Popular Culture Implies That After A Couple Has Dated For A Certain
Amount Of Time, The Next Logical Step In A Committed Relationship Is
Moving In Together. The Reason For This? People Apparently Think
Compatibility Cannot Be Tested Without The Actual Experience Of
Cohabitation. The Truth Is That A Trial Run Before Marriage Is Not The
Answer For Couples Who Are Considering Exclusivity.
Those Who Chose To Live Together Experienced A Decline In Emotional
Intimacy Instead Of A Strengthened Bond. A New Study By World Magazine
Measured Feelings Of Commitment And Intimacy For Unmarried Couples Who
Live Together, And Found They Never Achieved The Level Of Closeness
Married Couples Enjoy.
Essentially, Living Together Sets Most Couples Up For Probable
Failure, Because At That Point, Atleast One Person In The Relationship
Is Unsure If It Should Lead To Marriage, Instead Of Addressing That
Reservation With Openness And Honesty, The Uncertain Person Agrees To
A Trial Arrangement. As Seen In The Study, 52 Percent Of Men Are Not
"Almost Certain" Their Relationship Will Last. More Than Half Had
Reservations About The Longevity Of The Relationship.
Marriage Confirms The Bonding Of A Man And Woman By Specifying And
Guarding Certain Expectations And Responsibilities.
In Cohabitation, There Is Mutual Exploitation Within The Possibility
Of Potential Flight; This Does Not Promote A Strong Or Lasting
Relationship. In Marriage, Spouses Have A Higher Incentive To Learn
What Pleases Each Other And They Become Good At It; They Expect To
Stay Together.
Merely Living Together Is An Open Question Mark Because The Future Is
Undecided. Cohabitation By Its Very Nature Does Not Promote The Same
Deep Connection Of Mutual Trust And Emotional Vulnerability. Intimacy
That Is Reserved For Marriage Is Cheapened By This Experience And
Cannot Be Replicated. This Brings Up The Real Issue: Why Does Lasting
Love, Commitment And Emotional Vulnerability Scare Many People Into
Thinking They Need An Escape Route? In All Via Experience And
Research, The Following Mindsets Drive This Particular Rational:
¤ FEAR OF NOT PICKING THE "RIGHT ONE."
Marriage Is Sacred And Perhaps The Most Important Decision Any Person
Will Make. The Best Assurance Of Selecting The Right Person To Marry
Is Preparation Before You Even Begin Dating. If You Know What You
Should Be Looking For In Terms Of Love And Commitment, The More
Confidence You Will Have In Your Dating Choices- And Those You
Attract. If You Do Not Work Through Past Relationship Challenges, You
Will Not Be Able To See The Right Partner Because Your Norm Is Rooted
In Wrong Mindsets. You End Up Attracting The Same Negative Experience,
Even Though Each New Person May Have A Different Background,
Educational Or Occupational Experience. Your Emotional Connection
Leads Back To Repetition Of The Established Pattern.
¤ FEAR OF FUTURE DIVORCE:
Living Together Is Not Divorce Prevention, Nor It Is Not Marriage
Preparation. It Is Divorce Training. It Does Increase The Likelihood
Of Divorce If The Couple Decides To Marry. The National Survey Of
Families And Households Found That Couples Who Cohabit Before Marriage
Are 50 Percent More Likely TO Divorce. People Who Have Multiple
Cohabiting Relationships Before Marriage Are More Likely To Experience
Marital Conflict, Unhappiness And Divorce Than People Who Do Not Live
Together Before Marriage. It Is The Attitude That Living Together Can
Be A Temporary And Easily Ended Step In Love That May Make Cohabition
More Conducive To Future Divorce.
¤ FEAR OF LOSING FREEDOM:
People Who Live Together Show Greater Tendencies Toward Individualism,
Leading To A Strong Desire For Self-Autonomy Within The Relationship.
One Of The Appeals Of Living Together Is The Increased Freedom And
Decreased Responsibility Toward Each Other. Living Together Is Not
Empowering For Women. It Places Them In A Vulnerable Position,
Emotionally And Materiall. Cohabiting Couples Many Times See The
Relationship Very Differently. Women Generally See Moving In Together
As A Step Toward Marriage, While Most Men Tend To Regard The
Relationship As More Of A Sexual Opportunity Without The Ties And
Responsibilities Of Commitment.
Marriage Is The Opposite Experience: The Couple Is Stronger And More
Effective Together Than Apart, As Spouses Tends To Think Of "Us"
Rather Than "I." It Is The Sense Of Being Bound To Each Other That
Provides Stabilization In Marriage To The Right Person. The Couple Who
Is Firmly Committed To Marriage Has A Much Greater Chance Of A
Genuine, Lasting Relationship Than The Couple Who Regards Their Living
Arrangement As A Trial Period Subject To Termination. Marriage Makes
You Try Harder And Expose Your Vulnerabilities To Each Other. Your
Spouse Holds You Accountable For Your Words And Actions. You Have
Someone Who Will Be Truthful With You. Together, You Can Experience
Real Freedom. You Can Face Challenges And Accomplish Life's Tasks
According To Each Person's Strengths.
Marriage Is Not Simply A Piece Of Paper; It Is A Public Declaration
That Changes The Way You Think About Yourself. While The Stigma Of
Living Together Has Been Reduced, That Does Not Mean It Is The Correct
Choice Morally, Emotionally Or Spiritually. Every Person Who Desires A
Loving, Connected, Lasting Marriage Can Achieve That Goal By Preparing
For And Raising Their Expectations For Lasting Love And Commitment.
