If You're One Of The Millions Of Women Who Are Single, Dating
Regularly, And Yet You've Had Inconsistent Luck In The Match Game, It
May Be Time To Do Some Introspection. I Can't Begin To Tell You How
Often I Hear Complaints About Scarcity Of Quality Guys. I Hear It In
The Dating Echo Chamber With Alarming Regularity: "Men Don't Want To
Commit!"
Okay, Let Me Clear That Last Bit Up. The Idea That Guys Won't Commit
Or Don't Want To Commit Is An Unabashed Fallacy. I've Said This
Before, It's Not ThAT The Guy Won't Commit- He Just Won't Commit To
You. The Right Guy For You Will Find You. That's A Guarantee•
Now, About This So-Called "Quality Guys" Drought... Complete Bunk.
Seriously, Most Of The Guys I Know Who Are Looking For Serious
Relationships Bristle At That Statement. Because They Know A Certain
General Truth That Women Don't Seem To Appreciate: That The Quality
Guys Are There But You're Either Ignoring Them Or Not Giving Them The
Opportunity To Show You How Great They Are.
The Bigger Issue: Wgy Does This Chasm Exist? There Are Obviously
Variables Aplenty That Cause These Missed Connections. But I Would
Submit That The Idea Of "Deal Breakers" Is A Major Culprit•
We All Have Relationship Deal Breakers. That Handful Of Key Traits
That Any Potential Partner Must Possess In Order To Stay In The Game.
Quite Frankly, We All Should Have Them. However, Our Deal Breakers
Should Be Meaningful. I Like To Have Women Break Their Do-Or-Dies Into
Two Seperate Groups: Shallow Deal Breakers And Substantive Deal
Breakers. We Should Have Both But With The Understanding That The
Major Emphasis Should Be Placed On The Substantive Kind. You'd Think
That That Would Be A Given. I Mean, Of Course, The Substance Should
Take Precedence Over The Shallow•
Unfortunately, What We Know Doesn't Always Inform Our Actions. So, Let
This Be Your Reminder. Keep Your Priorities In Order. Examples Of
Shallow Deal Breakers:
*. Must Be This Tall
*• Must Have This Colour Of Hair
*• Must Have This Type Of Degree
*• Must Make This Six-Figure Salary
*• Must Come From This Kind Of Family
*• Must Look Like George Clooney
•••Those Should Ultimately Be Seen As Great-To-Haves Instead Of Must-Haves•
The Real Stuff, The Substantive Stuff, Is What's Going To Get You
Through The Years. You Want To Find The Quality Guys? Use These As
Your New Deal Breaker Template:
#1• HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS SHOULD BE GREAT PEOPLE:
You Want A Real Guage On What Kind Of Guy You're Getting Involved
With? Observe His Friends. The Type Of People In Your Potential
Partner's Inner Circle Will Say A Lot About His Character•
#2• HE SHOULD BE CALM UNDER PRESSURE:
Long-Term Relationships Are Rife With Emotional Highs And Lows. That
Being The Case, The Person Closest To You Had Better Be Someone Who
You Can Count On To Not Only Be In Control Of His Emotions But To Be A
Steadying And Comforting Influence When Times Aren't Quite As Great•
#3• MUST BE IN PURSUIT OF HIS PASSION-
Maybe He Doesn't Make Six Figures. Heck, Most People Don't. But He Had
Better Be Driven By Something Other Than Money. Far Too Often Women
Get Involved With Guys Because They Have A Juicy Bank Account, Then
They Get Serious With That Guy And Realize That The Man Whose Passion
Is Making Money May Never Have Enough Money. This Then Creates The
Real Possibity That Mr. Moneymaker May Only Have Time To Make Money
And Not Have Time•
#4• MUST APPRECIATE YOUR INDEPENDENCE-
You're Your Own Opinions, Perspectives And Aspirations. Whether You're
Traditional And Expect To Be A Stay-At-Home Mum Or A Lady With Dreams
Of Being President And CEO, Your Guy Had Better Be On Board With You.
Do NOT Commit That Typical Mistake Of Trying To Change Your Guy's Mind
By Trying To Get Him To Understand Your Position. The Right Guy
Requires No Convincing•
#5• YOUR FRIENDS SHOULD LIKE HIM-
This Isn't To Say That Your Judgment Should Be Completely Coloured By
Your Friend's Opinions, BUT If There's A Collective Aversion To Your
Guy By Your Inner Circle, It's Definitely Time To Start Asking
QuestiOns•
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