WAYS TO BETTER YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER

Inspiring Your Partner To "Greatness" Is Not Rocket Science. To
Paraphrase The Wisdom Of The Golden Rule: Simply Be The Partner You
Want To Have.

Here Are Six Ways To Begin:

1* SAY YES:

From The Moment In Adolescence When We Start Caring What Other Boys Or
Girls Think Of Us, The Word "Yes" Becomes A Kind Of Romantic Holy
Grail We Seek Like A Questing Knights. We Want To Hear, "YES, I'll Go
To The Dance With You. YES, We Should Hang Out. Yes, I Like You." It
Is The Clearest Sign That We Are Worth Something. Yet As We Get Older,
A Mindless Habit Of Negativity Often Sets In. Along The Way We Learn
To Resist One Another For No Apparent Reason. Who Knows Why? The Point
Is, If You Want Your Partner To Be More Affirming And Positive, Try
Going With The Flow Yourself More Often. Practice The Magical Power Of
"YES."

2* SAY NO WHEN YOU MUST... BUT LOVINGLY AND RESPECTFULLY:

Of Course, There Are Times When "YES" Is The Wrong Answer, Period.
There Is Nothing Magical About Failing To Protect Your Boundaries And
Your Autonomy. But It Is Equally Important That, When You Have Reason
To Disagree With Your Partner, You Do So In A Way That Safeguards
Their Dignity. Too Many Relationships Are Poisoned By A "NO" That Is
Unnecessarily Harsh Or Mocking. Guard Against Giving Them The Idea
That They Are Being Scolded. Respect Is Contagious, So Give It Freely
And It Will Come Back To You.

3* BE LOYAL:

Okay, That Sounds Like A Girl Scout Motto. But Too Many Women And Men
Take Any Opportunity To Trash Talk Their Partners Around Friends And
Family, Sometimes Even When They're Present. If You Have Developed
That Harmful Habit, Cut It Out. No One Enjoys Public Critism. If You
Have Something On Your Mind, Talk To Them-In Private. They Are Sure To
Notice And Reward You For It, By Giving You The Same Courtesy.

4* LOOSEN UP:

Feeling Caged By Too Little Freedom In A Relationship Will Bring Out
The Lion In Anyone. Preempt The Problem By Giving Them Plenty Of
Space. That Is Not To Say You Should Have No Expections Of Them,
Especially As The Relationship Advances. But Heavy-Handed Possessive
Is A Great Way To Put Anyone On The Defensive. When You Keep A Light
Touch, They'll Relax, And So Can You.

5* GIVE THEM A PUSH:

There Comes A Time In Nearly Every Person's Life When The Dream That
Propelled Them Forward Seems To Be Receding Further Out Of Reach.
Maybe He Or She Has Faltered. Maybe They Are Stuck In The Daily Grind
Of Life. Maybe They've Gotten Plain OL' Lazy. Then It's Time For You
To Give Them A Gentle Nudge-Or A Firm Shove-By Reminding Them Of Their
Terrific Potential. Believe The Best About Them, And Tell Them So.

6* LISTEN:

Paying Attention To What Your Partner Has To Say Is One Of The Highest
Possible Expressions Of Romantic Affection. Most Of Us Go Through The
Day Relatively Unnoticed And Unheard-by Bosses, Co-Workers, Even
Friends And Family Members. Be The Excepion In Their Life. Listen, And
Show Them You Are Deeply Interested In Who They Are And What They Case
About.