CONVERSATIONS YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE ON A FIRST DATE

If You've Been Single For A While, You're Probably Used To The First Date Dance By Now: He Asks Where You're From Originally, You Ask About His Job. He Asks If You Prefer Red Or White Wine, You Ask About His Hobbies. It Usually Feels Like The Same Ol' Conversation Just With A Different Person, Unless You Stumble Across A Truly Magical (And Rare!) Amazing Date.

It Gets Really Old, We Know. And It Can Be Tempting To Rock The Boat And Bring Up Some Interesting Conversation Starters To Get The Banter Flowing.

But While You're Doing The Get-To-Know One Another Tango, It's Important To Not Step On One Another's Toes- Or The Possibility Of A Second Date Or Relationship- By Bringing Up Any Of The Following Conversations On A First Date:

1¤ TALKING ABOUT MONEY:

Depending On How Old You Are, Finding A Partner With A Steady Financial Future Might Be At The Top Of Your List. But If We're Honest, Nothing Takes The Fun, Energy Or Romance Out Of A Good Date Like Dropping The 'How Much Do You Make In A Year?' Or 'Do You Eventually Want To Buy A Home Of Your Own?' Question Prematurely. And Excuse Us, But It Might Come Across As A Little Gold-Digger Instead Of Potential Girlfriend Material. While You Might Be Curious To See Just How Much Student Debt He's In Or What You Might Be Getting Yourself Into, Keep The Topic Of Money Off The Table Until You've Had A Chance To See If You Want A Second Date. Plus- You're Just Fine Without Him, You Don't Need His Pay check To Have A Good Time, Do You?

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: After You Are Officially Dating.

2¤ TALKING ABOUT EXES:

This One Feels Like A No-Brainer, Right? But Get A Glass Of Gin Or Red Wine In You And Suddenly, You Have The Urge To Tell That One Story About That One Time Your Ex And You Did Something... Completely Unrelated To Your First Date With A New Guy.

Discussing The Past So Early Into A Could-Be Relationship Is Like Throwing Water On A Flame That's Barely Starting To Fluster. While It's Natural To Have Thought About Your Exes From Time To Time While Dating (Everyone Compares!), Opening Up That Floodgate Brings Up A Guy's Insecurities, Jealousy, And Possibly Encourages Him To Talk About Ex-Girlfriends Too.

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: A Few Months Down The Line, When You've Made It Official Already.

3¤ TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE:

Okay, Okay, Okay, We've All Been On A Really Killer First Date And Allowed Ourselves To Retreat To Never-Never Land With Visions Of White Lace And Blue-Eyed Babies. (And Fine, Monograms Too.) But Here's The Thing:

Before You Put The Cart Way Ahead Of The Horse, Take A Breathe And Savour The Moment Of The First Date. If He Does Happen To Be The Guy You'll Spend Forever-And-Ever With, This Is Your Last First Date... Ever. So Enjoy It! Hold Onto Those Moments Of Awkwardness And Sweet Tension, And Don't Bring Up Where He Sees Himself In A Few Years. Or If He Wants Children. Or About His Plans. The Discussion About What's Next Will Eventually Come (It Has To) But For Now, Focus On How Cute That Dimple Is On His Left Cheek And How Your Heart Races When He Brushes By Your Hand.

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: About Six Or Seven Dates In.

4¤ TALKING ABOUT FAMILIES:

You Might Talk About How Many Siblings You Have In A Cute 'You're Such A Middle Child!' Kind Of Way, But Bringing Up Heavy Family Topics (Like Sickness Or Feuds) Is Too Personal For The First Date. While It Might Not Seem Like A Big Deal To You, Family Matters Are Intimate Details That Shouldn't Be Shared With Just Anyone. In Fact, You Should Earn A Spot In Each Other's Lives Where Trust Is Fostered Before You Bring Up Things That Are Possibly Emotional.

Keep The First Date To Lighthearted Matters And Save The Heavy Stuff For When You're Falling In Love.

WHEN TO TALK ABOUT IT: After You're Officially Dating.

What Topics Have Turned You Off On A First Date?

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NEVER REPORT WHAT YOUR EYES DIDN'T WITNESS

Yezzir! How Y'all Doing GREAT PEOPLE... I Believe Y'all Are Having A SWELL Time.

YES, Its Not New That Majority Engage In Hearsay Everyday Of Their Lives. Infact, Everybody Does At One Time Or The Other.

The Problem With This, Is That A Lot Of People Report What They Heard Like They Were Actually There To Witness What Happened. Some Even Go The Extra Mile To Add More To What They Heard For Effect, And Even Argue When You Try To Prove Them Wrong.

I Mean What Do You Gain By So Doing? I Am Not Saying Its Not Good To Report What You Heard Somebody Said, But When You Are Reporting It, Endeavour To Clear The Air By Saying "You Are Not Sure If Its True, But You Heard." Don't Go Spreading What You Heard Like You Actually Witnessed It With Your Eyes Or Ears.

Moreso, There Should Be A Limit To What You Report As Hearsay, Because There Are Certain Information That Should Be Heard From You As Hearsay, Especially If The Issue Is Very Sensitive. Like Telling Someone You Saw His Wife Or Her Husband With A Concubine, When You Only Heard But Didn't See It With Your Eyes. Even If You Saw It With Your Eyes, There Are Skillful Ways To Relate The Matter. Not By Just Opening Your Mouth To The Four Winds Of The Earth.

NOW To You Who Is Being Told, Do Not Capitalise On What You Heard, Learn To Do Your Own Findings Before Jumping Into Conclusions. Because A Whole Lot Of What People Report Ain't Actually True. Its Just A Reflection Of What They Want To Be True.

STOP REPORTING WHAT YOUR EYES DIDN'T WITNESS. It Could Be Dangerous To You The Bearer And Oftentimes The Hearer.

BE WISE!!!
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POTENTIAL SIGNS THAT HE IS GOING TO BE A WIFE BEATER

Spot A Potential Wife Beater Before You Marry Him!

Hitting, Shoving, Domestic Violence. Wife-Beating.
Shrouded In Fear, Shame And Guilt, So Many Women Are Afraid To Speak Out. Brutal Beatings Sometimes End In The Death Of One Or The Other Partner (Or Even Both Partners In Murder-Suicides) In The Worst Case Scenarios.

I Have Seen And Heard Of Ladies Who Get Into Relationships And Even With All The Warning Signs Of Potential Domestic Violence Screaming At Them, They Do Not Leave The Relationship.

When A Man Hits You While You Are Dating, It Bodes Ill For The Marriage As Problem Like This Only Get Worse.

So Ladies, Before You End Up Marrying This Smooth Talking And Rich Guy, Here Are Some Clues That He May Be Prone To Using His Fist:

1¤ FREQUENT TANTRUMS:

Does He Get Extremely Angry, Very Often? Watch Out. There Is No Reason For Overblown, Exaggerated Rage. There Is No Reason To Fly Off The Handle At Everything That Annoys You.

Everyone Has The Potential Of "Losing It" On Occasion, And Those Occasions Are Quite Usually For Serious Things. There Is A Difference Between A Tantrum And Mild Irritation. If A Man Throws Tantrums Like A Child, Watch Out! This Is A Wife Beater In The Making.

2¤ HITTING THINGS AND BREAKING THINGS WHEN ANGRY:

This May Look Like "At Least He Is Not Hitting Me", But For How Long Can You Take That Chance And Gamble On The Fact That Your Face May Or May Not Be The Next Thing That Is Broken In Two? If Your Boyfriend Punches The Wall Instead Of You, Do Not Take It As A Reassuring Sign. It Is Not. He Needs To Seek Help Or You Need To Help Yourself And Run!

3¤ UNREASONABLE SUSPICION AND JEALOUSY:

Pathologically Jealous People Are Prone To Extremes Of Behaviour. Is He Constantly Checking Up On You, Checking Your Phone, Asking To Know Your Whereabouts Down To The Last Detail? Does He Get Mad When You Interact With Other Males? Does He Read Wrong Meaning Into These Interactions? Does He Accuse You Of Cheating On Him With No Proof? Does He Tell You That He Is Being Protective, When He Is Confronted About This?

Obviously If You Have Broken Trust In The Past, Your Boyfriend Has A Right To Be Cautious. Still There Is Caution And Protectiveness And There Is Suspicion And Possessiveness. The Difference Between The Two Becomes Apparent When You Study The Interactions Of Other Ladies And Their Significant Others. Do Not Bury Your Head In The Sand.

4¤ OVER REACTION:

Does He Blow His Top Just Because You Burnt The Dinner And Come At You In A Heated Rage? Does He Get Angry Over Things That Most People Would Brush Aside? This Is Not A Good Thing. The Quality Of Self Control Or Impulse Control Is There To Make You Rein In Your Actions When Your Feelings Are Threatening To Take Over. A Man Who Consistently Over Reacts, Has Poor Impulse Control. The Next Time His Impulses Feel Like Giving You A "Beat-Down", He Will Just Give In.

5¤ HIS FATHER HIT HIS MOTHER:

Men Who Grow Up With Domestic Violence Are More Likely To See It As Normal, Than Those Who Did Not. In Most Cases We Replicate What We See, Either Because We Do Not Know Better (We Think It Is Normal Or Right); Or We Do Not Know Anything Different (We Know It Is Not Normal, But We Do Not Know Anything Else To Do). If Your Boyfriend's Father Hit His Mother, It Does Not Automatically Disqualify Him. You Both, However Will Need Counselling, Prayer And Mentorship To Guide You, So That You Do Not Fall Into The Same Bad Cycle. On The Flip Side, If Your Dad Hit Your Mother, You Too Are Likely To Fall For A Wife Beater Type. Please Be Extra Careful And Watch For Signs.

6¤ PREVIOUS EPISODES:

Did He Hit His Ex Wife? Did She "Make Him Do It"? He Will Most Likely Carry This Behaviour Forward. If He Hit His Ex-Wife Or Ex-Girlfriend And Has All The Excuses In The World, Sister-Girl, Pack Up Your Heart, Put It Back In Your Chest And Flee For Your Life! This Is Clearly A Man Who Has Anger And Violence Issues And Above All Is Unrepentant! Do Not Fall For The Lines: "She Was Difficult, She Was A Nag"; "You Are Different, You Bring Out The Best In Me". If At All Feasible, Try To Learn Of His Reputation From Other People Who Knew Him Before You Came Along. If He Says "I Have Changed" Watch Him In Potentially Challenging Situations. A Man Who Hit His Ex Will Have To Go Through Some Type Of Counselling Process Or Anger Management, To Quell "The Beast Within".

These Are Not Foolproof, And Domestic Violence Can Start After Marriage, Without Prior Signs. It Is However Surprising, And Scary To See Many Women Go Into Marriage Even With All The Above Screaming At THEM.

Do You Know Of Any Other Signs Of A Potential Wife Beater? I Would Love To Read Your Comments.

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THINGS YOU DO THAT MAKE YOU NOT SEEM LIKE A GIRLFRIEND/WIFE MATERIAL

So You've Been Hooking Up With This Guy For A Few Weeks, Maybe Even Months, But It Still Hasn't Really Progressed To The Next Level. He Hasn't Asked You Out To Dinner, Let Alone Asked You To Be His Girlfriend. And This Is About The Seventh Guy Who Has Done This To You.

Before You Get Ahead Of Yourself By Retiring To Being A Spinster All Your Life, Check Out This List. While In Some Cases It May Just Be That The Guy Isn't Looking For A Serious Relationship, It's Also Possible That You're Unintentionally Acting In Ways That Put You In The Hook-Up Or FWB Category, Rather Than The Girlfriend Or Wife Category.

1¤ YOU ACT LIKE YOU ARE HOT STUFF

Confidence Is An Awesome Trait, And No One's Saying You Shouldn't Flaunt It If You've Got It. But If You're Constantly Parading Around Like You Are On The Runway Of The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, Confidence Can Turn Into Unflattering Conceitedness.

"A Girl That Is Obnoxiously Loud And Acts Like She's Hot Sh*t The First Time You Meet Her Signals That She Is A B*tch," A Couple Of Guys Said.

"You Can't Really Talk To Those Types Of Girls. Maybe Guys Would Want To Hook Up With Them, But More Than Likely They Just Can't Stand Being Around Girls Like That. It's Much More Annoying Than It Is Attractive."

Would I Have To Constantly Feed Her Ego? Would I Always Be Waiting Three Hours For Her To Get Ready To Go Out? That's What Your Potential Boyfriend Would Ask Himself If You Can't Stop Bragging About That Time You Got Stopped On The Street Because You Were Mistaken For Beyonce Or Mercy Johnson.

If You Look Anything Like Beyonce Or Mercy Johnson, That's Amazing. But Play It Cool And Don't Act Like You Know It. Being Confident, Yet Down-To-Earth, Is A Gf/Wife Worthy Combination.

2¤ YOU HAVE A CAMPUS-WIDE REPUTATION:

Just Like You May Write Off A Dude Who Has Hooked Up With Half Of Your Friends And Is Always Seen Bringing A Different Girl Home Every Night, Guys May Be Reluctant To Date A Girl With That Reputation. Even If You're Interested In Settling Down, Getting Around A Lot Tends To Signal That You're Not Looking For Anything Serious Or Exclusive.

"Many Guys Don't Want To Date A Girl Who Is A Prude, And Also Don't Want A Girl That Your Boys Have Heard SEVERAL Stories About,"

A Guy Said "If You Ask Your Friends About A Girl And They Can Give You Graphic Stories On Graphic Stories About Things She's Done... She's Been Around Too Much. Girls Can Get Around, But Keep It Discrete. Once All That Spreads, She's Not Dateable In The Eyes Of Most."

If You Had A Wild Run Of Hook-Ups And Earned Yourself A Reputation, But Are Now Ready For A Relationship, Then Tone It Down And Lay Low For A Bit. Hang Out With Guys Instead Of Hooking Up With Them, And You Can Reinvent Yourself.

3¤ YOU NEVER PUT DOWN YOUR CELL PHONE:

"There's Nothing Worse Than A Girl That Is Clearly Glued To Her Phone, Yeah, You Know Who You Are, 'Girl That Tries To Be Clever And Not Think I Notice You Texting At Least Three Other Guys,' You're Showing To Me That You Have Other Options Than Me And That After We Hang Out You're About To Go To The Next Guy... Some Girls Think They're Really Sneaky About This Too, Which Just Makes It Worse."

Plus, If You're Always Texting Or Tweeting Or Instagramming When A Guy Is Trying To Talk To You, It Makes You Seem Uninterested And Not Invested In What He Has To Say. And If He Can't Count On You To Be There To Listen And Talk, He May Think He's Better Off Keeping You In The Friend With Benefit (FWB) Category.

4¤ YOU DON'T GET ALONG WITH HIS BEST FRIENDS

"If She Doesn't Get Along With Your Close Friends, Chances Are She's Not "The One,' " A Guy Says. "A Guy May Think That She's Chill, But If All Of His Closest Friends (Who Know Him The Best) Don't See It, Then She's Probably Not A Girlfriend/Wife Material. Or, The Dude Will Date Her Anyway And Realize She Is Miserable Three Months And Six Expensive Dinner Dates Later."

Try To Make An Effort To Get Along With His Crew. If They Are Unbearable, Then You May Want To Reconsider The Guy Because Those Are The People Closest To Him, Who He Chooses To Surround Himself With. That Can Be A Red Flag If Every Single One Of His Friends Drives You Crazy- Maybe He Will Too.

5¤ YOU TALK MORE SMACK THAN GOSSIP GIRL:

If You're Always Gossiping And Talking Behind People's Backs, Especially About Your Own Friends, The Guys You're Around May Consider You Catty, Shallow, And Disloyal-None Of Which Are Traits Of An Ideal Girlfriend.

Incessant Gossiping May Scare Guys Away Because If They Think You Love Drama (By Talking About It And Causing It), They Might Imagine That You Would Be Hard To Deal With In A Relationship, Or That The Relationship Would Be Full Of Fighting.

Instead Of Gossiping, Your Best Bet Is To Engage In Interesting Conversation With A Guy. "It's True That You Meet Most Girls In A Party Scene, But The Ones That Have Always Stuck Out To Me Have Been The Ones That Have Talked To Me About Things Other Than The Typical Topics Of Conversation.

If You Don't Mention At Least Something That Shows That You Know That There Is A Lot More In This World Than Inside Your College Campus, Then Don't Expect Anything More Than A One Night Stand.

6¤ YOU ARE WAY TOO CLINGY

If You Are CLINGY When You're Just Casually Hooking Up, Your Guy- Especially If He Likes His Space- May Be Freaked Out That The Clinginess Would Only Increase If You Were To Date.

Being Unbelievably Clingy Can Send Some Guys Running For The Hills.

If He Doesn't Respond To Your First Text, There's No Need To Quadruple Text Him. If He Has A Guys' Night Planned, Don't Try To Get Invited Or Make Him Feel Bad About Not Hanging Out With You. Making It Clear That You Enjoy Spending Time With Him But Have Your Own Life And Respect That He Has His Is Important For Many Guys.

It's Admirable When A Girl Has Her Own Strong Interests And Real Aspirations Separate From The Guy's "It Show That If You Were To Be In A Relationship With This Girl, She Would Have Other Things To Focus On Other Than The Relationship."

Typically, When Girls Have Nothing Else Better To Do Than Focus On Their Boyfriends, They Complain, And Ain't Nobody Got Time For That.

This List Is Definitely Not True For Every Single Guy Out There- Every Guy Has His Own Preferences And Pet Peeves. However, If You Notice That You're Guilty Of A Lot Of These Behaviours And Are Stuck In The Friend Or Hook-Up Zone, Making A Few Easy Adjustments Can Go A Long Way. And, If All Else Fails, You Can Always Settle For A Single Life All The Way.

For Those Who Wish To Contact Me On Further Disturbing Issue Regarding Any Of My Articles, Or Personal Issues... You Can Contact Me Using The Links Below...

www.twitter.com/ExzelDeeDollar

Exzeldee@gmail.com

BBM: 266BB759

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WHY LOVE LITERALLY HURTS?

Many People Believe That Love Is A Sensation That Generates When Mr Or Mrs Right Appears... No Wonder So Many People Are Single. Many People Approach A Relationship Either Consciously Or Unconsciously, They Believe Love Is A Sensation Based On Physical And Emotional Attraction That Magically/Spontaneously Generates When That Special Person Appears. And Just As Easily, It Can Spontaneously Degenerate When The Magic Just Isn't There Anymore. You Fall In Love, And You Can Fall Out Of Love. The Keyword Is Passivity. The Sad Consequence Of This Misconception Is: "There Is Hardly Any Activity, Any Enterprise, Which Is Started With Such Tremendous Hopes And Expectations And Yet, Which Fails So Regularly, As Love,"

Love Is The Attachment That Results In Deeply Appreciating Another's Goodness. See What We Value Most In Ourselves, We Value Most In Others. God Created Us To See Ourselves As Good (Hence Our Need To Either Rationalize Or Regret Our Wrong Doings). So, We Seek Goodness In Others. Nice Looks, An Engaging Personality, Intelligence And Talent (All Of Which Counts For Something) May Attract You, But Goodness Is What Moves You To Love. Trust Me! If That Person Doesn't See The Same Goodness In You, Love Is Not Possible Because It Really Takes Two To Love. I Like To Say Give And Receive.

Remember A Person Can't Love If They Don't Want To Be Loved. Love Is A Choice, If Love Comes From Appreciating Goodness, It Needn't Just Happen, Love Is Active. You Can Create It. Just Focus On The Good In Another. If You Can Do This Easily You'll Love Easily But Will Be Venerable To A Lot Of Fake Love In Return And Also Pain.

Obviously, There Is A Far Distance Between Personal Love And Unconditional Love. See Unconditional Love Is Rooted From Within... Only A Person Who Captures Your True Love Will Receive It... Because You See The True Goodness In Them. Actions Affect Feelings. How Can You Deepen Your Love For Someone? Actions Affect Our Feelings The Most. If You Want To Become More Compassionate, Thinking Compassionate Thoughts Will Be A Start. Giving Ultimately Is The Key. While Most People Think That Love Leads To Giving... The Truth Is Actually The Total Opposite, Giving Leads To Love. The First Action Of Giving Is Care, Demonstrating The Active Concern For A Person's Life And Growth. The Second Is Responsibility, Responding To Their Expressed And Unexpressed Needs, Especially Emotional Needs.

The Third Is Respect, The Ability To See A Person As They Really Are, To Be Aware Of Their Unique Individuality And Consequently, Wanting That Person To Grow And Unfold As They Are. These Three Actions All Depend On The Fourth, Knowledge. You Can Care For, Respond To, And Respect Another Only As Deeply As You Know Them.

The Effect Of Genuine Giving Is Profound. It Allows You Into Another Person's World And Opens You Up To Receiving Their Goodness. At The Same Time, It Means Investing A Part Of Yourself In The Other, Enabling To Love That Person As You Love Yourself . In Conclusion Love Is Also A Behavior, A Relationship Thrives When Two Partners Are Committed To Behaving Lovingly Through Continual, Unconditional Giving-- Not Only Saying, "I Love You" But Showing It! "I Love You" But Showing It! See, In The End Love Is Really Overrated And Inexplicable. People Come Into Your Life For A Reason, A Season Or A Lifetime. When You Know Which One It Is, You Will Know What To Do For That Person.

When Someone Is In Your Life For A REASON, It Is Usually To Meet A Need You Have Expressed. They Have Come To Assist You Through A Difficulty, To Provide You With Guidance And Support, To Aid You Physically, Emotionally Or Spiritually. They May Seem Like A Godsend And They Are.

They Are There For The Reason You Need Them To Be. Then, Without Any Wrongdoing On Your Part Or At An Inconvenient Time, This Person Will Say Or Do Something To Bring The Relationship To An End. Sometimes They Walk Away. Sometimes They Act Up And Force You To Take A Stand. What We Must Realize Is That Your Need Has Been Met, Our Desire Fulfilled, Their Work Is Done. The Prayer You Sent Up Has Been Answered And Now It Is Time To Move On.

Some People Come Into Your Life For A SEASON, Because Your Turn Has Come To Share, Grow Or Learn. They Bring You On Experience Of Peace Or Make You Laugh. They May Teach You Something You Have Never Done. They Usually Give You An Unbelievable Amount Of Joy. Believe It, It Is Real. But Only For A Season!

LIFETIME Relationships Teach You Lifetime Lessons, Things You Must Build Upon In Order To Have A Solid Emotional Foundation. Your Job Is To Accept The Lesson, Love The Person And Put What You Have Learned To Use In All Other Relationships And Areas Of Your Life. It Is Said That Love Is Blind But Friendship Clairvoyant. Thank You For Being A Part Of My Life Whether You Were A Reason, A Season Or A Lifetime.

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