bottom Of What You Want And Actually Set The Stage For Feeling Closer And More Loving In Your Relationship.

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PRAYING AMISS

Its Often A Common Prayer Point To Hear People Pray Against Their Enemies. As Much As I Have My Reservations Regarding That, I Want To State That Not All Prayer Points That Is Called Directly Concerns You. Now Back To The Issue...

Most Times The Things People Pray For Are Totally Issues That Often Requires Common Sense, The Application Of Knowledge, Wisdom And Possibly A Change Of Attitude Or Character.

Imagine Someone Whose Bad Attitude Towards His/Her Customers In Business Has Made Him/Her Loose Customers And Potential Customers Alike. And As Such Business Starts Deteriorating. And In Church Or Mosque You Start Praying Against The Enemy Working Against The Prosperity Of Your Business. WHAT? Can't You See You Are Your Own Enemy? Seriously, Majority Of The People Who Pray Sometimes Pray SELF DESTRUCTIVE Prayers. That's Why Most People Don't Get Answers To Their Prayers. Because If God Was To Strike Any Enemy Dead On Your Case, He Would Just Strike You Dead.

What Majority Require As Solutions To Their Travails Is Sometimes A Major Self Reassessment, And Not Fighting An Enemy That Only Exist In The Person Of Yourself.

In All, I Do Not Underestimate The Power Of Prayers Over Any Circumstance. But Its Only Wise That We Know What The Problem We Are Addressing Is Before Praying. Because What Some Of Us Call Prayer, Is A Complete Disturbance To GOD.

Now Somebody Is Saying "Isn't It The Devil At Work In A Person That Makes Him/Her Act In A Certain Way That Makes Them Put Up An Attitude That Makes Them Loose Customers In Business?" Well, That To An Extent Is True, But Do We Now Say The Devil Is Responsible For Every Wrong We Do? The Answer To That Is A Capital "NO." Because Even The Devil Himself Would Be Saying To God... "God, Can You See Your Child Lying Against Me?"

The Truth Is That Most People Are Their Own Enemy, And The Devil Has Nothing To Do With It. Even If He Has, Isn't It Them Who Gave Him The Opportunity To Use Them Against Themselves?

In This Life, Wisdom, Knowledge And Understanding Is Very Key. That's Why God Gave Us Brains... So That We Don't Have To Disturb Him Unnecessarily Over Trivial Matters.

Therefore, Let's Endeavour To Know The Cause Of A Problem, To Decipher If It Is A Spiritual Attack, Or Something That Just Require Common Sense, A Change Of Attitude, And Good Reasoning. In That Way, We Can Be Able To Pray The Right Prayers.

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EVANGELISM GONE SOUR

WELCOME Ladies And Gentlemen To Yet Another Episode Of "MY 2CENTS."
YES Today I Want To Strike On A Very Sensitive Issue. Now Before I Start, I Want To State That Whatever I Say Its Totally 'My Opinion.' Therefore, I Wouldn't Entertain Or Tolerate Anybody Dropping Silly Remarks In The Comment Section... THANKS!

Now BacK To The Matter.
One Day I Was Hanging With A Group Of Friends Chatting And Laughing When A Couple Of Christian Evangelizer Walked In On Us. I'm Not Gonna Mention The Church They Belonged, But They Were Most Definitely Not Jehovah's Witnesses. Because Somebody Reading Is Already Thinking In That Direction. :-) SORRY!

"Good Day Young Men" The Man Amongst The Three Of Them Said... Now What Got My Attention Was How The Two Ladies Who Came With Him Looked At Us Like We Were Some Bundle Of Guys Who Were Lost And Needed Deliverance From The Devil's Camp. Why Did I Say That? Because I Was Wearing My Earrings As You Can See On The Pic Attached To This Post, And One Of My Friends Had A Tattoo On The Neck And Other Had On The Arm. While The Others Were Just Casual, But You Could Tell That We All Belonged To Various Departments Of The Entertainment Industry.

The Brother Continued "Do You Guys Believe In JESUS?" And We All Responded With A Resounding "YES." And He Went Further To Ask, "Are You All Born Again?" Once Again We Sounded Another "YES" Now He And His Partners Were Amazed At The Response. :-) Now Knowing It Would Be A Hard Time Starting Conversation With Us, He Then Dropped A Deal Breaker By Asking, "Then If You Guys Are All Born Again, Why Do You Have Earrings On? And Why Do You Two Have Tattoos On? Don't You Know Its Bad And A Sin? At This Juncture I Responded By Saying "Are You Here To Judge Our Appearance, Or You Are Here To Minister To Us The Goodnews Of Jesus Christ? Now The Two Ladies Were Becoming Uncomfortable. To Cut The Long Story Short, We Got Down To The Bible And After A While They Noticed We Were Also Armed With The WORD, And They Were Running Out Of Verses To Back Up Their Points. And So We Called It A Day.

Its Really Funny The Method Most Religious Folks Apply In Trying To Preach The Gospel. Do They Think Capitalising On What They Think Is SIN Is What The Gospel Is About?

The Other Day I Was Observing A Lady Who Seems To Be Preaching, Telling A Couple Of Ladies That Wearing Trousers As A Lady Is A Sin. And This Same Lady Was Wearing A Polo Top And A Face Cap. And What Crossed My Mind Was, "Look At This Lady Condemning Trousers For Women, And Yet She Is Wearing A Polo Top And A Face Cap... I Guess That Was Meant For Women!."

I Really Think Evangelizers And Preachers Should Mind The Real Business They Were Commissioned For, And Not Leaving That To Start Discussing And Sweating On Irrelevant Issues. Yes We Know Premarital Sex, Lying, Stealing And Cheating Is A Sin. But Coming To Tell Us That The Shoe And Cloth I'm Wearing Is A Sin Is Another Thing Entirely.

Some Time Ago I Was Invited To A Church By A Friend, And On Getting There, One Of Ushers Refuse Me To Enter Because I Was Wearing My Earrings. He Told Me To Remove It Before I Enter. Boiii! Immediately I Turned Around And Left. I Mean Is The Church Now For Perfect Pretenders Or People Who Are True To Serving God Just The Way They Are? Even If I Was That Bad, Why Not Allow Me Enter The Church First And Let The WORD Of God Change Me Overtime As I Keep Coming. Afterall, The Church Wasn't Made For Perfect People, But For Imperfect People Working Towards Perfection!

Infact, Most Of This Folks Involved In Evangelism Should Go Learn Properly How To Win Souls For The Kingdom. Because Majority Are So Unskilled And Have Lost Focus Of What True Evangelism Is. As What They Are Doing Is Hardening The Heart Of Potential Souls, Rather Than Winning Them.

If You Are An Evangelizer Reading This And You Are In Any Way Guilty Of Not Preaching The Right Message, Then Go And Learn What The Right Message Is And Then Teach It. And Not Bringing Up Doctrines And Personal Sentiments Into The Gospel.
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CONVERSATIONS YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE ON A FIRST DATE

If You've Been Single For A While, You're Probably Used To The First Date Dance By Now: He Asks Where You're From Originally, You Ask About His Job. He Asks If You Prefer Red Or White Wine, You Ask About His Hobbies. It Usually Feels Like The Same Ol' Conversation Just With A Different Person, Unless You Stumble Across A Truly Magical (And Rare!) Amazing Date.

It Gets Really Old, We Know. And It Can Be Tempting To Rock The Boat And Bring Up Some Interesting Conversation Starters To Get The Banter Flowing.

But While You're Doing The Get-To-Know One Another Tango, It's Important To Not Step On One Another's Toes- Or The Possibility Of A Second Date Or Relationship- By Bringing Up Any Of The Following Conversations On A First Date:

1¤ TALKING ABOUT MONEY:

Depending On How Old You Are, Finding A Partner With A Steady Financial Future Might Be At The Top Of Your List. But If We're Honest, Nothing Takes The Fun, Energy Or Romance Out Of A Good Date Like Dropping The 'How Much Do You Make In A Year?' Or 'Do You Eventually Want To Buy A Home Of Your Own?' Question Prematurely. And Excuse Us, But It Might Come Across As A Little Gold-Digger Instead Of Potential Girlfriend Material. While You Might Be Curious To See Just How Much Student Debt He's In Or What You Might Be Getting Yourself Into, Keep The Topic Of Money Off The Table Until You've Had A Chance To See If You Want A Second Date. Plus- You're Just Fine Without Him, You Don't Need His Pay check To Have A Good Time, Do You?

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: After You Are Officially Dating.

2¤ TALKING ABOUT EXES:

This One Feels Like A No-Brainer, Right? But Get A Glass Of Gin Or Red Wine In You And Suddenly, You Have The Urge To Tell That One Story About That One Time Your Ex And You Did Something... Completely Unrelated To Your First Date With A New Guy.

Discussing The Past So Early Into A Could-Be Relationship Is Like Throwing Water On A Flame That's Barely Starting To Fluster. While It's Natural To Have Thought About Your Exes From Time To Time While Dating (Everyone Compares!), Opening Up That Floodgate Brings Up A Guy's Insecurities, Jealousy, And Possibly Encourages Him To Talk About Ex-Girlfriends Too.

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: A Few Months Down The Line, When You've Made It Official Already.

3¤ TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE:

Okay, Okay, Okay, We've All Been On A Really Killer First Date And Allowed Ourselves To Retreat To Never-Never Land With Visions Of White Lace And Blue-Eyed Babies. (And Fine, Monograms Too.) But Here's The Thing:

Before You Put The Cart Way Ahead Of The Horse, Take A Breathe And Savour The Moment Of The First Date. If He Does Happen To Be The Guy You'll Spend Forever-And-Ever With, This Is Your Last First Date... Ever. So Enjoy It! Hold Onto Those Moments Of Awkwardness And Sweet Tension, And Don't Bring Up Where He Sees Himself In A Few Years. Or If He Wants Children. Or About His Plans. The Discussion About What's Next Will Eventually Come (It Has To) But For Now, Focus On How Cute That Dimple Is On His Left Cheek And How Your Heart Races When He Brushes By Your Hand.

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: About Six Or Seven Dates In.

4¤ TALKING ABOUT FAMILIES:

You Might Talk About How Many Siblings You Have In A Cute 'You're Such A Middle Child!' Kind Of Way, But Bringing Up Heavy Family Topics (Like Sickness Or Feuds) Is Too Personal For The First Date. While It Might Not Seem Like A Big Deal To You, Family Matters Are Intimate Details That Shouldn't Be Shared With Just Anyone. In Fact, You Should Earn A Spot In Each Other's Lives Where Trust Is Fostered Before You Bring Up Things That Are Possibly Emotional.

Keep The First Date To Lighthearted Matters And Save The Heavy Stuff For When You're Falling In Love.

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: After You're Officially Dating.

What Topics Have Turned You Off On A First Date?

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