THE WRONG REASONS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

You Meet An Amazing Man And INSTANTLY Fall For Each Other. FOR A While, Things Are Perfect. He's Loving, Affectionate, And You Share Things You've Never Shared With Anyone Else Ever Before. You Start To Believe That He Could Finally Be The One.

But Then Things Start To Shift... And He Becomes Distant And Withdrawn. Instead Of Being Present And Wanting To Talk And Share With You, He's Often Distracted, Irritated And Doesn't Seem As Happy Just To See You And Be With You.

And Then It Happens. Out Of The Blue He Says Something Like, "I Really Care About You, But I'm Just Not Ready For A Serious Relationship Right Now." Of Course You're Devastated And Completely Taken Off-Guard. Were You The Only One Feeling How Great You Were Together?

Was There Something Wrong With Him? Was He Afraid Of Commitment? Or Maybe... Just Maybe You Got In The Relationship And Started Moving Towards A Committed Relationship With This Man For The Wrong Reasons.

Most Women Never Set Out To Find And Fall Into A Relationship For The Wrong Reasons, But It's An Unfortunately Common Process. Here Are Some Of The Wrong Reasons To Get Involved In A Relationship:

1 ► AVOIDING THAT LONELY FEELING:

Another Weekend Rolls Around... But You Have No One Special To Share It With. YOU Get Into Your Bed At Night Alone And Wonder, "I'm A Great Woman. Why Don't I Have A Real Partner To Share My Life With?" You Might Not See It... But On An Unconscious Level, The Struggles Of A BAD RELATIONSHIP May Actually Be More Comfortable And Familiar To You Than The Idea Of Being Alone.

When You Fear Being Alone, You're Much More Likely To Make Bad Choices And End Up Getting Involved With And Staying In Bad Relationships Because It Distracts You From Feeling Lonely.

2► FILLING THE VOID:

If You Believe That A Loving Relationship Will Ease The Emptiness Inside You, The Harsh Reality Is That No Relationship Is Ever Going To Be Able To "Fill You Up." And If You Try, It's Almost Certain That The Man In Your Life Will Start To Sense This And Be Turned Off And Not Want Your Relationship To Work Or Last. Once The Easy Emotional Connection And Satisfaction Of "New Love" Wears Off... You'll Find That You're Not "Filled Up" After All And No Matter What He Does Or Says, Ultimately It Won't Be Good Enough... Or Feel Good Enough For You.

This "VOID" Is The Very Thing That Makes You So Vulnerable To The Wrong Relationships In The First Place- It Will Lead You To Get Involved Not Because A Man Or A Relationship Is Right For You... But Because You Are Driven To Fill The Void.

3► CAVING IN TO SOCIAL PRESSURE:

Are A Bunch Of Your Friends Married, Engaged, Or Falling Deeper Into Lasting, Committed Relationships With Great Guys? If So, Odds Are It's Having A Strong Impact On The Way You're Thinking And Feeling. Seeing The Love And Luck That Other Women Have In Relationships Can Make You Feel An Intense Level Of Pressure To Find The Right Lasting Relationship Now. Ironically, Your Intense Desire To Have A Great Relationship Than You Are In Him And How He Actually Feels When He's With You.

4► YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MATERIAL AND FINANCIAL NEEDS:

The Craving To Have Someone Take Responsibilities For The Things You Lack, Can Be Very Devastating. Cause The Moment He Doesn't Meet Up In This Areas, Your Actions And Reactions Begins To Send The Wrong Signals To Your Man, And Before You Know It, He Begins To Withdraw. If Going Into A Relationship For You Is To Rely Solely On Your Partner To Have Your Financial And Material Needs Met, Then You Are In For The Wrong Reasons.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT ALL OF THIS

If You Feel Like You End Up Repeating The Same Kind Of Painful Experience Or Situations In Your Relationships, And You Want To Get Off The Wheel... What Should You Do Now? Before You Do Anything, You Likely Need To Stop Letting Yourself Feel Out Of Control- Only You Own And Control Your Life. Once You Take The Control Back, You Can Start Taking Steps To Bring About The Change You Want.

A Great First Step Is To Seek Out Amazing Resources And Information That Will Help You Quickly Grow And Learn.

If You're Ready To Stop Getting In Relationships For All The Wrong Reasons, Take The Time To Help Yourself Let The Woman Inside Shine- The Woman Who A Man Will Quickly Fall For. If You're Ready For A Change, We Can Help.

Just Follow Up On Our Subsequent Articles, Or Send Me A Message Or Mail Exzeldee@gmail.com
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WHY IS FINDING TRUE LOVE SO CHALLENGING?

We All Have A Desire To Love And Be Loved. We Experience Different Levels Of Love From Parents, Siblings, Friends, And Others. But Most Of Us Also Want To Find That Special Someone We Can Share A Deeper Level Of Love With. Finding True Love Can Seem Incredibly Difficult, And It's Often Hard To Understand Why. A Big Question To Consider First Is, "What Is My Definition Of True Love?" Understanding What We Mean By "True Love" Can Help Us See What We're Really Seeking And Why Or Why Not It's Working.

The World Tosses Around The Word LOVE Very Loosely. LOVE Is Often Associated With Intense Feelings That, In Truth, Are Self-Centered And Non-Committal. In So Many TV Shows, We See Characters Who Follow Their Hormones And Have Sex Before Marriage. When "LOVE" Is Shallowly Rooted In Pleasant Emotions Or Physical Feelings, It Turns Off As Easily As It Was Turned On. NOW, There's Nothing Wrong With Wanting To Experience Good Emotions Toward The Person We Love; However, If That Is The Foundation Of The Relationship, The Relationship Is In Trouble. If The Kind Of "LOVE" We See Demonstrated In Today's Sex-Saturated Culture Is What We're Looking For, No Wonder It Seems Difficult To Find; It's Not True Love We're After But An Experience That, By Nature, Can't Last For Long.

The Bible Gives A Much Different Picture Of Love. TRUE LOVE Is Of GOD- In Fact, HE Is LOVE (1 John 4:8) And HE's The One Who Put The Need To Love And Be Loved In Us.

Therefore, Understanding HIS Design For Love Is Crucial. True Love, According To The Bible, Is Rooted In Sacrifice, Commitment, And An Impulse To Benefit The Loved One (See John 15:3). GOD's Love For Us Took HIS Only Begotten Son JESUS CHRIST To The Cross. WE Know For Certain That Jesus Was Not Experiencing "HAPPY" Emotions On His Way To The Cross (Luke 22:42-44).

The Bible Describes Our Relationship To Jesus As That Of A Bride And Bridegroom (Matthew 9:15; Ephesians 5:32). True Romantic Love Is Designed To Lead To And Grow Within A Marriage Commitment (Genesis 2:24) And Should Be Rooted In Sacrifice.

Any Number Of Things Could Make Finding True Love, According To GOD's Design, Difficult. Here We Will Focus On A Few Big Obstacles That We Face:

1) Thinking There Is Only One "Right" Person For Us:

This Is A Lie That Can Keep Us Fearful That We're Settling For Less Than The Best. Waiting For One's Perfect "Soul Mate" To Show Up Can Be A Long Wait. Whomever We Choose To Marry Becomes The "Right" One For Us, Because We've Made A Lifetime Commitment To That Person. The Bible Has Narrowed The Field: Our True Love Must Be A Believer Who Is Living For The Lord (2 Corinthians 6:14-15); Beyond That, GOD Will Provide Wisdom And Discernment (James 1:5). Except Of Course You Are A Non Believer Yourself!

2) Thinking That A Person Will Or Can Fulfill Us:

Only God Can Truly Fulfill Us, So We Don't Have To Find Romantic Love To Have A Sense Of Fulfillment! None Of Us Are Perfect, And To Expect Another Imperfect Human Being To Meet Every Need Is Unrealistic, Unhealthy, And Can Only Lead To Disappointment.

3). Not Being Willing To Change Or Grow:

It's Easy To Imagine The Kind Of Person We Would Love To Be In Love With, But How Much Effort Do We Expend In Becoming That Kind Of Person Ourselves? We All Have Our Own Issues That We Must Address With God's Help In Order To Be The Kind Of Person HE Desires Us To Be. It Can Be Tempting To Think That Finding True Love Will Magically Solve Those Issues. But Being In A Close Relationship With Someone Will Not Fix Our Problems; It Is More Likely To Expose Them More. This Can Be A Rewarding Part Of The Relationship, As Iron Sharpens Iron (Proverbs 27:17), If We Are Willing To Change And Grow. If We're Unwilling To Change, The Relationship Will Be Strained And Could Eventually Be Destroyed. This Does Not Mean That Every Personal Issue Must Be Dealt With Before We Get Married.

Rather, We Should Get Into The Practice Of Asking God To Show Us What Things Need To Be Cleaned Out Of Our Lives (Psalm 139:23). As We Become The People God Wants Us To Be, We Will Be Better Suited For Whatever Relationships Are In Store.

4). Thinking It's Too Late To Find True Love:

Finding True Love And Getting Married Is An Important Step And Not To Be Taken Lightly. A Cautious Step Is Better Than A Quick And Reckless One. Three Times, The Song Of Solomon Warns, "Do Not Arouse Or Awaken Love Until It So Desires" (Song Of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4). GOD's Timing Is Always Best.

We Know That GOD Cares About Our Desire To Find True Love. When We Fully Surrender That Desire To Him, We Release The Burden Of Trying To Make True Love Happen Ourselves (Matthew 11:29-30).

Love Is An Essential Quality Of God, And HE Shows Us In The Bible How Real, True Love Works. Redefining Love Or Trying To Find It Outside Of God's Design Is Asking For Frustration And Disillusionment.

Surrendering Our Desires To God, Submitting To His Will, And Finding Our Fulfillment In HIM Are The Keys To Finding True Love. "Take Delight In The Lord, And He Will Give You The Desires Of Your Heart" (Psalm 37:4).
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WHEN YOUR PARTNER BECOMES SILENT AND PULLS AWAY

Imagine This...

You've Just Come Home After A Busy Work Day And You Just Want To Relax But You Can't...

Without Looking At You Or Even A "Hello," Your Partner Immediately Starts Telling You What Has To Be Done That Evening.

And When You Don't Answer Because You're A Bit Overwhelmed By All Of It, Your Partner Starts Complaining That You Never Do Anything Around The House To Help And Wants To Talk About What's Wrong With Your Relationship.

You Try To Listen And Respond But The "Right" Words Just Don't Come And It Ends Up In A Horrific Fight And You Don't Know How It Happened.

Not A Lot Of Fun, Is It?

Pretty Much An Automatic Shut-Down, Isn't It?

I Know This Scenario Isn't True For Every Couple But It Is True For More Than You Can Imagine...

... Because Opposites Do Attract And This Very Moment In Time (Or Something Very Close To It) Really Is Familiar For Many Men And Women.

We Don't Like To Generalise But In Our Research, Many Women Want Their Man To Open Up And Are Frustrated Because He Won't Talk.

And Many Men Are Equally As Frustrated Because They Feel Pushed Into Talking And Sharing-- And Have Learned To Automatically Withdraw And Shut Down When She Even Looks Like She Wants To Talk.

Now Of Course Both Women And Men Do This Unconsciously And Most Are Just Automatically Doing What They Were Shown And Learned To Do To Get Their Needs Met Early In Their Lives.

But It Really Doesn't Have To Be That Way.

Infact, It's Just The Opposite.

You Don't Have To Go On Automatic Pilot And "Push" To Get Heard And Understood

And You Don't Have To Go Into Automatic Shut-Down Every Time Your Partner Starts To Talk To You.

You Can Learn To Provide A Safe Space For Your Partner To Open Up And Talk To You And Here Are 2 Steps That Can Help...

STEP 1:

It May Seem Counter-Intuitive But The Way To Create More Safety For Your Partner To Be Honest With You Is To Look At How You Listen To Him Or Her. Step Back And Look At Your Daily Interactions...

¤ Do You Constantly Make Your Partner Wrong, Even Over Little Things-- In The Guise Of Helping?

¤ Do You Jump To Finish His Or Her Sentences?

¤ Do You "Take Care Of Him" By Doing Emotions For Him Because You Think He's Too Uncomfortable To Do Them Himself? (e.g. Telling Him What He's Feeling When He May Not Feel That Way At All!)

If You Do These Things, Don't Beat Yourself Up-- But Know There's A Better Way To Have The Love And Connection You Want And You Can Learn It!

So STEP ONE Is Take An Assessment And Then Stop Doing What You May Be Doing Without Realising It To Push Your Partner Away.

STEP 2:

If You Do Step 1 And Your Partner Does Start To Reveal Himself Or Herself To You, Even In Small Bits And Pieces, Just Listen. Stop Yourself From Jumping In To Comment, To Make Him Or Her Wrong (Even If You Think You Don't Do This) Or Whatever Else Comes Naturally For You To Do That Pushes Your Partner Away.

The Trick Here Is To Learn How Your Partner's Automatic Shut-Down Happens As Well As Your Automatic Responses So You Can Take Another Course Of Action.

You Don't Have To Be Frustrated Because Your Partner Clams Up And Won't Talk To You.

You Can Learn How To Help Him Or Her To Open To You So Love Flows Freely Between The Two Of You
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IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING YOU'LL FIND A WAY

"If You Really Want Something You'll Find A Way. If Not You'll Find An Excuse."

How Long Can You Hang In And Continue To Push? When Everyone Else Gives Up, Will You Be That One Person Who Continues To Strive For Greatness? Just Because It Is Hard To See A Way Out Doesn't Mean That There Isn't, So You Have To Continue To Hang On Even When It Seems Popular For Others To Let Go And Give Up.

Those Who Obtain Greatness Are Outnumbered By Those Who Aren't Ever Able To Achieve It Because It Takes A Lot Of Heart To Dare To Believe In Success That Seems So Far Out Of Reach.

You Have Not Yet Lived Your Best, And You Have To Do Your Part And Believe That More Success Is Coming Your Way. Believe That Though Things May Be Challenging Right Now, They Can And Will Change With An Unshakeable Faith, And A Very Determined Will, You'll Reach The High Places You Are Destined To Reach.
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WHAT ARE RICHES?

We Have To Know What It Means To Be Rich, And Where It Is That Successful People Make Their Money.

Does Being Rich Mean Having More Money Than Your Friends Or Family? Does It Mean Being Able To Compare Yourself To This Country's Or The World's Richest Men And Women, Or Does It Mean Never Having To Worry About Money Again? The Term Rich Can Vary Greatly, So What Does Being Rich Really Mean To You?

Virtually Anyone You Meet Wants To Be Rich In The Monetary Sense. Nearly Everyone In Life Wants To Make More Money. The Truth, However, Is That Being Truly Rich In Life Isn't Just About Having More Money. Many People Have Made The Mistake Of Believing This.

Money Should Be Seen As It Is- Just A Tool For Getting Things Done. The More Money You Have, The More Things You Can Get Done. You Must Realize Money Is Merely A Means To An End, And Not An End In Itself.

Being Truly Rich In Life Means Having Many, Many Other Things More Important Than Money, Such As More Fulfilling And Rewarding Relationships, Good Friends, A Satisfying Career, A Happy Family, And Enjoyment Of Life To The Fullest. It's About Living A Long And Healthy Life- Both Physically And Spiritually- Being Honest With Yourself And Others, And Having Strong Values And Beliefs. And It's About Maintaining And Emitting Positive Energy And Directing It Into Every Decision You Make, And Every Moment You Are Alive.

Many People Mistakenly Say, "If Only I Had More Money, I'd Be Happy." Money Can Certainly Make Life Easier, More Comfortable, More Secure. It Can Open More Doors, Take You Places You've Never Been, And Allow You To Meet People You'd Otherwise Never Have Met. But The Bad News Is That It Cannot Buy You Happiness. Many Unfortunate People Have Fallen Into This Trap And Don't Realize It Until It's Too Late. They Reach Their Goal Of Having A Very Big House, But Cannot Call It A Home- It's An Empty Place With No Warmth And No One To Share It With. They Have A Big Boat But No Real Friends To Sail It With Them. This Is The Ultimate Punishment- A Realization Too Late That They've Wasted Their Lives Pursuing The Wrong Thing.

The Pursuit Of Money Without Regard To Its Consequences Can Be A Very Disappointing And Unrewarding Experience. Anyone Who Is Rich Financially But Poor Emotionally And Spiritually Is Simply A Bankrupt Soul.

Such People Are Usually Surrounded By Others Who Are Similarly Misguided- Who Also Have Few True Values. THEY Continue To Spend Their Money In The Hope That The Next Purchase Of Something They Don't Need Will Give Them The Riches They're Seeking.

Being Financially Rich Can Fool Others Into Thinking You're Happy; However, You Cannot Run Away From Yourself And Cannot Lie To The One Person Who Really Knows You. BEING Rich Is About Striving For Balance In All Aspects Of Your Life. Your Challenge Is To Find The Balance That Is Right For You. THEN And Only Then Can You Declare Yourself Truly Rich.
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