Separate Issues. You Must Be Assured Of Your Own Emotional Health And
Have Created A List Of Qualities That You Want And Don't Want In A
Relationship Partner. You Also Must Have Developed The Ability To
Actively Listen. "Active Listening" Is A Way Of Absorbing Who A Person
Is, By The Things They Say. It's About Asking Questions And
Empathizing With Their Answers. This Type Of Listening Is The Best Way
To Quickly Determine If The Person Sitting Across From You Is A Good
Potential Mate.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF:
During A First Date, Volumes Of Personal Information Are Exchanged. As
A Person Talks About Their Life, They Reveal What Sort Of People They
Have As Friends, What Their Hobbies Are, Their Level Of
Responsibility, Their Anger Level, Their Opinions On The Opposite Sex,
And On And On. These Clues Are Usually Wrapped Inside Stories Or
Observations, But To The Person Who Is Focused On Listening, They Are
Loud And Clear. It Is Usually Best Arrange For A First Date To Be In
Setting Where You Can Spend Unlimited Time Talking And Sharing. When
You Do, You Can Learn Enough During The First Date To Decide If This
Is A Relationship That Should Move Ahead.
BECOMING AN EXPERT OBSERVER:
The Best Way To Get The Maximum Information From Someone Is To Get
Them Talking And Then Listen. Often Times The Most Basic Questions
Like, "Do You Like Your Job?" Are The Most Revealing. If Someone
Spends 15 Minutes Explaining How They Hate Their Job But Cannot Seem
To Leave, You Can Discern Some Very Valuable Information About Their
Level Of Day To Day Happiness. I Encourage You To Start With The
Simple Questions. "As You Listen To What The Person Says, You Can Ask
Follow-Up Questions In A Natural Way, And You Can Move Toward More
Meaningful Topics. You Want To Discover What The Person Enjoys About
His Daily Experience, Whether He/She Is Happy And Why."
PINPOINT THE FAMILY HISTORY:
Perhaps The Most Important Indicator Of Whether A Person Would Be A
Good Relationship Partner Is Their Relationship With Their Parents. By
Directing The Conversation To Family History You Can Quickly Learn A
Great Deal Of Information About How This Person Will Behave In An
Intimate Relationship. Also Important Here Is Information On The
Marriage Of This Person's Parents. It Is A Natural Tendency For
Individuals To Re-Live The Marriage That Was Modeled For Them As
Children. A Traumatic Childhood Would Be A Warning Sign Worth
Considering.
ACTS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS:
While Some People Are Skilled At Talking In Ways That Hide Their True
Natures, Their Actions Invariably Reveal A Great Deal About Whom They
Are. By The End Of A First Date You Have Witnessed: A Person's Phone
Manner, Their Punctuality, Their Manner, Their Respect For Service
Employees, As Well As An Entire Host Of Other Behaviours That Reveal
Their Values And Beliefs. It's Crucial That You Assess Your Date's
Judgment. If The Individual Knows How To Make Consistently Wise
Decisions, He Or She Will Almost Certainly Contribute Consistently To
The Strength And Health Of The Relationship. So Your Task Becomes One
Of "Judging Your Date's Judgments."
Lastly, Intuition Plays A Part In Deciding If This Person Is Someone
You Would Like To Continue Seeing. Do You Feel Comfortable Around This
Person? Can You Be Yourself? Even If Nothing You Have Heard During
Your Date Seems To Be A Warning Sign, You Must Still Honour That
Feeling That Says Something Is Wrong. With Some People, You Feel A
Need To Live Up To Their Expectations, Preference And Strongly Held
Opinions. With Others, You Experience A Kind Of Total Acceptance And
Unconditional Affirmation That Sets You Free At A Deep And Fundamental
Level.
Attention Not Only To What The Person Says And Does But How You Feel
At The End Of The Evening Is The Key To Making A Wise Relationship
Decision.
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